Advice on difficult colleague

[Stellardasher]

Hello,

I was just wondering if anyone could give some advice please! I work in a very small team, and one of my colleagues who I share my job with has been stating that I am lazy, not performing etc to our other colleague.

It has escalated to drunk texts now to other team members, including our manager, using swear words to describe me and how she thinks it is disgusting we are paid the same and she thinks I ‘take the piss’ etc. (I am confident I perform in my job and my managers feedback has always been positive so I’m not concerned about my actual ability).

She has never said anything to my face and acts as nice as pie to me in the office, this all happens behind closed doors/my back when I’m not in the office.

I am looking to raise this as a complaint as feel it is having a negative impact on my feeling towards work, but just wanted some advice if others thought this was unacceptable behaviour in the workplace, or if I’m being too sensitive and need to continue brushing it off?

It's absolutely not acceptable and you should definitely raise it as a grievance to your manager/hr.

You can do this informally if you want, but your company has to have a grievance policy. Get a copy and read through it as it should explain the process and what you need to do.

This is completely unacceptable.
Hiw do you know these have been sent ? Has someone showed you these messages or just told you verbally.
Have you spoken to your Manager about this ?
You are not being overly sensitive and should not brush it off.

What steps has your manager taken re. this team member sending out drunk texts to everyone, including them, bitching about you and your work? Has your manager set them straight? Spoken to them about how inappropriate it is? Who told you about all of these texts?

Request mediation. You need to get to the bottom of why she thinks this, plus it shows a willingness to engage constructively.

Wow thank you all so much for your responses and help!

I am aware of the texts as the other colleague has shown them to me to ‘keep me in the loop’ of the office whilst I’ve been off on mat leave. The most recent one has been sent whilst I’ve been off on maternity leave so not even been there to have annoyed her but still seems to bother her. I am returning soon and feeling anxious about it with this happening there.

I will be putting in a meeting with my manager to raise asap!

Sorry another question guys - would this behaviour count as a form of bullying? I’m just trying to write it all down with dates etc and I feel like it is but again am concerned I’m using the wrong words to describe it/too emotionally reactive towards it.

Your company should have a definition of bullying in their policies. If not, then the below is from the Acas website:

Although there is no legal definition of bullying, it can be described as unwanted behaviour from a person or group that is either:
offensive, intimidating, malicious or insulting.
an abuse or misuse of power that undermines, humiliates, or causes physical or emotional harm to someone.

I would definitely be raising this using whatever channel your company has e.g. grievance or whatever.

good luck

At my company, yes it would count as bullying, but as ppl said it depends on whether your company had a policy defining it.

If she’s sending texts to your manager they should be taking action. Sounds like your colleague has a drinking problem if she can’t refrain from sending drunken texts after a drink. Do you have evidence and team members who will back you up re witness.