Can't afford to go into office more

[GreenFressia]

So I hybrid work and I want to go into the office more because its better for my mental health but I can't really afford it. What would you do?

Not to drip feed but want to give full context.

I'm not in a hugely high paid sector and it was difficult to afford to get a mortgage so I moved further away. A higher paid role is not an option at the moment.

This meant higher commuting costs but I didn't have a car so carried on with it.

We then had the pandemic and everything changed to hybrid working. At the time my office was pretty crap (no one was ever in), so I bought a car with some of the commute savings so I could have more of a social life.

In reality I got a loan to get the car so that's eaten up some funds for social activities. Moreover we had a big rise in lots of costs so basically my mortgage and bills are higher.

I've now changed jobs to a much better role with a much better office. I think what I'd prefer to do is just pay for a full time commuter ticket and have a fixed routine of going to the office.

But I just can't afford it unless I either a) Don't save anything b) Don't take out the work pension c) Sell the car. I have to do one of these options to afford the full time commute.

I can't move house because of cladding issues so can't sell atm, and I wouldn't be able to afford to buy nearer work. I could move somewhere slightly less isolated but that's not an option anytime soon. I can't rent my property out for valid reasons which I don't want to explain.

The only other option might be to do a version of option a) I.e. the full time commute ticket for say, three months, and just try and save a little with good budgeting, then reassess.

At the moment my mental health is struggling because I actually just don't like the inconsistency of hybrid working. I want to be in the office 4 days a week which is the cost of a full time ticket.

I feel like I go round in circles with my mental health and stress and I know it's because I'm in the vicious cycle of trying to get out of debt (car loan, credit card).

WWYD?

For the moment, stop saving. How long until the car is paid off? Once the car is paid for, you can use that money to save again.

Can you get a season ticket loan from work to reduce your costs?

Thats actually not a bad suggestion. I'd save about £50 a month doing that.

Would cost £124 a month extra with the saving, which is only about £30 more a week.

I just can't cope with the constant chop and change routine and decision of do I go in today or not - I always feel better for going in but sometimes feel too overwhelmed to go in which is a downward cycle I.e. making a bad choice to not go in.

Ask for an annual season ticket. Commit to going in every day from 2 June to 2 September.

See how you feel.

If it’s good, then keep going. If not, then get a refund on the ticket.

Alternatively check if you can get the kind of ticket that allows you to buy 10 tickets get 1 free, or a three day a week ticket - I don’t know if these exist, I’m just guessing - and commit to Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday every week for three months.

You might have to kid yourself you have to go in, but if you’re spending the extra money that might be enough incentive.

What is that you’re struggling with in terms of your mental health? Have you been diagnosed with anything? Or you taking medication or using any types of therapy? If not then I would going down that route to help first of all. Waiting lists are high though, round my area it’s up to three months. It was a lot longer than this.

I would also work out which is cheaper in terms of affording a car and all the costs which is associated with that or a travel pass. Will you need the car for anything else other than commuting? I just would be concerned that you might need it to get to the shops or out about. Of course plenty of people use public transport all the time? Could you sell the car and get a cheaper one?

I'm all for lying to myself, it generally works quite well as I'm quite trusting 😂

I'm not sure I'm eligible yet as think I need six months in the role and not quite yet there, but I think I'll do a monthly in the meantime.

I've done one of those passes. I actually only ended up using 2/3 of it within the month which goes to show how many days I'm choosing not to go in. It creates a sort of 'rationing' mentality, then my brain is always thinking oh maybe there's a saving of something to be made by not going in.

Own worst enemy and in reality I'm honestly much better when forced through having made the commitment and then just habit reinforcement.

Thanks you've really helped as was feeling quite despondent!

Don’t stop the pension payments - your employer is paying into it as well. Could you do away with the car and use your bus pass? Or for more awkward journeys use uber - would that be cheaper overall than car loan/servicing/MOT/road tax etc?

I have loneliness 😂 I like to talk to people I know every day I.e. face to face.

I live alone in an area where there isn't much going on. I very quickly get low if I don't see people, I don't mean talking in a supermarket or being around people in the gym or a chat in an exercise class - that's all good but I mean mental stimulation of being in different environments and interacting with people over time.

I've tried antidepressants and they made me tired all the time - I gave them a go over several months.

I recently had therapy for trauma and was v beneficial hence m wanting to push myself more and move forward .

The car helps with shopping, driving to local gym, days out . Buses would be okay for short local but quite time consuming on top of working week. It's not a super expensive car (7k second hand) but know it is reliable.

I try not to think about it too much as I think I've just made crap choices about where to live and am stuck but know it won't be forever so trying to stay positive.