Childrens Social Care fit note issue

[constantworrier]

Hi there
I have just be signed off work for a month with work stress. For a bit of context I work as a children's social care manager. In 25 years of working for the same local authority I have literally had no more than 4 weeks off in total over that time.

A job I have worked so hard at has now become impossible.. new ambitious director ,full Ofsted looming and larger bits of work allocated to me and team of my direct reports has tripled in size as I was made to take on an extra and I have no business support.

Anyway, so many plates to spin and in a meeting last week I just hit a wall and broke down in tears. I spoke with my manager and did say'I have mentioned over the last 3 months that work load has felt overwhelming'. In fairness she did she'd look at making changes and said your m/ health is more important. Go and see your GP etc.

I wake up every night and can't get back off and lie there awake and some nights I get no sleep at all although the latter luckily is only occasional.

This same manager wrote me an email at the weekend bullet pointing our conversation. No ' Kind Regards' No ' Take Care'. Hope you feel better soon etc. Just her name at the bottom. This manager 'is known for a casual infomak approach with smiley faces etc
Our discussion wasn't even confrontational. We have known each other in different roles for15 years!

I went to see the GP today who has signed me off for a month.
It sounds petty but do I just attach Fit Note it to a brief curt email? I always send emails that have a warm tone but I can't be bothered now. Thanks for reading! X

I think you've got to bear in mind that your manager will now have to have her "formal" head on. These emails may be needed in the future if the relationship deteriorates, if you're not able to return to work, etc. As a manager, I have been warned repeatedly about keeping comms about this sort of topic very formal. So I wouldn't read anything into your manager's email, she's just protecting herself (and rightly so) as you are protecting yourself by getting the Fit Note and following the procedure.

For example, if she said something "nice" like "Hope you're feeling better soon", that could be inferred as pressure on you to return to work. Equally, anything like "take care" or similar could be inferred as her accepting responsibility for your illhealth on behalf of the business, which she doesn't have the authority to do.

So it's up to you whether you want to write a warm email or just send in the fit note. Personally I'd just send it in, write a formal note, leave it at that and focus on your recovery and well being over the duration you're out of the office.

I agree, I think she’s just being super formal in the way you have to be in these sort of conversations. But it has hit you hard because you’re feeling so vulnerable and I’m not bloody surprised, your work sounds a nightmare. Hope you feel better soon. Don’t rush back!!

In situations like this then the formal route is required to be taken and is nothing personal.

If you took a lawsuit against them then these emails could appear in court and things as simple as hope you are well etc could have different meanings applied to them. It is the same in most industries.

Well done for getting signed off OP. I went through exactly the same issue in social work. My lovely, funny manager suddenly went all curt and formal and everything became about HR and following the process as soon as I went off sick. I sent a few chatty messages and got only business speak stuff back so I gave up and just sent in my fit notes in the end. These people are not your friends, are protecting their backs and would be more than happy to throw you under the bus unfortunately. I would just keep any communication short and straightforward at this stage. Hope you feel much better after a month’s rest.

I don't think that's fair. There's a long way from protecting yourself to throwing someone else under a bus. Of course managers have to protect themselves as individuals too, by following the policies to the letter and therefore deferring responsibility to the business. It doesn't mean they are out to get you, but they can't risk losing their own jobs because they've sent communications deemed to be inappropriate.

Well of course, it's their job. These emails will be documented and could form part of a HR case in the future (even if they don't they're likely to be retained on file) so they should be factual and professional. There's a bit of a grey area imo when someone is signed off sick, unless the person is also a genuine friend outside of work and you have a relationship out of work I'd expect them to just do formalities as there are supposed to be boundaries in work comms when signed off. Its also to protect the employee as much as 'throwing them under the bus'.

Op this seems like a big thing as you're so overwhelmed. Send the note over and then just try and switch off from work.

Apologies OP, I realise that my comments (whilst unfortunately true for me) aren’t helpful for you. I’m sure your organisation will be much more supportive.

It’s not uncommon for the tone of communications to change completely when you are off sick (and for this to feel very strange and even cold when you have had a good working relationship with someone). As PPs have explained there are good reasons for this but if you haven’t been off sick before how would you know?

Apologies again, please ignore my previous post and I hope you feel much better soon.

Repair gosh not at all. Your comments really resonated and I found them supportive and helpful thankyou!