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I'm not 100% Comfortable but my manager wants to share my pregnancy news.

2 replies

taapel · 19/05/2025 17:46

I was given an opportunity to take on a colleagues work because they are pregnant. My manager told me they had two options 1) to hire someone or 2) pass on some of her work to me. Lawfully, i think i had every right to take the opportunity and not tell my manager i'm pregnant too. I didn't want to tell anyone at work before we told our family and friends. Besides i've not had the best experience with the company i'm working for. Then my manager advises they will have to inform their boss because they may question the option to hire when I have the same qualifications/skills of my colleague's. Immediately, my thinking was just tell them that i would like to carry on with what i am currently doing. To persuade me further my manager tells me that if we don't share with their manager that the other manager in the team will misinterpret and send me more of the work she'd like me to do. I told my manager i'm not 100% comfortable sharing with their manager and i said i know i don't have share until 15 weeks before due date. To which my manager's response was "you shared" with a smile. I shared with them because i thought i could trust them and i was being nice. They have also known i've been going through fertility treatment since starting with this new company.

I thought it was quite generous of me to tell my manager that i was pregnant (before i really wanted to share) so she could go for the hiring option. But I'm shocked how pushy they are being and how they also threw it back in my face. This same manager was so kind, supportive, trusting and respectful before we moved to this new company.

Now i feel like i'm being awkward or ungrateful and although i'm not 100% comfortable with my manager sharing with their manager i should please them. The other part of me is mad because the way i keep getting treated in this company.

Any thoughts? Any advise would really be appreciated.

OP posts:
CopperWhite · 19/05/2025 17:53

I don’t know the law but it seems a bit unfair to want it both ways. If you want to hide your pregnancy then it’s up to you to either do the work, be honest about why you can’t, or come up with another valid reason why you can’t. You are putting your boss in a difficult position for no point. Your bosses boss isn’t about to start telling your friends and family.

It’s not generous of you to tell your boss if there’s work she could reasonably expect you to do if you weren’t pregnant. It’s basic common sense, for your own and your baby’s benefit.

TinyTempest · 19/05/2025 17:56

It’s not generous of you to tell your boss if there’s work she could reasonably expect you to do if you weren’t pregnant. It’s basic common sense, for your own and your baby’s benefit.

This ^^

'Generous' is a strange word to use.

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