Dismissed while pregnant - employer using an old resignation letter

[Kipdfgy]

Hi all,
I’m 11 weeks pregnant and really shaken by what's just happened at work. I’ve been with the company (a small family-run business) for 4 years in a managerial role. After I told them about my pregnancy, they immediately started pressuring me to return just 2 months after giving birth and to go full-time by April 2026. They also asked me to arrange all antenatal appointments on specific days to “minimise disruption,” even though these are set by the NHS.

Earlier this week, after another day of being criticised and overhearing my boss complain about me on the phone to my colleague (again! FYI they have been keeping a secret document of all my mistakes, which I found out about. They have never formally addressed these with me), I had an emotional outburst and left work early. In the heat of the moment I said I was resigning and didn’t hand anything formal in. But later that day, I got an email saying they were “accepting” a resignation letter I’d submitted and withdrawn back in 2024 — over a year ago! I have queried this and said I haven’t resigned and it’s unlawful to use and old document that was withdrawn as I continued working. They won’t accept they are wrong.

I feel like they’ve used this as an excuse to get rid of me and avoid maternity pay. I’ve never been disciplined, I met all my targets, and I feel like this is discrimination. I’m speaking with ACAS, but I just feel lost, angry and quite emotional right now.

Has anyone been through anything like this? Any advice or solidarity would really help.
Thanks so much.

Have you continued to turn up for work?
I would submit a subject access request in tge first instance ... to get any written evidence.

You may have a case but it will.take you around a year to get to tribunal and there will be a significant amount of stress. Do you really want to to go through that whilst pregnant? That's for you to decide.

Perhaps if you submit an ET1 for constructive dismissal and discrimination they will back-track.

You really do need to find a better employer if they are causing you to resign under duress on two occasions.

Most of them don't go to tribunal though. An employer will settle if an employee has a good case.

Never said you said you were a lawyer.

I made a claim against my employer and my lawyer (my specialism is not employment lawyer and I got my employer to pay my legal fees) told me to do the conciliation thing. I got the reference number. We reached settlement pppppretty quickly thereafter.

I was wondering about that. OP has managed to resign now twice within the space of a year and hasn't mentioned ever going through formal grievance procedures.

I suspect she expected them to placate her again this time the way they did last year. But, of course, they didn't, because this time she's pregnant and it gave them the excuse they were looking for.

They should be strung up for trying to use the old resignation letter though.

This.

as always happens on these threads, it’s rarely a case of “who has the best legal argument”; it’s instead usually a case of 1) who doesn’t want this made public 2) who’s more stubborn and 3) who is going to be the biggest pain that settlement looks really attractive.

The law rarely comes down to “the law”. It’s a polite scrap on who’s the bigger arsehole.

Verbal statements definitely still count. It doesn't matter if they are said in the heat if the moment or not.
You also resigned in writing a while back and even though you went back it shows you didn't want to be there.
While I fully appreciate you feel like you are been targeted from a employer perspective you seem ( possibly unreasonably) flaky.

How would you feel if you had verbally resigned and meant if then got a call ( and possibly further action taken) for not turning up to work?

Nobody cares if employment stuff is made public - all the "employers don't want bad publicity" is rubbish. It rarely gets out and if it does anyone reading it has forgotten it two seconds later. And as for who is going to be the biggest pain, OP is pregnant, and even with the most easy pregnancy in the world, she is going to manage the stress of all this, given that it will likely consume many months if not years? All the employer has to do is sit it out - if they even consider a settlement they can wait until the last minute. Meanwhile she is trying to manage that whole thing, including the tribunal process whilst pregnant and during her baby's first year.

Of course, there's another possibility. The employer says that they realise that the OP was emotional due to being pregnant and over-reacted. Here, have your job back, we'll accept that you didn't mean to scream at us that you resigned and walked out on the spot. Again.

You missed out a factor - who is sneakier. OP will pretty much blow any claim out of the water if they refuse going back, especially since they've claimed latterly that they didn't resign.

I do suspect that the employer might (probably eventually) make an offer to settle. I bet it won't be much. The OP hasn't covered themselves with glory here either, and pretty much nobody gets as much as they thought they would.

