New job about to start - are these hints that they're not flexible?

[Lunasma]

I start a new job in two weeks, a small firm of 35. I'll be one of their seniors and i'll have one direct report. When i interviewed, their HR said they do hybrid working, and it says so on their Careers page online. They knew i had a young child and that i had previously done 4 days at my old job and would be moving to 5 for them.

When she offered the job, i checked and she said people do 'no more than 2 days' at home, the rest in office. Fine. Seems like a good balance.
But in the last week, i've had a few emails to say they're expecting me to be in office 5 days, and if I need to have Fridays at home, they'll have to 'consider' it and reshuffle projects.

Is it unreasonable of me to feel a teensy bit like the rug is getting pulled from beneath me? There was no suggestion, explicitly, when the interview process was happening that they expected 5 days in office. i checked. So why roll it back now?

Do i give them the benefit of a doubt and assume the MD just wants me there 5 days in the beginning for onboarding, or is this a bit of a flag? I know there are some other parents there too. I guess i don't know how to not feel a bit jittery now. If you have any tips on how to set boundaries in those early days without either looking tooootally inflexible/ obstinate but also ensuring i don't people-please let me know.
(sorry, my Caps i key isn't working; thanks to toddler mushing yoghurt into my laptop...)

It could be that this is for on boarding, but I'd definitely ask.

"At interview I was told this is a hybrid post with the option for 2 days per week wfh, please confirm this is the case"

I've just left a job where a similar message was given at interview, but once there it became clear that the leadership really hated anyone wfh.

Yes, check now, that's perfectly reasonable, but you will need to decide what to do if they do insist on 5 days in the office. Is it a long commute?

It's not a long commute, about 40 mins on the train direct. But that obviously still makes pick-up and drop-off a maths equation even though yes, DH will share. I was grateful for the hybrid option too as daughter starts primary in autumn next year ('26). I can't imagine collecting her when I'm rushing back on a train 5x days.
@Dvdlove may I ask how you figured that out? I suspect similar. Could be being paranoid. Did you get the vibe early on and did you talk it out with them?

C**ping my pants i've made a big mistake. And it's a consultancy-office job, it's not like I need to be in the office with equipment or anything - it's perfectly doable from home except for meetings.

Where I work our policy is 2 days at home and 3 in the office, but for new starters we ask them to do 5 days in the office each week for at least the first 2 weeks. I would definitely check now.

I'd definitely check now whether they just want you in the office for 5 days to start with or it's the normal expectation.

In a previous job (similar office based consultancy type job) all recruitment info made a big thing about flexible working/reduced hours contracts/wfh etc. In the recruitment process the standard line was that this was encouraged and work was 'a thing you do, not a place you go to'. In reality, flexible working was at the discretion of each department head and most were very reticent to agree to anyone regularly wfh or anything other than being in the office 24/7.

Make sure you contact HR and remind them of what was offered at interview and ask for it to be written in your contract.

My current employer said at the interview stage (post covid) that the whole department worked remotely and that I would only be expected to come in for quarterly staff meeting.

Six months later they asked me to be in the office once a week which I refused to do as I live over 2 hours away (each way) and as this is a part-time job it makes no financial sense if I have to commute. I would not have taken the job if they had been honest at the interview stage so from now on I will make sure that working patterns are clearly defined in my contract.

The other thing to check assuming some WFH is going to be allowed is how much choice you would get about which days were WFH and would you be allowed a regular pattern. Also would you be able to do the school run and catch up later or not. There was no WFH when my DCs were that age and it was a huge PITA getting back on time for pick up, even worse once they started school as wraparound ended earlier than nursery.

Settle in, get the job done, prove your worth and let your husband take up the slack for a while.... then share the load more fairly between you.

Buy childcare if you need to... and then leverage the flexibility.

Definitely worth checking. It could be that they want you in the office for the first few weeks only, but my first thought was that they want to ensure you’re not working at home without childcare in place, hence the change to only on Fridays, if approved.

thanks, i think they know I do have childcare in place as one day when an interview was at 5:30pm hr asked if it was ok because of nursery pick-up.
Think you're right about proving my worth @parentingrollercoaster - I guess it's about building trust since to them, I'm an unknown quantity right now.
If anyone has any tips for wording, in terms of setting out my stall re drop-off days, please shout. I want to come across excited and willing but also not like I'm going to let my boundaries slip as I know you need to set the tone early.

