Survived this round of redundancy but feel dreadful

[Toto21]

I’ve been with my company just over a year and love my job and the company after a string of pretty toxic environments. My manager is great and I’ve had a good feeling my performance has been good.

It’s a very specialised, technical role and although similar companies would have 20 of me my company has just 2 until 3 weeks ago when they suddenly let the other person go through redundancy. They’ve been at the company for 8 years and so have built up a lot of relationships at work so, understandably, people were upset. My manager had to choose.

I’ve been told that although the occasional redundancy is normal the size of the current redundancies is not (around 15%). I WFH so haven’t heard much but have had 3 messages from colleagues telling me not to “blame” myself, telling me people are questioning why it was him and they’re very upset about it. I was also at a dinner where colleagues were talking about how it shouldn’t have been them. Don’t get me wrong, I’m really upset for this person. I enjoyed working with them and really wish this hadn’t happened but, maybe I’m being over sensitive, but I felt really uncomfortable.

He was around for a week before going on gardening leave so we had several 1:1 for handover. He was very nice and a lot more together than I would have been but there were some passive aggressive comments (he’d hate to be in my shoes, he hopes I don’t drown under the work, the company’s falling apart so he’s fortunate to be out now, colleagues are phoning him panicked because they don’t know me etc).

I’ve felt dreadful since the announcement (I have anxiety anyway since experiencing a very traumatic work experience over a year ago). Very anxious, worried about job security, catastrophising. There were several projects I’d hoped my ex colleague would take on (I tended to have to take the lead on everything) but either they’re scheduled to start soon or the jobs they were supposed to do 6 months ago they haven’t done. As I’m the only one now I’m feeling a lot of pressure (not because anyone’s said anything but because my mind is spinning with the responsibility.) Headless chicken mode has kicked in and I’m feeling panicked. I’m also worried everyone’s now scrutinising me to work out why I was kept and if I was worth it.

We had a very awkward goodbye meeting as a team for the person and they all reminisced about the old days. I’m fairly new so could barely contribute 2 words and then worried for hours after that my manger might think I’m a bit heartless.

Reading this back to myself I recognise I’m spiralling here.

I feel like my manager has also been a bit off with me since the announcement. I’m
not sure, but a bit distant. Today they gave me a small reprimand out of the blue for something after they jumped to conclusions about something. this has never happened before. I quickly tried to diffuse the situation and clarify. I think we left things OK but it wasn’t typical of them.

she’s reassured me that my job is one of the safest and if she has to choose others it won’t be me but my mind is whirring with anxiety, I’m worried about spending money and I’m increasingly feeling down.

Has anyone else survived a redundancy and then felt awful, paranoid about job security or like colleagues thought it should have been them?

Survivor guilt is a known stage of the process. It will pass.
If you google the stages of change you might get some reassurance that this is perfectly normal.

I don't understand how the other person was let go. If you were both doing the same role with the same job spec there should have been a redundancy selection process but it sounds like a decision was made without this happening.

@isitme111 yeah, I’m not really sure to be honest. For clarity this is a multinational company so there are different rules in different countries. This person checked with a solicitor in their country and they confirmed it was above board.

They could have just let me go though seeing as I’ve been there less than 2 years.

Will he be able to get another job easily enough?

@Stripeyanddotty i’m not sure. It’s quite specialised but I was looking last year and got 3 job offers. It’s down to luck what happens to get advertised when you need it. He’s said he can wait until the new year though because the redundancy benefits are good in his country.

This, sounds like an unfair selection in that rules weren't followed.

If they chose to let him go over you either he wasn’t performing and this was a tactical move or he was on a higher wage and it wasn’t a cost cutting exercise. It’s crappy for you though as others will be resentful and may unfairly make you the bad guy. . The way they behaved during their exit was unprofessional and unfair on you. All you can do is keep your head down and focus on doing a good job.

@whynotmereally the company is doing this for financial reasons and they’ve stressed that the choice wasn’t performance related but I suspect it’s because I’m a lot more experienced.