We can all agree she’s not getting her job back. That ship sailed.

Nah, OP can save this on the “refuse going back” front (if you mean she refuses to go back to work?). “I felt bullied and stressed and discriminated against” (then you play the constructive dismissal card - and, OP, FWIW, I’d allege to your employer it’s unfair AND constructive. Throw the kitchen sink at it.)

I can only opine on what happened to me and what I do do for a legal living (which is negotiate against the absolute scummiest rich corporations and funds there are, where it’s essentially brinkmanship).

Only OP knows her appetite for a fight - or outsource that to a lawyer, albeit now you’re just burning through funds you might not recoup. Only OP knows her employer - I knew full well loads of employees at my old workplace sued…but a search of the tribunals list turned up nothing. OP, get a measure of your opponent.

Get some legal advice on constructive dismissal.

I would get legal advice. You can make a claim for constructive dismissal and sex discrimination.

Also, this won’t take months. CLEARLY, the employer wants OP gone. Time to be a pesky thorn in their side so they get you gone!

id get the formal grievance procedure rolling before any potential notice period expires. They have to investigate, making you a problem they’ll pay to bugger off

This is going to be exhausting but you need to get an employment lawyer ASAP. Carry on going into work etc as normal to create continuity.

You need proper legal advice OP there are a lot of armchair experts on MN and also a lot of people who hate women, especially pregnant women so I would take everything you read here with a pinch of salt.

Was your old letter dated or are they trying to claim that you have just given this to them?

You didn’t need to tell them so early in your pregnancy- likely before your first scan even? You could have waited until much later.

Still worth contacting your Union and check the government website for guidelines too.

None of this matters here - get in touch with ACAS / Citizens Advice and get real advice.

OP, the SAR is like a template. Even better it’s a small organisation who will feel the stretch and time/monetary cost of having to comply with eg SARs, formal grievances etc (starts to maybe look like it’s cheaper just to pay you off). I can probably root out the SAR template I used - DM me if you’d like it

Are you in a Union? Sorry if you are and I missed it.
Join immediately if not. From how you describe your workplace it looks as if USDAW would be the most appropriate.
Tiny subscription for vast amount of legal advice and representation.

Deny you said it

It matters in that they asked her to stay after she tendered a written resignation, and are now trying to use that same letter a year later to back up the verbal one. It’s ludicrous.

Not a good idea if she pursues a tribunal. Better to go for constructive dismissal - they left her no choice because they made her position untenable.

I think it’s too late now if she’s not already in a union. Most unions won’t provide representation for matters arising before the member joined.

I think where this is the case ACAS advise conciliation to see if a agreement ca be reached out of court, before proceeding to a tribunal application.

A thoroughly sensible post, PhillipaGeorgiou
It sounds as if there's a lot of nuance here, and while it's popular on MN to suggest that pregnant = untouchable it simply isn't so

However fortunately OP's already contacted ACAS, so hopefully they'll be able to guide her through this

As per pp I’d agree with speaking to ACAS. I’d also check your contract on the process of resignation. If it states that it has to be written, then there is an argument to be made as they are formally recognising your letter from last year, despite you continuing to work following it.

If you have any proof that they were being difficult with your anti-natal appointments and that you were definitely not on a performance improvement plan, there are grounds that all of the harassment followed you making them aware that you were pregnant.

Once you manage to take a deep breath, start collating everything including any correspondence you may have. Then take it to ACAS or an employment solicitor and let them deem if it’s a case.

This type of behaviour is incredibly normal and happens more than you think. Being pregnant is a protected characteristic but you have to also have a clear case.

Are you in a financially precarious position?

Think this through. Get advice. I'd only go nuclear if I was financially precarious. Otherwise, I'd try and notch it down a couple of levels to reduce stress, cut ties faster and look for a new role.

If you have resigned twice in 4 years and leave the office, then that says to me that you have trouble controlling your emotions in this workplace. You need to keep this under control- and if that means it makes you more stressed, then you really need to think about how that stress is going to impact on you and your pregnancy.

Good luck.