Small talk at work with senior people

[rainywinds]

When I have 1-2-1's with people significantly senior I hate hate hate having to start the meeting with small talk. I like to start in with A, B, C, etc. But, feel its rude and I should make the effort to be cordial you know?

Today I had a meeting with out CEO for an update. She'd just come back from 3 weeks where she was at a big industry event in Asia. It was so hard for me to ask interested questions.

I dont have this issue with people I consider my level at work, it's just the seniors that I feel intimidate by. Makes me wish small talk wasn't a thing.

How does everyone do it?

Does it help to know that even people at the levels you're talking about often feel the same? I'm csuite of a very large global company and no matter who I'm talking to - my boss ceo, my line reports, grads, the receptionist - I hate hate hate that small talk needed at the start of a conversation. I'm certainly not judging anyone who I'm talking to, I'm busy trying to navigate that excruciating minute at the beginning. I tend to go for breezy and quick and take their lead. If I'm asked anything (how was your weekend etc), I just say good thanks or something similarly bland and hope to God we just move on (we usually do!)

I'd probably ask how the flights had been in that situation..

In my first job the head of dept couldn't do small talk at all. He could only talk about work (a branch of science!)

I talk about stuff relating to me that I know others find easy ish to relate to - my cats, my kid’s concerts, the weather.

Small talk is part of maintaining a culture of aimiability so that people don’t feel treated in an impersonal transactional way. Losing social lubrication contributes to mental health problems. It is crucial to remember everyone is human.