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Help pls

7 replies

Nocluewhattodonext · 16/07/2025 09:00

Hi everyone, looking for some help pls. My husband was an overnight work event recently. Another attendee junior to him but not in his mgt chain or work location but who he knows has accused of him, behaving inappropriately. When told of this my husband has no recollection of anything happening, which concerned him. He is not denying it didn’t happen or questioning the colleagues description of events. He’s been to see his gp who has asked if he had been drinking on the night in question. My husband had but was previously advised that moderate drinking was ok with the medication he was taking and the nhs site confirmed this. The medication is for a long standing disability. The gp has stated that the medication along with alcohol and stress / tiredness (extremely long working day and lengthy travel beforehand) was the likely cause of his inability to remember and that a side effect can be loss of control, inhibitions etc. my husband is absolutely devastated that he has caused this impact on a colleague and is willing to do anything it takes to make it right. He has never done anything like this before and has attended multiple events of a similar nature, all without issue. He has stopped drinking totally and sought help. My question to any hr / employment lawyers is would the situation with the medication and the fact that alcohol was provided by the company be considered a mitigating factor? We can provide a letter from the gp in support of this. He has an unblemished record and is long serving and has never had any complaints of this nature before. He deserves to be disciplined and demoted but I would hope that he can at least retain some employment.
before any one jumps on me I’m beyond furious with him for his conduct and am appalled that his behaviour has impacted another woman. I don’t in any way condone his actions but at the same time I need to understand how to help to best prepare for the discipline.

OP posts:
HermioneWeasley · 16/07/2025 09:07

Yes, the fact he had been advised that moderate drinking was ok and his behaviour was likely due to effects of medication and alcohol (I wouldn’t major on it being provided by the company) would be mitigation. I would explain this, explain his intense embarrassment and heartfelt apology.

do you know what he’s alleged to have done - was it an inappropriate comment or was there physical contact involved?

HermioneWeasley · 16/07/2025 09:08

Also, how long has he worked there and have there been any other issues (is this out of character for him?)

Nocluewhattodonext · 16/07/2025 09:10

Thank you so much for you reply. No, won’t be mentioning the company aspect. He is alleged to have put his hand on the colleagues waist whilst talking to her and also an inappropriate comment.

OP posts:
Nocluewhattodonext · 16/07/2025 09:11

HermioneWeasley · 16/07/2025 09:08

Also, how long has he worked there and have there been any other issues (is this out of character for him?)

20 plus years with no issues and worked with women throughout this time. No issues ever raised and has good relationships across the board.

OP posts:
HermioneWeasley · 16/07/2025 09:18

Ok, with 20 years unblemished record and a medical excuse and a profound apology and assurance it will never happen again I would expect the worst he would get is a written warning.

gather your evidence and be very apologetic

Nocluewhattodonext · 16/07/2025 09:24

HermioneWeasley · 16/07/2025 09:18

Ok, with 20 years unblemished record and a medical excuse and a profound apology and assurance it will never happen again I would expect the worst he would get is a written warning.

gather your evidence and be very apologetic

Thank you so much for your help

OP posts:
HermioneWeasley · 16/07/2025 09:42

no problem. I hope it all works out ok

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