I’d check too.
it depends how you discussed the requirement to work flexibly with them - I might be careful about suggesting you need/want to work from home due to the school run as it implies you’re doing that on work time. Working parents do need usually to organise wraparound childcare too unless companies are ok with you logging back on later to finish work. I totally agree that wfh is much more productive in terms of work life balance I’m just highlighting that some employers may be frosty with the idea that you’ll be unable to work eg 3-4pm as you’ll be out/organising a young child. Sorry if this isn’t the case, I just see it a lot on MN since the pandemic but you still have to be working your contracted hours and available during that time unless you’ve got that agreement upfront. Your new place already doesn’t sound super flexible… hope it works out for you OP.

Might be worth remembering that you are the employee, not the employer. They will have a flexible/WFH policy that you need to adhere to. Your interview was your opportunity to ask questions about this - it wasn’t the time to make assumptions. Of course you should seek clarity if something is unclear and you can explain that you have received mixed messages. But their policy is the boundary. It’s certainly not up to you to ‘set boundaries’.

Personally I think I would start the job, build that trust and then approach the conversation. At the moment you're an unknown, going into a small company and raising this as an issue may raise questions - when in reality once you're in the job and working raising this will have far less impact. I think it's quite difficult for anyone to give guidance on wording because something like this will depend on both the company you're joining and the role.
I work in a professional role and a colleague in our team asked for hybrid working to be written into their contract - they were told no. When in reality they can easily wfh 2 or 3 days a week

This.

Unless one is extremely sought-after, it’s the employer that sets the boundaries, not the employee.

What hours were you planning to work to accommodate school runs?

I’d check. And whilst generally I think it’s fine to settle in, prove yourself etc, I don’t think that applies here if they’ve lied about the wfh arrangement. If they’ve misled you, that’s a red flag more than just not being able to wfh.
I got a new job recently and several companies had internal recruiter/HR people who told me very very different wfh policies compared to what then came out at the interview when I specifically asked, or in one case at the offer stage when it was clear they’d been talking shit throughout the whole process.

All our roles are hybrid, but after being burnt by some epic chancers, we insist on 5 days a week for the first month. And I'd negotiate down for a good candidate, but I wouldn't drop it entirely.
Ask them, hopefully it will be fine.

It’s a 40 min commute. A lot of after school clubs finish at 6. OP says she plans on sharing school pick up with her husband, but if she’s in the office 5 days a week she won’t be able to get back in time any day - that may restrict her husband’s ability to go into the office ever, if he has a similar commute. I don’t think it’s fair to assume that OP is planning on skiving and refusing to work from about 3pm for school pick up.

I would ask now, as if it’s not what you were told then you may not want to stay.
I would say something to your line manager- assuming they interviewed you “ I would like to check how many days in the office are required. At interview I was told it would be 2-3, but I am being asked to come in 5 days per week. Is this because of onboarding, or have the expectations changed around this?”

Our workplace has an informal hybrid policy - which means people don’t have any sort of guarantees around it. I think the ‘up to’ 2 days is not saying anything about a minimum number, just a max so it might be more like ‘up to two days a week to flex around business needs so sometimes none’ as opposed to ‘Thursdays and Fridays at home every week’

The red flag is being told one thing by HR and on the website (up to 2 days WFH, which is acceptable as OP’s boundary) and quite another by colleagues (no WFH). I would agree with you if the OP was trying change boundary of the policy eg trying to WFH full-time, but here she wants to enforce what she has been told. Which is perfectly understandable, if they go back on this what else will they renege on.

fuck that - you quit your previous job on the basis that what was being offered was hybrid and youd be home 2 days a week!

total red flag - id be pushing back and saying i want 2 days at home in my contract.

Otherwise id be looking for a new job pretty quick and leaving.

Not sure the employer is being deceitful ‘up to’. 2 days a week at home isn’t exactly the same as ‘I need Fridays at home every week for the school run’

it might be flexible within many different parameters, none of which the poster asked about at offer or interview.

The offer was “up to” 2 days. Max.

Not 2 days guaranteed.

This is a good point @Lunasma - if you’ve said something like ‘WFH would make it easier to do pick-ups’, they could have interpreted that as you planning to leave at 3, pick up from school/ nursery, then work without childcare for the next hour or two, rather than ‘It’s easier because nursery is near home and I’m not relying on trains to get there on time’.

Forget the fact that you’re a parent, what’s relevant is what was offered at interview and what is in place now. If you go on about needing it for childcare etc, they might dig their heels in. It’s irrelevant that you’re a parent as you could’ve wanted WFH for any numbers of reasons. The pertinent point is that the goalposts have seemingly changed. Ask them to clarify what the policy actually is and to see a copy of it as what you were told at interview is seemingly different now.