Category for being off work - why is it so important?

[Colette]

My 20 year old dd has been involved in a serious road traffic accident last week, multiple injuries and in intensive care . I let work know why I needed to be off , whilst being sympathetic they seem insistent I name the reason in a word ! . I was finding this really difficult as I thought it was enough to say why I was off.
apparently, I need to give it a title so I’ve said stress? they are a public sector employer and are very pedantic about paperwork which is pissing me off..
was stress the best title to summarise ? As this is what I will need to tell the doctor to get a letter to cover my time off . probably shouldn’t bother me as much as it does. I’ve also got a private sector job and that has been so much more straightforward thanks . I’m not ill personally so is this the best description?

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I’d say stress too. Stress as in, you’re worried about your daughter. Stress as in, your world has just been turned upside down. Stress as in, work is stressing you out by asking you stupid questions and putting unnecessary pressure on you.

Hope your daughter will be ok x

Because if you are not actually sick, then you can't take sick leave. You would have to take annual leave, which I guess you don't want to do. So your employer is doing you a favour by allowing you to pretend to have a specific illness.
Dear Lord, they could just have told you to get back into work!

Compassionate leave?

hope your DD makes a swift recovery.

Dependent leave

wtf? Daughter in intensive care and op saying she’s not fit for work is a reason to call in sick. Some companies would allow emergency family leave or compassionate leave but no decent company would demand an employee work in these circumstances.

stress is fine op.

Thanks , for the helpful responses. I think dependent leave is only a few days . So I will probably just call it stress ,and try not to to overthink it

@Cynic17what an unhelpful, ridiculous post. Would you say the same to someone in person who told you their child was seriously unwell?

Honestly just call it stress. It’s just a word.
I’ve had a lot of time off this year for family reasons and my own ability to cope with them.
Take care of your dd and yourself. Family comes first.

Call it stress, I’m sure it’s a very stressful time and even if you physically made it in to work, you wouldn’t be well enough to be there!

The coding is important though. Contract dependent at face value this time off is likely unpaid - if they took what you said as a reason to be off you’d be screwed when you got to payday! As a manager myself I’ve encouraged people towards saying ‘stress’ or ‘mental health issues’ in situations like this in order to make sure I can get it down as sick and get them paid. Im sure they didn’t appreciate having to figure out a ‘reason’ to be off at the time, but it beats a) going down as unpaid leave, or b) me putting it down as stress and then you realising further down the line and getting annoyed I’ve ‘diagnosed’ you myself.

When I’ve had employees in a similar position, I’ve had to explain that they can have as much time off as they need.

If it’s logged as dependent/carers/ emergency/compassionate leave, they only get 5 days paid, so if they need more time than that, I suggest they speak to their GP to see if they would provide them a sick note - it is incredibly stressful when you have a loved one in hospital like this, so it seems perfectly reasonable to me.

OP, I’m sorry your manager wasn’t able to tell you that as clearly, but perhaps they were advised not to, and they were trying to find a way around it?

I do hope your daughter recovers soon.