Stuck in a Job I really don't like

[Hadtochangemyhat]

Asking for some advice from you wise Mumsnetters really. I have been at my job now for 6 months. I am a mature lady with many years experience behind me. However, on paper the job sounded like my dream job, but I just don't like it! Its not particularly busy and I am just really unhappy. Its affecting my mental health worrying all the time. I've had to learn some things on the job which has been frustrating as I feel I am bumbling my way along. Because I am older my age will deflect any future interviews. The job before this one was extremely busy and I was brilliant at it but the management was toxic so I thought I would try something new - big mistake! Not sure if anyone has been through anything similar or any words of wisdom?

Did the job not live up to the expectations of being your "dream job," because the description proved inaccurate, or did you just miscalculate what you thought were the characteristics of your "dream job"? What are the root causes for this deception?

The reason I ask is that if the job has not turned out to be what you were promised in the interview, then I suggest you schedule a meeting with your manager and discuss this. It may be that they initially gave you tasks that they felt would help you ease into the role, and they have failed to circle back around to what they really want you to eventually be doing. Your boredom or dissatisfaction is the "clue" that you are ready to do the "real" job, and perhaps, they have been consciously or sub-consciously waiting for this signal from you.

If the job, instead, turned out to be something entirely different than advertised, it is time for management to acknowledge this and make a plan to get you doing what they hired you to do.

@anitarielleliphe Thank you for your reply. To be honest the job description looked amazing and so busy which appealed to me. However in reality a lot of the jobs seem to have been elaborated somewhat! My employer takes on most of the tasks himself and will not delegate - that has been very apparent and I have tried to say "oh I could take that on"!. I have now had 2 meetings and expressed my concern and he said all the right things but nothing has changed! I know I need to move on because it just isn't the job for me but its so hard as I am older and there isn't much out there. I do feel as if it was miss-sold a bit TBH.

I would say move on. Just the very fact that you've started looking for a new job will make you feel better and something will come up.

If it's making you unhappy, worried and is affecting your mental health don't tolerate it. You will not get these days back. The only regrets I have about my working life were staying too long in jobs that weren't for me. I should have cut my losses and got out.

@Bridport Thank you for taking the time to reply. I agree with you. I get so much conflicting advice but all I can say is I know its not making me happy.

By your employer's description and the fact that he is taking on duties that you should be, I would say that he is either insecure, himself, and perhaps feels that he must show value, or he is a poor manager, or a combination of both.

The fact that you have voiced your concerns, been told "what you wanted to hear," but nothing changed, shows that he is not really listening to you and is not truthful, or because of fear of conflict, does not tell you the whole truth.

Either way, this is not a good thing for you, and I would look for other work. Maybe this experience has given you some ideas to ask for questions to ask in interviews that may be able to ferret out similar situations in the future? Best of luck.

I’m in a similar position except only two months in. I was laid off from my last job which became an extremely toxic environment but was glad to get out. I found a job quickly but my aim was to get a job, any job! I’ve been contracted out but they’re giving me all the crap admin jobs and there’s so much duplication of effort and not much task orientated activities that I cant tangibly saying I add value. I was head of dept before but now just bored and there are red flags that maybe the company was not the best choice. I feel I should at least get past probation. Job market is rubbish though !

@Whatamiwishingfor I feel your pain. Makes you feel so anxious doesn’t it? I feel a bit conned, not deliberately, but not what I want. I am looking hard but the job market is bad atm and I’m older. I hope u find something. It’s been a long 6 months for me!!