How to cope when the bosses are complete idiots but the job is flexible for childcare? Just suck it up?

[RantingAnonymously]

I don't want to give too much detail, so I'll just say that the job is not too bad compared to others I have had:

• there is no bullying and everyone is treated reasonably
• pay is average for the sector
• I have a lot of flexibility, which is really a big plus when you have kids. I don't work 9 to 5, but I can do the drop offs, go to all the recitals and activities, and then catch up on work in the evening, which wouldn't be possible in many other jobs

The main problem is that my boss, his peers and his boss are incompetent and capricious. Not capricious in the sense that they bully me or boss me around, but in the sense that today they'll decide something, the next day they'll change their mind for no reason, they often push for solutions and strategies and projects which are just wrong, etc.

Basically the business could do twice as well if management knew what they were doing.

So for me the stress is the unpredictability of it all: I may do two almost identical things one month apart, but one gets killed for no reason. Or they want to do something which makes no sense, and I have to spend weeks explaining to them why we cannot do it. Or I am asked something which is simply impossible, but explaining why that is is a mission.

This is not something they do with me only; sex or gender or age have nothing to do with it. There are quite a few people in my situation who are fed up but struggle to find another job.

My dilemma is: if I didn't have kids I'd leave right away. But, with kids, the flexibility is a huuuge plus. I have done a few interviews, they didn't quite work out, but none would have offered me the same flexibility.

Have you ever been in the same situation?
Do you put with bosses you dislike because the job is reasonably flexible?

Yes! I'm doing it now
Place is a shambles but I can ignore it all
Worth it for the time being imo

Tbh if they’re not bullying, unkind, toxic people (and they don’t seem to be) I’d stay for the flexibility.

It is frustrating and inconvenient when management are mediocre, but that’s not something that would push me out of a job with plenty of flex.

Correct - they are not bullying, unking, nor toxic.

Maybe the only concern is that some of their bad decisions have pissed off other companies and other people internally and externally.

It's a small world.

So at some level my fear is: will this ever impact me and my reputation? Will people externally think: "that's the person in that team which made that colossal screw up" or will they think "the boss was an idiot but that person was OK"

Sounds like every place I ever worked, and I just retired.

I have a weirdly identical situation. Flexibility and salary are keeping me there, but day to day it's so deeply frustrating and unsatisfying to be spending more energy putting out fires than making progress. It's killing the culture of the organisation and creating a them/us rift between the exec and the staff body. I walk a tightrope between trying to sound sufficiently constructive and positive about the latest mad dictat while heading it away from the cliff, and keeping the BAU wheels turning in my area.

In my case, it's not an option to take the flex and deliver the goods without worrying much about the madness. I'm senior-ish and expected to front each week's new initiative with an increasingly disillusioned and rebellious team. So I'm applying for jobs, with a heavy heart.

My boss annoys me a great deal of the time.

But my job suits me. I work great hours and can change them to suit. I get great annual leave.

no job is perfect.if there us no bulying and you enjoy the job itself and the perks then my only advice is what someone told me years ago. And it was the best professional advice I have ever received.

Learn how to manage your manager. Don't fight them. See how to manage your situation. It takes time but if you are reasonably intelligent you will be able tobdo it

The point about managing your manager is very true.

I have cone to think it's a bit like speaking to someone in a cult or to a religious zealot: he has his beliefs and no amount of evidence will convince him of the contrary.

So I know that I will never convince him to do certain things, and I know he won't be receptive to the "look how well it's working out for them" argument.

What gets me is the tantrums. Like he tells us to work on a project and then decides to kill it after 2 months and then next week he's like: "maybe, actually, we should do it".

It's not just my own frustration, it's the fact that this makes me lose credibility internally and externally.

But the flexibility with children is invaluable. Invaluable. I don't know of any peers working a similar job elsewhere who have that. It truly does make a world of difference.