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Flat, exhausted Mum feeling lost

6 replies

SantaPawsiscomingtofrown · 07/06/2025 11:35

Morning all,

I am a lone parent with a professional career working full time in research field, but I am exhausted and hating life! My get up and go has got up and went! I want to change careers / pivot, but
A. Scared about giving up the career i worked so hard for
B. Struggling to find another role, have been applying for 18 months and not even getting to the interview stage
C. Cant move from NW as dc happy in school and family nearby
D. Petrified of losing my (amazing to me) wage of 37k.

I just feel so down and fed up, nothing is taking my interest or I can pinpoint 'Yes, I want to do that!' - i just feel I have lost myself and who i am, I am on ADs but definitely feel a fresh start is needed.

In terms of interests, i like researching things, findings things out, history, family history, really want a quiet pace of life.

Dislike - confrontation so customer sevice wouldn't be great, routine work - prefer to manage own work and flexi hours.

Does anyone have any suggestions? Or a decent kick up the bum!

Id love to take some time out as i work in a very toxic place, but petrified of not having a wage coming in or that id never get a job again, especially as im applying now and not even being shortlisted

Thank you x

OP posts:
SantaPawsiscomingtofrown · 08/06/2025 17:45

Anyone have any advice or just a virtual hug?

OP posts:
Onceacnowcsheo · 09/06/2025 00:23

Can you possibly say it is you're doing at the moment?

I don't have any particular advice, but recognised your fear: 'Scared about giving up the career i worked so hard for'. Which I did, but it had gone anyway.

We have similar interests, which makes me happy to see!

Perhaps you could share copies of your CV/cover letter with people who can give you frank feedback on how it reads. And networks/personal contacts really are everything. Who do you know through school networks etc? Friends of friends? Have you updated your LinkedIn?

SantaPawsiscomingtofrown · 10/06/2025 06:07

Hi

Thank you so much for replying, I currently work in research so aligned to my interests in a way. The whole sector is facing redundancies, increased pressures etc. And it just feels a very unhappy place to work.
Can i ask how you resolved your feelings about your career? What happened next? It is the fear that is adding more stress.
Thank you will consider reaching out to people to let them know im interested in a change.

OP posts:
Toseland · 11/06/2025 23:54

Hey, sending you a virtual hug. It's tough working and having kids. x

MrsPinkCock · 12/06/2025 08:07

Is it worth paying someone to review and strengthen your CV?

Otherwise, would a flexible working request help in the short term, to WFH or do shorter hours for example?

Onceacnowcsheo · 15/06/2025 11:54

Thanks @SantaPawsiscomingtofrown

You asked how I resolved my fears. Well... I'm still resolving them!

I was an academic, and the decision to leave happened slowly, then suddenly. It felt like a marriage where there were admittedly quite a few things to work on, disappointments, things that weren't quite right - a lot of strain but still a sense of shared commitment. But then a rupture.

My disciplinary training gave me some transferable skills, as well as leading me to read the sector in a particular way. So that was self-preserving.

But for my academic identity it felt like a bereavement, or - even more dramatically - chopping off a gangrenous arm.

What partly helped was that I had been through a process of choosing to leave or stay at the postdoc stage, with a job offer in a different sector. I chose to stay because I was pregnant, had just got a permanent post, and could see a positive future. I decided at that point that I should always make it a positive decision to stay, rather than carry on out of fear for the future.

Back then, I had a quick chat with an academic recruiter to find out how academic careers might be diversifying and whether I could ever expect to return if leaving at that point. They said that leaving for a few years could be an innovative thing to do. Getting back into a research-intensive university might be tricky, but there would possibly be routes back into the sector more broadly.

I also talked to a friend who had made the transition at mid-career stage. They said that their new career was rewarding and stimulating. They had gradually had enough of the toxic people getting worse and their good colleagues losing heart. For them, the declining value of the pension also mattered. They were very positive and encouraging about making the leap.

This time round, I had a job coach at the time I was beginning to think about whether I should start exploring options. I had also reconnected with old friends outside academia, and a couple of new friends who had superb advice - they were great sources of wisdom.

Because of them, I realised that transitions are extremely common outside HE. And that it was foolish to think that I had any immunity to precarity, just because I'd won permanent posts and previously done well. The traditional professions are all in upheaval.

I also felt strongly that many academic colleagues and friends had/have too much false hope - and that the careers they were going to end up having would be much poorer than those they had been led to expect. We would not get to do research we cared about. Or even teaching that we cared about, for that matter. That we had much less control over the content of their research and teaching than we realised.

The other thing that helped was making a commitment to myself to carry on the research projects I really care about - which I am.

It was devastating; and I've spent hours railing at the unfairness of the structures, assumptions and individual decisions made by others. And I still have occasional days of extreme sadness and questioning. But the sense of loss is getting less and there are fewer sad days. I'm also doing challenging work with a team of people that I actively wanted to join - meeting them and realising I liked them, would enjoy working with them and learning from them - made a big difference. It's good to go into work and see people looking happy and valued.

tl;dr: take advice, keep your eyes clear and open, know your value.

And if you choose to stay, which is entirely reasonable, make it a positive decision to stay. Make it work for you!

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