Go part time or leave (NHS)

[IceQueenoftheWest]

Hello wise ones, looking for somevviews and opinions if possible pls.

I work in a middle management non-clinical NHS job doing I guess what could be called meaningful work. I actually transferred into this team from another department doing something completely different, so it's a bit of a career change. It's fine, my boss is a total workaholic and it's quite full on at the moment but once I get more up to speed I think it will be easier.

But, but.... I've realized that even changing teams, I'm not passionate about the NHS, certainly not in the way some of my colleagues are, or my boss who absolutely lives and breathes what they do.. I think the NHS is dysfunctional, toxic at times,It's almost impossible to make a meaningful difference because you are a tiny cog in a massive machine, and my passion is not healthcare. It never has been and it never will be, and this was a job I sort of fell into, it certainly wasn't a career choice.

I am even doubtful that the NHS is a force for good anymore. Having been both a patient and a staff member a really don't have any faith in this organisation. Staff work bloody hard there's no doubt about that, I just don't have any hope the NHS project will work out long term, political interference, money, disorganised, so many reasons.

Anyway the long and short of it is what do I do next. I've indicated that I might like to drop down to about three and a half days a week and I think this may be doable in a few months once I'm up to speed.

The alternative is just to jack in the NHS entirely and have a totally fresh start. Mum died recently and I'm really considering what I want from life, she left me some money so I'm going to fortunate position where I could have probably afford to retrain for a short while, or take on some sort of apprenticeship in a field I am passionate about.

Money would definitely be tight though, and if I stayed on part-time would that be the best of both worlds? so having four days to myself and three at work each week.

If you were or ever have been in my position what decision would you go with?

Thanks

Just to add if I stayed on it really would only be for the money there wouldn't be a huge amount of enjoyment

I think you need to find other motivators for your work unless it’s out and out toxic.

So for a long time I didn’t really embrace what my employer did (engineering company) but it worked for me at that time because it really suited our family life for me to do that.

I think going part time first would be a great idea. Spend some time with yourself thinking about what it is you truly want to do without cutting yourself off from what you’re doing now.

Also the NHS isn’t totally broken, and it’s actually not one massive monolithic organisation… It’s hundreds of smaller ones (I’ve worked in it doing similar to you by the sounds of it!). It’s underfunded and wasteful yes, but it also does some amazing work.

A good approach would be to wind one down as you ramp something else up.

Or speak to a recommended life coach to help you balance your options.

Thank you SpicedHerbalTea

No not toxic in my team, they're all really nice.

Yes the motivation is the issue isn't it. Maybe I need to make the job more real, going spend some time on the front line because I do spend most of my time behind the desk and I could be doing anything for anyone.

Yes I hear you about the many small orgs too. Thank you.

As you work in the NHS you could access free coaching from the NHS Leadership Academy.
Coaching could help you to find your "why" and to look at what alternatives might suit you. I found it so useful and it's free - make the most of it.

I’ve been through similar with the civil service. I was a civil servant for a long time (best part of 2 decades) I worked in different departments looking for that place and purpose. I tried doing training, I tried every kind of role. I got promoted numerous times.

I was waiting for that sense of purpose to come along. But the root of it was that I no longer believed in the civil service as an institution. So I’ve left, and it was the best decision. I’m now working somewhere private sector where I believe in what we’re trying to do and feel like my contribution is meaningful.