How do I get better at networking?!

[Yuja]

I’ve fairly recently moved into the corporate space - used to work in the public sector. I like my job , but the bit I really like is about 1/3 of the job - the rest seems to be networking and stakeholder relationship building and it really does not come naturally. Ironically, presenting is part of my job so it’s not really that I don’t like talking in front of people, but just the small talk of networking makes me feel so anxious and I hate attending lunches and events. It just exhausts me even thinking about it. Thing is I’m on a fixed contract and I like the company culture - id like to get a contract extension and eventually progress but I’m going to have to find a way to improve at this to stand a chance! Any tips from good networkers?

I used to hate it too. But the more you do it the better you get. Join something like BNI, FSB or toastmasters and you will learn great techniques or even just look at some of their videos. There are also tutorials on LinkedIn learning

In a drinks party situation, look out for who else is alone and talk to them.

have 3 or 4 stock questions that can get a conversation going. What brings you here? Have you worked there long? That sort of thing.

after the event, write down the names of any relevant contacts and if possible, a memorable fact or grab a photo online. This will be your crib sheet. Then before the next event, review your crib sheet and remember who you want to talk to. If you can greet someone saying “how are you? And how was the holiday in Portugal? …” that makes a stronger connection. But no one remembers this stuff spontaneously. You need a secret crib sheet!

Thank you for the tips! Crib sheet sounds good. Some people just seem so easy breezy at it and I am just the worst!

It becomes far easier once you actually know people and are seeing the same faces again.

Do you use LinkedIn?

I have LinkedIn but I’m not great on that either

Collect the wallflowers at events! I find networking really hard, I’m an introvert by nature so it takes a lot of mental effort. I scan the room for others who look a bit lost/overwhelmed (tend to be stood round the edges) and go to say hello, then ask 1 of a few stock questions to get started. Most people seem quite happy that they didn’t have to do the approaching.
The other method is to find a very chatty person and let them talk at you for a bit, but I find that harder 🤣
Linkidin ‘networking’ is mostly bollocks unfortunately, unless you are in the job market or a Sales person most connections are pointless. Also beware how much data you give over to the platform, they do sell your data, including phone numbers

Right, you need to get proactive on there! Connect with all your colleagues and friends, then begin searching for anyone whom you talk to at these events. Also anyone in other organisations with whom you have worked on projects. You will soon find more familiar faces coming up in the ‘people you may know’ area.

People often post about events, especially if they are involved in the organisation or have been a speaker at an event: ‘What a great afternoon at the Widget Makers Association annual learning event’. You can then pop in a comment saying that you also enjoyed it or just give it a like. A little bit of regular effort will bring higher visibility and more connections.
As long as it’s sincere and stays on the right side of cheesy, I don’t see a problem. It is literally the purpose of the site.

I really don’t agree that it’s ‘pointless’! You have to tailor the platform to work for you.

I have 500+ connections and find it helpful for keeping up to date with news in my sector, possible collaboration opportunities, hearing about jobs and staying abreast of what other people are thinking and doing.

I clean my feed regularly and my connections list annually so it all stays pretty relevant.

@BadSkiingMum It is very sector dependent I suppose but LinkedIn can generate a lot of unnecessary and unwanted noise, I certainly don’t get much value from it unless I’m job hunting.
Groups and events (such as they are) are heavily London biased so are not accessible for the majority of the population, I’m certainly not going to spend over £100 on travel and cut my working day short to attend a ‘networking dinner’ at the Gherkin hosted by a random company that want me to buy things.
I attended a networking event a week or so ago with a group of similar level professionals and it was great but that didn’t come via LinkedIn

Ah you see I think the ‘noise’ can be turned down by actively fine tuning your feed: if it’s not useful I unfollow or block, as well as actively following sources that interest me. That tends to push out any rubbish over time.

Regarding events, I agree about the first situation that you describe, that doesn’t sound too helpful to someone who is already professionally employed. But there can still sometimes be a value in attending a pure business networking event, it depends on your own situation eg if you were self employed and hoping to break into a new sector. I have done it and enjoyed that kind of event. But interaction of LinkedIn with the second situation - as seems to be the case for the OP - can be quite constructive as it enables you to follow up on social interactions in a useful way.

This, but also keeping up with current "chatter" in the news.

Gives you lots of openings if you can have a chat about something current, but not controversial like Wimbledon, or whatever football tournament is currently on, or Glastonbury, or (this might depend on who you want to network with, but) what exhibition is on in your area or theatre that is making noise locally, or for a different crowd, whatever is popular on TV.

Thank you for all your advice and practical tips - most grateful. I see lots of my colleagues posting and reposting on LinkedIn - it’s popular in my industry although I just feel awkward about requesting connections or posting stuff! I’m delivering a conference over the next couple of days so I’m going to try my best to up my networking game during the breaks.

@Yuja I used the Who, What, Where, How, When format. You ask open questions around these 5 words. Most people love to talk so give them the opportunity but use your listening skills to pick up what matters to them and ask questions about that.