Feeling shit about handing in notice

[poppetandmog]

I’ve just been offered a new job and need to hand my notice in on Monday. I wasn’t actively looking - I quite like my current job and am well respected there - but I happened to see my absolute dream role advertised when someone shared it on LinkedIn and I couldn’t not apply. I never expected to actually get it and am still in shock. It’s for an amazing organisation with a lot more responsibility/influence and a huge pay rise.

The reason I feel so shit about it is that I’m only back at work a few weeks ago after 2 months of sick leave. I had a big operation (major abdominal surgery) and work have been great about it, letting me take as much time as I need and phase back to full time. I know me leaving will be a huge shock to them and the timing is crap. It’s also quite a specialist role that will be hard to fill. This is such an amazing opportunity, I can’t turn it down, but I feel so awful about doing this to my current employer. They will also think I was looking while on sick leave (not the case at all, but timing looks dodgy.) Any words of wisdom much appreciated.

Sometimes overwhelming guilt can be our guts saying something?
Sorry.

It can be tragic to leave a good employer and go toward the unknown.

That’s rather dramatic!

Congratulations, and I agree with lots of posters here. Just tell them what you've told us, do all you can to keep your move easy as possible for them, leave on good terms and keep in touch - there may be an initial shock and some disappointment, but that's natural, and most people are human and will be happy for you. Make sure your contracts are water-tight at the new place and they go and enjoy.

Thanks so much everyone. You’ve all reassured me. I am a people pleaser and always hate inconveniencing people, but this is such an amazing opportunity that really doesn’t come up very often. It’s also a move away from client facing work and after a couple of really stressful years, I just feel done with that. I think the reason I feel particularly guilty is that the role I currently do is done only by me (until a new person is recruited, the work just won’t get done) and with a 3 month notice period being common in my industry, there will be little to no handover. I’ll obviously make sure I provide solid handover/process notes. I’m sure I’ll feel better once it’s done. Thanks again!

Hand in your notice and explain your reasons. They’ll get over it … it’s work, not personal.

I wouldn’t give it headspace OP, we are just lines on a spreadsheet. If they needed to get rid of you, they would without a second thought.

You got a better offer so go for it.

If it was the other way round and they had to make redundancies, do you think their feeling for you would stop them going ahead with it?

no, I didn’t think so.

This is classic "let them". Yes, they will be annoyed, sad to see you go, frustrated with the timing. They're allowed to feel that way, let them have those feelings. You're being totally reasonable, behaving in accordance with your contract and doing what everyone does throughout life when they get promoted/find a new role. You're entitled to do what you're doing, to feel excited by it. They're entitled to be disappointed you're leaving. Allow everyone to just be with those realities. It's not your responsibility to keep everyone happy, or to ensure they're OK, or your boss is excited for you. Don't take those issues on, they're your workplaces issues and you don't need to worry about them. It's hard and I think there's something uniquely female about feeling like we can't have anyone think badly about us, or cause anyone any issues - but you can, you're doing you, it's great for you, congratulations:-)

I just wanted to thank everyone who has posted, providing support. I handed in my notice this morning and although I did feel horrible about it and was so anxious, they were really nice about it and understood the reasons why. I’m so glad it’s done now.

Well done @poppetandmog I'm glad that steps over and was better than you expected 😊