In a bit of a pickle, can anyone advise?

[VeriteAmmalie]

I am in an unusual situation.
I was self employed for 20 yrs, although have no immediate transferable skills. My business slowly died and I spent a lot of time and investment trying to bring it back to life.
Was also in a long term relationship, which hasn't worked out, so am also now single at 50.
We owned a small flat, after selling it several yrs ago for peanuts I have been struggling to survive on my savings from that, and spent 4 years caring for my mother prior to her passing.

Money has now run right down.
I am left with no permanent address, no social connections and a hopeless, dead relationship. I am currently living with ex and need to move out. I need to start afresh.

But have no idea how. I would love to find some kind of advice, but don't know where to go. I thought the CAB but feel it may not be the right fit for them?

I want to move away from this town and find some basic work to get on my feet, but would have to find a place to rent first. I would not have a guarantor (at all!) but have some savings left to pay rent up front initially. I would also have to cobble together a CV.

Forgive me for how dreadful and stupid this sounds, I feel shamed to have placed faith in the wrong person, and made some decisions that I can't go back in time to fix. My relationship was emotionally abusive and has taken a great toll on me, especially after dealing with grief too. I feel that I am in a terrible position and am paralysed like a rabbit in headlights.

What to attack first?
Any advice appreciated, please be kind, I am pretty much feeling crushed to death with stress.

That does all sound really hard OP. Is there a town you would like to move to? In your position I would pick an area first (taking care to look at local job opportunities and transport links etc), then I would look to be a lodge or a house share first, as that will be cheaper upfront and gives you an opportunity to try out a new area before committing. Look on Spare Room as a start, and you will probably find quite a few women looking for lodgers (I have done this before and it works fine in the short term). While doing that start working on your CV, there are lots of resources available online (look at websites like Reed for CV templates), and start putting applications together. You should be able to support yourself even on minimum wage if you are happy to house share or be a lodger at least at first.

As the priority is finding somewhere to live, you might want to look into being a property guardian where you stay in a disused office, hotel etc. for a reduced rent or even for free. https://global-guardians.co.uk/guardians/ is one, but there are many. It pay also be worth looking into pet/house sitting but this would not be long term. If you can drive, there will always be delivery work and I know a lot of people have used it to tide themselves over. It must seem really tough right now, but I'm sure it will get better. Wishing you lots of luck.

Thanks so much.

I have been out of the workplace for so long that I do't even know how to start putting that together

I would like to move to the lake district as lived there many years ago and find it a good fit for me. It would be only slightly more expensive than where i am now (ribble valley Lancs) and would be happy to share in a safe/professional space or rent a tiny flat. I would take what work I could to begin with, and worry about my future later. I have plans for what I would like to do eventually, but right now I need to get settled.

I only hear awful news about the rental market so this has paralysed me quite a bit. How could I compete, currently, with a more lucrative potential tenant!?

I just don't know where to find info and the web feels worse - rightmove is utterly useless. I wondered if visiting agents personally might be a good idea but who knows.

Another issue is that I don't currently drive, and if I picked that back up I cant afford to run a vehicle until working.

You must have some skills if you were self employed for 20 years? I appreciate you don't want to out yourself but if you can give us an idea of what kind of work you used to do, we can maybe suggest some new industries to consider?

But off the top of my head if you ran your own business, you likely have experience with client relationships, purchasing and invoicing, customer records management, general day to day admin, maybe some marketing and social media?

I would start with the job first - I would look for the sort of work that you might be interested in - because if you decide what you want to do, then you can start looking in areas where there are those jobs with a view to moving there. The otherway round makes no sense in your situation because of your flexibility and your need for income. There is no point in thinking that you want to live in Bournemouth by the sea if there are no jobs there for you.

Sorry for the loss of your mother.

It might not be ideal or really what you want to do now but if you have experience as a carer, there are lots of jobs for live in carers that come with accomodation - through agencies this is more 1-2 weeks on/1-2 weeks off - but private arrangements and jobs like housekeeper etc can be permenant live in.

It's just a thought as a stop gap it would kill two birds with one stone - get you out of your accomodation and earning. These kind of thing:
https://jobs.lady.co.uk/jobs/any/?sector=6039&over

Some towns have “work clubs” think the local church hall here had one. Often volunteers who help people just like you to find their feet again. Once you have found where you want to live the local Facebook pages often have loads of information. Good luck.

Thank you.

I feel stuck because I don't know what to attack first. It would be great if I could find a real life advice centre or org to chat with, I think.
I could really do with speaking to someone about creating my CV.

Alternatively, and this sucks, my ex has offered me time to stay living with him until on my feet, meaning I could get a job here and save up/drive, etc.

I don't like this, it isn't at all healthy, but it is an option for desperate measures!
There is no relationship left, but we do have a basic decency towards each other and he would not see me without a roof over my head.

Which is more sensible?
If I leave quickly, I will lose most of what is left of my savings. If I stay and work I could save more and leave later.

I just don't know, and feel so miserably trapped:(

I am not really looking for specific job ideas as yet, I need more practical info about creating my CV and how to apply.

I am open to anything apart from food and caring, neither would suit me at all. I will make a note of the suggestions here, so thank you for sharing ideas.

Agree, get the job sorted first. The rest will follow and you must have lots of transferable skills - be confident and back yourself. Sorry to hear about your troubles, a poor relationship can set you back in so many ways and stops clarity of thought. Best of luck.

Yes, after a discussion with my ex (who I am staying with, god forbid) he suggested getting a job here first then moving later. It would be easy for me to save and plan a less stressful departure.

It is a horrible idea because I hate it here and am severely depressed, but could end up more depressed if I take a random leap.

I just don't know.

What about working in hospitality with live in accommodation? Have a look at National Careers Service. They are able to offer advice on putting together a CV. Also check with your local library. A couple in our area run a once a week job club which help people with applications etc. You don't need to be claiming benefits to attend.

When it's a lot, you got to take it step by step. First, the resume.

As @katmarie suggests, if you have run your own business for 20y, you must have some transferrable skills somewhere in there.

Once you have the key facts, I am not a big fan usually, but using an AI could really help you generate quickly a professional CV, at least for a start. It can also give you plenty of info and advice about job hunting, identifying your skills, etc.

You can have this done in a few hours, I promise, best to you.

Thank you.
I am happy to pay for help with the CV and for some short term advice, just no idea where to ask.
I will try the local CAB to see where they point me this week.

It is true that having a plan does help, at present it is al so very overwhelming.

I would be happy to start with a live-in job, will find some more info on that.

@VeriteAmmalie definitely look at the National Careers Service. https://nationalcareers.service.gov.uk

They can help you do a skills audit and identify potential careers and training.