Burnout. will I ever feel like going back to work?

[Busyworkingbees]

Nearly 4 weeks off since burnout from big 4; I have more physical energy; I was exhausted first two weeks; I am still dreading going back to work though so no mentally or emotionally ready.

Will I ever feel ready? I have started talking therapist, I am thinking this job is not for me anymore; but don’t have the motivation to look for a new job either. 4 years in the job.

Feel like retiring but I am early 50s and only 125k in pension. Big 4 put me of work; hopefully not for good.

I've been off for stress for 3 months and the longer I'm off the less I can imagine going back. The idea fills me with dread. I really sympathise with you. I did start feeling better in myself after about 6 weeks, but I just know that work caused this and the environment and role haven't changed so if I do ho back it will end up being the same.

Maybe time for us both to try something new. I'm also early 50s.

Off with stress or burnout.bevause with burnout like the flu it's very different. It's complete exhaustion. I was barely functioning 2 weeks after. 3 months I behan very nervously to re-emerge into life. 18 months later I am still recovering from burnout. There were days/ are days I thought I could get back to normal but the fatigue effects show me that my battery charge is never more than out of the critical 15%

Thank you both.

Good to hear other opinions. Didn’t realise how much this impacts your career and work future.

My burnout is due to stress because high demand of the job, politics, high expectations, client facing, constant deadlines, and unfair treatment.

Find something else, if you can. If it’s taking you a long time to heal from the burnout, I think going back to the same place might just traumatise you.

Good luck with whatever path you decide to take next.

yes, agree with this. I think i need to quit but will do it when I feel better and have the mind yo start job hunting

So for now, concentrate on getting better and tell yourself you will look for a new job; that thought might help you to recover.

I burnt out from teaching and only really recovered when i had handed in my notice! It allowed me to pop back and do the last couple of weeks of term happily, knowing I was done.

I had a burnout 15 years ago when I was living in the Netherlands, first 3 months I couldn't remember a pin number, drove to the town and had no idea at all at how to get home again, and couldn't read, watch TV or concentrate on anything for more than 15 minutes without needing a sleep. I ended up having a year off work. I am now functioning again in a similar tole to my previous one BUT!

I will always be susceptible to stress, I know exactly what I can cope with but ignore that and my brain overloads, and I can't get words out, and if I take on too much I will crash and burn at some point and sleep for 24 hours.

On the plus side I absolutely recognise the signs and feelings and am able to make much better choices for myself, have walked away from relationships, friendships and jobs that I realised were not doing me any good at all.

I am very lucky to have a really supportive husband who is not adverse to telling me when he thinks I am doing too much or am starting to twitch!

It does get better - it will never be the same but actually you wouldn't want it to be as that is what broke you!

The best cure I found was just getting outside, doing something where I had to be in the moment noticing what was happening around me. to cull the racing brain x

I am coming to the conclusion that work at the pace expected these days is almost impossible to manage for the decades we have to work.

If you think about it, the traditional pattern was that you started young, brave but inexperienced, but had mentors. Then, you gained confidence through experience, and worked at your most effective. Then, in your mid 50s, you started to train and mentor the younger generation. Finally, in your 60s, you were the old office dinosaur who had tonnes of experience, but no energy and couldn't be bothered to face the changes in tech etc.

Now we're expected to keep working at pace, with less support, for longer. More litigious culture. Everyone quick to blame. So burn out has become a real issue.

Honestly, I'd take a step back and look to see if you adapt your career, do something different, or change the way you work.

Big 4 is not for everyone. Some people thrive and others don’t and it’s too much stress and anxiety - and also I think it can suit different times in your life.

Focus on getting better than look for another job that is not within the big 4. Less pay but you will feel so much better. Life is short and you don’t want to be miserable.

Four weeks is nowhere near long enough. I took two months then got another job a little more quickly than I expected to, and although there was a lot less stress in my new job I still found it difficult at first - there were quite a few private episodes of tears in the ladies' loo, tbh. Just over a year in, I'm good, doing fine.

You will get better, but it'll take time. Therapy is helpful, I'm glad you are doing that. After what happened to me, therapy changed my life and I still go every few weeks to keep me on track.

I would rethink Big 4 and, when you feel ready, look for something else. You will have many transferable skills. As someone else said, going back to the same environment will traumatise you. I knew when I left the job that caused me to burn out, that I could never go back.

But the most important thing is that you rest, take care of yourself and recover.

You likely need months not weeks off and to change jobs. Less money probably but it's finding a manageable job with lower stress levels that you can keep doing as long as you need to. The aim being to reduce the stressors in your life. Good luck with it all.

@crunchybiscuitandtea that was very much my experience and it

I will always be susceptible to stress, I know exactly what I can cope with but ignore that and my brain overloads, and I can't get words out, and if I take on too much I will crash and burn at some point and sleep for 24 hours.