A genuinely lovely and well meaning colleague messaged me the other day to check in saying not to take any of it personally, people are very emotional at the moment and I’m not to blame. They obviously thought I’d been privy to conversations going on but people have made sure I’m not. This was after my boss announced I wouldn’t be taking on all the leftover responsibilities (only certain projects) so some of the teams will be left short.

I'm getting a lot of LinkedIn clicks and my ex colleague made sure to contact lots of industry colleagues to let them know (immediately after being told), including my ex colleagues so people from other companies are all clicking on me too.

Feeling very self conscious and hyper aware of everything I do. I’m trying to be extra helpful and nice to people but this was what caused my manager to snap a bit at me yesterday because I’d inadvertently taken a call from someone (they’d been told to only contact me about certain projects) and instead of telling them firmly I couldn’t help them I spoke to them for 10 minutes and offered pointers. I’ve explained to my boss that I’ve made it clear I can’t help on beyond that and she seemed happier by the end of the call.

A cost cutting exercise that involved them paying 8 yrs redundancy when they could have ditched you for nothing more than notice pay ? I hope he takes them to the cleaners because that’s not sounding like an amazingly fair process. You were bought in to replace him.

You don't have to stay with them. Keep your eyes open and be ready to move on if they will ditch someone like that, they have no loyalty to you.

You have a good relationship with your boss.
Your key now is to spend a few days just packaging up everything outstanding so you know exactly where you are..
On Monday tell boss that is what you are doing and book a meeting with them for Wednesday so you can both agree a list of priorities

It will pass. I had a similar situation and I had a colleague very upset that I “got their job”, I didn’t but they weren’t thinking straight. I kept my head down and once the leavers left all the survivors were able to get back to normal. Ultimately you didn’t make this decision. Quite correct the company didn’t let you go because you have less than 2 years, last in first out isn’t allowed as a selection method anymore.

Your job sounds pretty secure to me. The dust will settle. You don’t need to be extra nice to people or worry about what they think. It was a business decision that was out of your control. I know it’s not as easy as saying ‘ah don’t worry about it’ but look at the facts. You are more experienced. Your job is secure. There will be comments/LinkedIn activity for a month or so. Colleagues comments and feelings are unlikely to be out of loyalty to the person made redundant but because they are adjusting to change and insecurities about their own roles. This will all calm down. It’s not your problem. Don’t let it eat you up.

I think that’s some of what’s shaken people. It’s a company people traditionally stay at for their whole career so the 20+ years colleagues who are waiting for retirement are starting to panic.

There have been other redundancies announced over the last week but this was the first so people were shocked.

I’m keeping my eyes open for opportunities but I’m also reluctant to jump ship. I love my job and I have savings to last 2 years if needed (really hope I don’t have to use it).

Good advice, thanks. I have regular calls with her so I’ll go through the projects I’ve inherited, clean up the files and start familiarising myself with them. Starting Monday I’ll reach out to the project leaders as well to arrange calls.
I’ve also started on a big side project I’d hoped my ex colleague had started but hadn’t. Trying very hard not to criticise them to other people (but finding they were a bit slack on things!). My boss asked me this week why an issue had only just been spotted with one project (in truth because the ex had no experience, refused to read up on it and blindly followed our consultant). I instead said it was because I’d only just inherited the project, and we’d only just received intel that a decision would affect it (true but the ex should have scoped all possibilities).

I'd also bear in mind that there are probably things that are unknown about colleagues performance. The redundancy and pay out may have been a convenient move on bosses part.

That sounds like he was less protected by the rules in his country than you are in yours.

If so, it's not your fault, but I can see how people will feel it's unfair.

I bet the ex colleague was being paid a lot more than you hence why they got rid of him. You sound highly competent so it was probably pretty equal between you but maybe you’re cheaper.

A really edgy situation OP but hold your head high, you’ve done nothing except do your job well! Let the shock pass and keep on being as conscientious as you are.

there might be other reasons.

the one I'm thinking off was unreasonable behaviour. and their departure was dressed up as redundancy to avoid bad blood didn't quite work

but pp are right. it's not your fault. keep looking for jobs and keep in close contact with your managers and colleagues. redundancies are never fun and it's a balancing act if the real reason is cashflow issues.