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Just need to vent about work

11 replies

Anusername · 24/06/2025 21:58

I came back to work after maternity leave about a couple of weeks ago. Several things happened: 1. Reorg- team has changed dramatically. My position has not changed but several people who are more junior than me were ‘promoted’ to managers position. I am ‘demoted’ by contrast. 2. Work required everyone to be in the office full time. I talked to the new manager who outrightly rejected my flexible working arrangement.

I found both of these things very unfair. I’m one of the most trustworthy member of the team in terms of quality of the work - only received positive feedback over the years and had always been given high profile tasks. People who are promoted before me have less experiences and do not appear to be more driven (they showed up to work very late and did not take initiative to do things). I found it very hard to understand the logic behind. But I admittedly am relatively quiet and the sort of person who let their work speak. I’m also not learning much from my job. On the bright side, the stress level is not too high and I have the autonomy of doing things. Most importantly, the pay is not too bad - I am the breadwinner and need the salary.

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Zone2NorthLondon · 24/06/2025 22:13

The whys and what of someone else promotion in your mat leave absence isn’t your concern. Refrain from openly negatively opining on it. You’ll come across as being petty
Has your job title and or salary changed?
Return to mat leave can be tricky to negotiate. You need to readjust and get your work mojo back
Consider getting coaching to find your voice and be more assertive

Anusername · 24/06/2025 22:20

Zone2NorthLondon · 24/06/2025 22:13

The whys and what of someone else promotion in your mat leave absence isn’t your concern. Refrain from openly negatively opining on it. You’ll come across as being petty
Has your job title and or salary changed?
Return to mat leave can be tricky to negotiate. You need to readjust and get your work mojo back
Consider getting coaching to find your voice and be more assertive

I appreciate your reply. My job title and salary have not changed. Im already doing so much work since I’m back. And my manager trusts my work so it’s easier for him that I get them done rather than someone else. The problem is that he relies on me but doesn’t want to advocate for me for my promotion. Whilst the other junior people have a manager who’s openly advocating for them.

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Zone2NorthLondon · 24/06/2025 22:24

Ok, why won’t he advocate for you when you’re capable?
How do you progress? Is it an interview panel decision or solely on his recommendation
You said you’re quiet,does that lead him or others to underestimate your abilities?
Look at what training is on offer and what is beneficial to you

Anusername · 24/06/2025 22:44

Zone2NorthLondon · 24/06/2025 22:24

Ok, why won’t he advocate for you when you’re capable?
How do you progress? Is it an interview panel decision or solely on his recommendation
You said you’re quiet,does that lead him or others to underestimate your abilities?
Look at what training is on offer and what is beneficial to you

He is close to retiring and doesn’t really care about people’s development. There’s no real benefit for him to promote me as I’d not report to him in that case and if no practical use. It’s by recommendation only. Being quiet will make me invisible to senior management but my line manager knows I’m good.

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Zone2NorthLondon · 24/06/2025 22:53

I don’t mean to be facetious, but stop being quiet. Quiet competent. It means you’re being overlooked. Having a voice & gravitas is a necessary manage skill. It’s not a volume thing, it’s a I have a voice I’m hear thing.
look for coaching or career development to transition into capable and heard

Zone2NorthLondon · 24/06/2025 22:54

Private or public sector?
Generally what field are you in?

TeenLifeMum · 24/06/2025 22:57

Did you have the opportunity to go for promotions while on mat leave?

Anusername · 24/06/2025 22:59

TeenLifeMum · 24/06/2025 22:57

Did you have the opportunity to go for promotions while on mat leave?

sort of. I had conversations with senior management on that and the feedback was positive.

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Anusername · 24/06/2025 23:01

Zone2NorthLondon · 24/06/2025 22:53

I don’t mean to be facetious, but stop being quiet. Quiet competent. It means you’re being overlooked. Having a voice & gravitas is a necessary manage skill. It’s not a volume thing, it’s a I have a voice I’m hear thing.
look for coaching or career development to transition into capable and heard

I am indeed being overlooked. The bizzare thing is that my line manager 100% knows that I’m good, and his manager also has some visibility that I deliver. I don’t understand why this is not enough. Maybe I’m not viewed as someone who has management skills?

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TeenLifeMum · 24/06/2025 23:14

One issue is when you’re good they don’t want to lose you from the role where you’re holding everything together because training someone new is a pain. My director would like our whole team to remain in our current roles with no movement and when someone moved for a promotion she actually told them she was pissed off they would leave (for 10k extra a year!) 🙄

I think you need to be more explicit about what you want and ask what development you need to get there.

Anusername · 24/06/2025 23:45

TeenLifeMum · 24/06/2025 23:14

One issue is when you’re good they don’t want to lose you from the role where you’re holding everything together because training someone new is a pain. My director would like our whole team to remain in our current roles with no movement and when someone moved for a promotion she actually told them she was pissed off they would leave (for 10k extra a year!) 🙄

I think you need to be more explicit about what you want and ask what development you need to get there.

I think that’s what I overheard my manager saying to his management team. This is very shortsighted of them. But even if I explicitly express my interest, they choose not to act upon my request. I also felt humiliating that others are promoted before me.

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