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Went away for two weeks and now off a project and micromanagement

7 replies

yoddle · 19/06/2025 10:14

This has never happened to me before so I would appreciate some perspective. I went on leave for two weeks having started a fairly high profile piece of work.

During that period my manager was signed off for six weeks.

I came back and someone else had picked up the work in my absence, which is how we work, but I was asked not to take it back from her. She is more junior than me.

I also am working to a new manager (same manager as junior person) while mine is off. Yesterday she messaged me after I had sent an email to our more senior manager asking me to make clarifications to what I had said. They definitely didn't need to be made, what I had said was clear but new manager doesn't understand the area.

I have just come off a Teams meeting with all three (junior person, manager and senior manager) and burst into tears. I honestly feel nothing I do is right. Eg I asked about something it turned out I hadn't been copied in on and got oh I know it's early and you may not have read your emails, ie you're not across your work.

I was ill for a long time and had a phased return, for some of this I was still unwell and my performance definitely suffered. I'm completely well now and good at my job but I feel like my reputation has been trashed and I feel like this is almost bullying now.

Long post! Sorry. Just had to get it down and would love some perspective

OP posts:
marmaladeandpeanutbutter · 19/06/2025 10:18

I imagine this is about pushing along an important project rather than a criticism of the quality of your work. You were away, and your boss was away, but the work needed to continue. Try not to take it personally. Continue to be good at your job and don’t hold grudges.

Gizlotsmum · 19/06/2025 10:24

Ok. Deep breaths. They obviously have an established way of working so you need to adapt to it. With regard to the email, did they realise they hadn’t copied you in? Are they aware of this now? The clarification was the request just to you or copied to everyone? It might not have been as clear as you think. Have you had a return to work meeting with this new manager? Can you ask for a 121 meeting to help guide a way forward

yoddle · 19/06/2025 10:40

Thank you both. The clarification was just to me. This new manager isn't that experienced and I absolutely understand I need to adapt to her way of working.

Thinking about it more, what is upsetting me is the assumption that I am not across emails. I think the intention is kindness but it feels undermining, like the assumption is that I'm not keeping up and I do think I need to address this

OP posts:
yoddle · 19/06/2025 10:41

It's been so hard recovering from this bastard illness, I just want to get back to where I was and do my job

OP posts:
Gizlotsmum · 19/06/2025 12:24

yoddle · 19/06/2025 10:41

It's been so hard recovering from this bastard illness, I just want to get back to where I was and do my job

You will. If they meant it with kindness take it that way rather than them judging you. Especially when they didn’t even send it to you. I don’t always check my emails as they come in so have often been asked if I have seen it, I never take offence, there is a good chance I missed it if I was doing something else

Hercisback1 · 19/06/2025 12:32

The email thing isn't that bad. They probably were being genuine and they hadn't copied you in.

The clarification, I'd have replied "thank you for your feedback, can you please explain why this needed further clarification as I thought it was clear?" and await a response.

Are there any other examples? If you think it is bullying, keep a written log somewhere of exact quotes, times etc.

eurochick · 19/06/2025 13:50

I’m less generous than other posters. I think this is a land grab by the other manager, using her favourite.

Keep records of everything and make sure you are covering your arse in everything you do.

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