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Should my friend say the actual reason why she left work

11 replies

uihd · 12/07/2025 10:23

My friend has been unemployed for 8 months now. She was forced to leave after the manager at the store bullied her that she was crying all the time outside work and threw up on a few times too. She was the 10th staff member to leave in 5 months due to his behaviour. Though she was one of just three that served her notice period - with the last week and a half on annual leave. Rest quit on the spot or said leaving on (a date a few days time).

Now when she has been asked as to why she has left her last job. She says she wanted a career break, get out of retail and didn't find the job challenging enough - she excels in challenges.

Has heard from the staff who have quit on the spot or worked their notice in and none have a job - some have done 2-5 week temp assignments - that's it. The ones that left a few days later either had a job to go to or commenced university studies.

My friend is now thinking if she said the actual truth, highlighting the high number of staff who have left in a short period of time. Plus if the store manager never became the manager of that store, she would still be working at her last employer. The store has lost some decent workers due to him. Some, including my friend, raised grievances and they were blocked as area manager thought there was nothing wrong with the manager. BS!

I am unsure if telling the actual truth will give a sympathetic approach, nothing extra or just clutching at straws.

OP posts:
jamanbutter · 12/07/2025 12:25

Clutching at straws.
Not sure why you are dragging it all up for your friend. If she wants to move on from it all, let her. If the manager is so bad ultimately the company will pay for it.

Pollqueen · 12/07/2025 12:28

It is never a good idea to bad mouth an ex boss or workplace in an interview for a new job

pizzaandchips123 · 12/07/2025 12:29

Let your friend make her own informed choices. She will have her reasons.

pizzaandchips123 · 12/07/2025 12:29

Pollqueen · 12/07/2025 12:28

It is never a good idea to bad mouth an ex boss or workplace in an interview for a new job

This

Annony331 · 12/07/2025 12:49

She is outside the time to raise any grievance.

She may need a reference further down the line which he does not need to supply or can provide a poor one.

It does not benefit her in anyway to mention a problem now

LlynTegid · 12/07/2025 13:00

I wish you were able to name the store so I can be sure I never set foot in it.

LlynTegid · 12/07/2025 13:01

Pollqueen · 12/07/2025 12:28

It is never a good idea to bad mouth an ex boss or workplace in an interview for a new job

Sadly the case even though it is telling the truth and the number of staff who have left is an objective fact, not rumour or a guess.

UK2HK · 12/07/2025 18:31

Annony331 · 12/07/2025 12:49

She is outside the time to raise any grievance.

She may need a reference further down the line which he does not need to supply or can provide a poor one.

It does not benefit her in anyway to mention a problem now

Presumably the employer could just provide a boilerplate reference consisting of dates and roles etc.

We're not the US and employers are presumably not fearful of litigation due to 'libel'.
A boilerplate would be:
Name of ex - employee
Dates
NO MENTION OF REASON FOR RESIGNATION / TERMINATION
Department / position worked
Employer's / HR's contact details
Employers can probably read into it what they will.
Employers do this to cover their back as boilerplate information is objective.

UK2HK · 12/07/2025 18:32

Pollqueen · 12/07/2025 12:28

It is never a good idea to bad mouth an ex boss or workplace in an interview for a new job

Precisely

Anyone would argue otherwise has never worked before.

Ireallywantadoughnut36 · 12/07/2025 18:46

She definitely should not tell a new employer about these issues at an interview. Her current reason sounds sensible and appealing. It's not necessarily fair, but if I heard that story I'd think a) it might not be true and she's unprofessional bad mouthing a previous employer b) if it is true she might not be very resilient or good at following processes to resolve issues.
All of that is unfair but it is what they'll think. Nobody gets a job via pity.
If she's thinking of raising it with her previous employer she could write a letter to their head office, they'll also have the stats of staff leaving, but retail can be high turnover anyway, presumably this manager got results in the sense his store was profitable (or he'd have been managed out, retail is very quick to see performance results). Also, whilst bullying isn't nice, and has obviously caused her stress and should not be tolerated, it's not exactly a smoking gun in the same way that sexual harassment (along with text messages and emails proving it) or evidence of some other huge issue that could go public would be. Ultimately, she's had a horrid experience but has moved on and needs to put it behind her and focus on a new role. Nobody will be interested and they'll see it as unprofessional if she brings it all up now.

Ivy888 · 13/07/2025 07:46

I’m not sure why you’re asking what your friend should do. You sound a little over invested. Unless you’re secretly the friend?

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