Did I do anything wrong here?

[AirborneElephant]

Background: I manage a team. Our work is “project” based, so people get assigned to a number of projects. The leadership team (international) meet bi-weekly to discuss workload and allocations. The projects in this story are all equally “prestigious”.

Onto the issue. A few months ago one of my team told me she was pregnant. I did all the usual HR stuff, sent her the various policies, asked her if she needed any adaptations, all good. I didn’t tell anyone as it is obviously confidential, other team members didn’t mention it so I assumed she wanted to wait a while. A couple of weeks ago she started wearing a baby on board badge on her jacket. Not particularly discretely, she will walk in with it on, leave the jacket on the back of her chair with the badge showing ect. Great, I thought, she’s clearly now told people.

So at this week’s meeting I suggested she should not be on project A, as it finishes after her due date. Instead I suggested she should be on B which finishes earlier. One of the overseas LT then contacted her after the meeting to congratulate her on the pregnancy. She was furious with me and accused me of breaking her confidence.

I’m not worried about the legal HR side, I had an emergency meeting with HR yesterday and they are happy both that the information was no longer confidential and that in any case I used it in a way that was entirely legitimate. But I’m stewing over it. I normally have a really good relationship with my team so this blindsided me. Did I do anything wrong here or should I chalk this one up to pregnancy worries / hormones?

I wouldn't worry from a work point of view, I'd approach this as I would a friend. "Oh Janet, I'm really sorry, I assumed you'd told people as you've been wearing your badge. Didn't mean to cause upset" and then move on.

But no, I don't think you've done anything wrong.

Based on common sense, you’re not being UR, and I understand that you’d feel annoyed.

however, from a HR point of view (and I’d dispute their interpretation that it was ‘no longer confidential’), you’re wrong.

You should have checked with the employee that she was happy for her pregnancy to be mentioned in this context, and explain why (the legitimate work discussion). It’s not relevant about the ‘baby on board’ badge.

If she’d had some issue with this, you would then have needed to explain why, and involve HR as needed.

I know most people wouldn’t have any issue with you doing as you did, but strictly correctly, you should have discussed it with her first.

now, you need to acknowledge this while also pointing out to her the practical reason why you did it.

I agree with above. If you’ve are wearing a badge it suggests that you are happy for people to know.

Thank you, that’s pretty much what I did but she still seemed upset. I hope there’s nothing bad going on that I’m not aware of.

It ‘suggests’ but you can’t base actions around matters of confidentiality on ‘suggestions’. You have to be sure, if you are in a management role.

People are odd, so you have to be careful

Of course the badge is relevant!
She’s literally wearing a badge that announces the fact that she’s pregnant.
The dogs in the street can see it. Claiming it’s a confidential fact is utter lunacy.

What a minefield the workplace is with all these precious types. She’ll be the first woman ever to have had a baby, nightmare.

OP she’s wearing a badge fucking advertising her “status”. Of course you did nothing wrong.

Thank you, it’s good to have another HR view. Our HR were quite definite that I didn’t need permission to bring it up in a legitimate context, so it’s interesting this must be a slightly grey area. I will talk to her one to one next week and find out how she would like the issue treated going forward.

I don’t necessarily want to label her a precious nightmare just yet, up to now she has been a very solid employee which is one reason this threw me so much. I’m reassured that most people would not have reacted that way, so we’ll have a talk on Monday and see where we go from there.

You moved her off project A due to her pregnancy and informed her of this in a public way in a meeting of her peers?

And you dont see the problem with that?

Sorry to point out the simple fact that that is not good management culture.

I know I can be poor at interperson management and can see the problem. As this went whoosh over your head and you needed emergency legal support I suggest you need some training.

@Annascaul from an employment law perspective, the badge isn’t relevant. Absolutely agree with you that from an actual common sense, ‘man/woman in the street’ perspective it is!

But workplaces & people in them are often strange & in that context, the discussion to establish sharing personal information is needed.

Im sorry but what is a “baby on board” badge lol… if anyone is publicly wearing a badge saying that then they are keen for people to know they are pregnant.

She sounds like a diva.

That doesn’t sound like what happened at all

No, she assigned her to a project that she can actually complete.

You think good management is setting unachievable targets?

It doesn’t sound like you brought up the pregnancy to discriminate or out her or any bad intent. It sounds like you were assigning projects and this seemed like a sensible option.

Did I do anything wrong here or should I chalk this one up to pregnancy worries / hormones?

I don’t think you should chalk it up to hormones, that seems patronising. She hasn’t announced her pregnancy (which is ridiculous if she’s walking around wearing a badge 🤦‍♀️) so she’s obviously annoyed/upset you’ve disclosed this

Sorry - I agree with this. To my mind the really relevant issue was not the confidentiality or not in terms of the pregnancy, but the fact that you suggested allocating work based on her pregnancy and did so very publically without explaining / discussing this first. Surprising that a site full of women didn't go to that fact first. On purely technical grounds, allocating work based on pregnancy could be deemed discrimination. That might not be where she has gone with this - but you are lucky it isn't because that would have been a problem for you. What you suggested might be a sensible approach, but you left her absolutely no route to think about or discuss it before saying it in an open meeting.

I manage a team.
one of my team

The leadership team (international) meet bi-weekly to discuss workload and allocations.

So at this week’s meeting I suggested she should not be on project A, as it finishes after her due date. Instead I suggested she should
be on B which finishes earlier.

I’m not worried about the legal HR side, I had an emergency meeting with HR yesterday

What did I miss?

No. Good management would be discussing it with someone before announcing it it a public way. Lots of things can happen in the process of a project being delivered - people can not complete their own part in it for all sorts of reasons, or their circumstances can change. Not making public assumptions and not sharing your thinking about an individuals role with them before announcing it is good management.

You moved her off project A due to her pregnancy and informed her of this in a public way in a meeting of her peers?

It doesn’t sound like they moved her off a project, they were assigning projects. It’s not unreasonable to select one of the options that doesn’t run past her due date for the one to work on.

You are missing the point that it is unreasonable to say that in a public meeting without discussing it first with the individual. What if they wanted to work on project A? And the reason they were refused that option is because they are pregnant? That is discrimination. The wise method would be to discuss the options and your thinking as a manager first before telling everyone that you won't be allocating the pregnant person to project A because they are pregnant.

No, she assigned her to a project that she can actually complete.
But not in a professional way.

Whats to say the person who gets project A will not quit or be hit by a bus or has a big holiday booked which may push the project out.

Good management would be saying that the employee is not available or has no capacity over the dates in question not giving a detailed description of why the employee is not going to be on project A

This^^

Exactly. Wtf wears something like that at work ever when they're pregnant? You would only wear that to say "Look at me".

You should have checked with her before announcing it. It’s what a good manager would do. It may appear to be public information but it’s still her personal information and you should have checked with her first.

Whist I agree with what you are saying, she wouldn’t be there to complete the project because it runs past her due date. So for that reason it does make sense to put her on project B. Maybe Op knows how the selection process works and people might not get a choice which project they are allocated despite if they have a preference or not