New start - would you say something so early on

[Herewegoagain22]

I started a new role in management around 8 weeks ago. It’s not my first time managing people but I am new to the company and still getting to know my team. The team itself is small, and the dynamic is still forming.

We had a Teams call the other day where another manager was speaking. During the call, my team members (both in their late 20s) were clearly messaging each other privately, one would type something, the other would visibly try not to laugh, and this went on for a good 10 minutes. Their body language throughout was disengaged too, heads leaning on hands, smirking, and no real interest in the discussion.

Given there were only a few people on the call, it was hard not to feel the joke was about either me or the other manager speaking. I can usually take a joke and I don’t take myself too seriously, but this felt unprofessional and honestly quite uncomfortable.

I’m torn I don’t want to overreact or rock the boat too soon, but I also believe in setting expectations around professional behaviour early on. I’d normally have a quick, informal chat about something like this and then move forward no drama, just clarity.

Would you say something at this point, or let it go? Am I being unreasonable for being a bit put off by it this early into my time here?

Yes I would say something, it’s rude and unprofessional.

Absolutely say something. You need to set the expectations for the team culture asap.

I would say something along the lines of ‘I noticed you were using your phone at lot during the recent meeting and you seemed distracted and disengaged. If you feel like you don’t have any value to add in a meeting, please let me know, I don’t want anyone’s time to feel wasted’

I would address it with them both at the same time and face to face if you can. Nip it in the bud and make your boundaries clear early on before bad behaviours and toxicity set in OP.

Call them out in the meeting. Ask what they think about topic being discussed and ask if there is anything they would like to add to the discussion? Follow up in supervision. They sound immature.

I'd be having a general conversation about online etiquette making it clear that such behaviour isn't appropriate.

You could do this in a general team meeting to get the message across or more pointedly in 121s.

Why people think they can do this with their cameras on is beyond me.

i would raise it but I’d also engage them in the meeting. If there’s only a few people surely they need to be joining in the meeting. Ask for their opinions. If it’s a regular meeting ask them what they think about the frequency/ timing of the meeting. Ask if they’ve got AOB etc so they stay on their toes. But I’d also speak to them and ask if they’d prefer meetings in person if they’re finding it hard to focus - that should make them sit up and stop being so rude

Absolutely needs to be raised it is both rude and unprofessional. If the other manager has also noticed it will reflect badly on you if you do nothing.

Yes, address it now or they'll make your life a misery going forward. I used to have teachers at school who would say things like, is this a private joke or can anyone join in? And, care to share it with the rest of us? No? Then I'm sure it can keep.

And keep a record of dates and times.

Sorry you're dealing with this, trying to manage people is mostly utterly rubbish these days but unfair the only way to progress in the workplace it seems.