This is so true! When I'm not paying attention and my diary fills up, my brain becomes busier than it can cope with it is like it hits malfunction; imagine smoke and alarms. and if my sleep starts playing up, I know to take a sleeping tablet, because lack of sleep plus burnout - however much fun the activities are, is hellish.

I’m in this boat.

Took a month off from work to have a “real break”. In truth I feel no better on my return. This job isn’t forever but now wondering how I can keep going even another 21 months until I can retire. My problem is an inability to concentrate for more than five minutes and really wanting to doze all the time. The spirit is (sort of ) willing but the body definitely isn’t. I’m half heartedly enthusiastic about work and am in constant fear that my employer will ask me to go soon for lack of productivity. A viscous circle.

just want to feel different and better about it all but my ability to self motivate has definitely dried up.

I think this is a consequence of many years of juggling family life with a high octane career.

Thank you. I think I would definitely look for another job when I feel ready. I trying to look after myself but do feel I a bit more sensitive and anxious since burnout. I guess anyone who has gone through this needs time to heal.

Looks like you needed more than a month

How did therapy help you? I only had one session so far where I mainly talk but I guess that is the point. Never had therapy before

For me it was vital! If only to have someone say "nope that's not normal" I was (still am but to a lesser extent) a people pleaser so would push over and above what was required to please people both in my working and private life my therapist actually calling me out on this telling me that my behaviour was not normal made me realise I could pull back, still do a good job, be a good daughter, partner but not kill myself in the process was a game changer for me.

Also when I found myself falling asleep 6 times during an episode of TV someone to say "yep that will happen but you will get stronger" stopped me from beating myself up for not just "getting over it" and allowing myself the time to really mend.

The best point she made was to think of my burnout as a literal burn on the brain, it would be perfectly fine in time but if I started to overdo things, let too much stress in it would literally be the first thing to go boom - and she was totally right if I let the stress take over I literally find myself unable to get words out and babble - I have become very very protective of my work life balance x

@Busyworkingbees therapy helped me to understand that what happened to me at work wasn't my fault and that I hadn't brought the burnout upon myself. It helped me to identify the many red flags that led up to it, which I hadn't been able to see until she teased out the strands. I am by nature a people pleaser too, and my therapist made me understand that I am important and that my needs are important, that work is not the most important thing in life and that I should take time for myself. She made me see that I did the right thing getting out of there when I did and supported me through the early wobbles of my new job. I talk a lot in the sessions, and my therapist guides the conversation and helps me to open up. She is able to get me to reframe my thinking, which really helps me. She challenges me too at times, which is sometimes very difficult, but ultimately it is useful. I see her every three weeks or so, and it's very worth it.

I’ve just been diagnosed with depression and anxiety, work being a major reason why. I’m still working but really struggling to cope. I’m in my 30’s so definitely have to work. The dream would be to work for myself but to actually generate and idea and work on it seems to far fetched right now.

Sorry for no advice, just similar boat

Sorry to hear this. Take care of yourself.

I fortunate I got 3 months fully paid sick leave,

Thank you. This is helpful

Recovery from burnout is not a one-size-fits-all process—some may recover in weeks, while others take months or longer depending on individual circumstances. Here is a breakdown of some of the phases.

7 phases of burnout recovery
Recovering from burnout needs a patient, understanding, and proactive approach that’s likely to be different for everyone. You might have days that feel like you're not making progress, but what matters is that you're taking steps, however small, toward a healthier, more balanced life as you rebuild your energy and resilience.

1. Acknowledging you’re burnt out

The first step in recovery is admitting that you’re experiencing burnout. This can be tough, but remember that burnout is a common response to prolonged stress, not a personal failing.

1. Distancing from stressors

Where possible, try to distance yourself from the people, places, or habits that cause you stress. This might mean delegating tasks at work, taking a short break or vacation, or reevaluating your commitments to everyone in your social circle. Give yourself some space and reduce the immediate pressure.

1. Focusing on self-care

Prioritize your physical and mental health. Get enough sleep, eat well, engage in physical activities, and allow yourself time to relax and do things you enjoy. Self-care isn’t selfish—it's essential for your recovery.

1. Reassessing priorities and goals

Burnout often signals that something in your life is out of alignment with your values. Take time to think about what’s truly important to you. Set new goals or adjust your current ones to fit with your personal and professional aspirations.

1. Setting boundaries

Learning to say no and setting limits is vital in preventing future burnout. Establish clearer work-life boundaries, or be more assertive about your needs and limits.

1. Seeking support

Ask for help from friends, family, colleagues, or professional counselors. A support network can provide emotional assistance and practical advice as you recover.

1. Making gradual changes

Recovery from burnout is often a slow process. And that’s okay. Make small, manageable changes rather than attempting to overhaul your life all at once. Celebrate the victories and be patient with yourself as you adapt to your more balanced way of living.

https://www.calm.com/blog/how-to-recover-from-burnout

Thank you for such a detailed post. I appreciate it