Career and Money or Time with Family?

[Aquarius93]

Hoping to get some advice as I’ve been struggling with this decision for a while.

I have two children (3yo & 1yo). I returned to work full time in January but quickly burnt out. In April I asked to reduce to working 4 days a week and this was refused - I was told ‘it’s a full time job’. Things haven’t improved much since and the business is going through a restructure and not performing well financially so prospects aren’t great. I am currently well paid (£60k) and work fully remotely.

I have been looking for other part time jobs in my field (HR) and have applied for one in a school which is 2 days a week. This will save me a lot on childcare but money would still be very tight.

My head is telling me to stay in my current job, keep earning well for my kids and to rely on wrap around care when my daughter starts school. My heart is saying I want to have the time with them while they’re so little, be able to pick my daughter up from school, take her to play dates etc.

Does anyone have any advice or experience? Husband is looking for new roles too to try and increase his income but they are limited in his field.

£60k fully home working is a rarity, so I might be inclined to hang on as best you can at least until other half is stable.

but ultimately, HR is a buoyant industry, if you’re a specialist at level 5 or 7 there is always work to be had. You’ll never get those years with the little ones back.

It will be easier when they’re school age because remote working you can shuffle (I do every school run for example and still work 50 hours plus a week.).

I’d stay in your current job, unless you think the remote working is likely to change.

For me it would depend on what quality of life you’ll be able to have if you only worked 2 days a week. If you would still be able to afford to have a family holiday, some days out, buy everything needed, save for yourselves and for your DCs future then I would go for it. If you wouldn’t be able to afford those things then I’d stay where you are and work full time.

Given that it is WFH and you are well established there I would hang on a bit longer as surely you can reapply for flexible working in due course? The business might now be glad to reduce the cost base, given its financial position.

Could you apply to do 5 short days, as that way you can be available each day but have more time for your DC? That would also work well when school is on the horizon.

I would also say that schools can be quite stressful environments, even though support roles can be rewarding.

Thanks everyone. It’s so nice to get some other opinions - all the other mums I know work max 3 days a week so I don’t really have anyone that understands the pressure of full time work. My mum was a SAHM too so she is obviously encouraging me to work less.

I absolutely know in my head that staying in my current job is the sensible thing to do and I would love to work 5 shorter days when my daughter starts school but my current workplace isn’t very supportive of flexible working (of the 1000+ people employed in the country we have less than 20 part time!). The response they gave to my previous request was pretty poor too.

Ah ok, if you really think there is almost zero possibility of reducing your hours in future then I would change my advice. How about looking for a three-day per week role in a corporate environment?

Personally I found three days to be the perfect balance, ideally spread across the week.

@Aquarius93 I get it, I returned to work 4 days a week when DC was 9 months old, full time when she was 18 months.
I think a lot of it depends on how well supported you feel by your partner, whether you have a wider support network and if you can afford to outsource some stuff.
It also depends on how you want to/need to be a mum, it can be really hard to do it differently to everyone else (I also knew no one else that went back full time!) but it was the right thing for our family for me to go back and DH to put the brakes on for a bit and take a flexible position to do the nursery run, take playdates etc.
We’ve now switched things around a bit and I’m in a much more flexible role while he’s ramping up. I always felt very strongly that my DC would need me more as they got older and that seems to be playing out, I’m very much the person they want to talk to about preteen/teen stuff rather than DH, while he wax excellent at rough and tumble, imagination games, crafts etc.
All that is to say that only you know your circumstances, your children and yourself so if you can afford it, do what feels closest alignment to that.