Work presentation - just can’t do it

[driftingintheair]

I’ve been in a new job for nearly 5 months and despite being an Admin position (a very specific type of admin - not generic) I am in a team that comprises the SLT, Directors, a PA, and a few other very senior staff - then there’s me. In the pecking order of things I am at the lowest end of the organisation.

The organisation is spread across 4 sites and I am based at one by myself whereas everyone else on my team is at another site. I’ve only seen my manager in person 6 times since I started, and in an average week I might get one email from her, if that. So, I don’t know her that well and I’m not sure how she will react to my suggestion.

In January it was announced that people in my team have to give an 8 minute presentation to the SLT - about your role, what’s happening, challenges and improvements you are making etc. Fair enough I guess but I simply cannot stand up and give an 8-minute presentation, even if I put a PowerPoint together to help me. Never in my working life have I been told to give such a thing to anyone, let alone the SLT.

I am happy to put a PowerPoint together to send them to read, but I simply cannot stand up in front of people. Eight minutes is a long time when you have never done this before. I have no career aspirations in this organisation so I don’t see it as an opportunity to get my profile out there etc. I realise some people would love this sort of thing if you are looking to climb the career ladder but I’m not.

DH was initially ‘oh it will be fine,’ but he’s seen how stressed I am about it and has conceded that the rest of my team are very senior staff who are used to this sort of thing, whereas as I am an admin nobody and am horrified. DH is well used to giving presentations to hundreds of people so he wouldn’t be fazed in the slightest, so he said talk to my manager about it and see if you can come to a compromise.

I don’t want my manger to think I’m pathetic - I had review feedback last month where she said I am doing ‘a fantastic job’ etc, so this is absolutely not me being lazy. The thought of standing up for so long actually makes me rather resign.

How can I professionally word this to my manager so that the SLT would hopefully compromise but still get the information they would like to hear about?

I totally get it op, totally even though others on here don’t. You need to speak to your manager about how this is making you feel, if you’ve never had to do this before then you’re right to question it and raise any concerns.
I think some people just don’t get that others don’t want that in a role, and are happy just getting on with their job and tasks as usual.

Not sure of your set up OP but I manage a large team of over 300 people. If any of them at any level came to me and told me how stressed they were about this I'd not bat an eyelid and either make it so their presentation wasn't needed or ask them to compile it and present it myself (I've done both several times). . I've been where you are, it's horrible and I don't like to think of anyone feeling that way. I agree with you that you've not signed up for a role / career which depends on this skill so I'd think it unfair to expect it of you. Talk to your manager. I'm sure she'll help you towards a resolution.

You don't need to be senior to talk to other people. I actually think it would be you marking yourself out as different from all the others, which will change their perceptions of you. If someone (who admits themselves) with far less responsibility of specialism refuses to do as asked and expects some sort of special dispensation, they'll look for someone else.

How many people will you be presenting to?

I think you are massively overthinking this. No one will expect you to be perfect, you boss can maybe co present but I would expect anyone who can converse to be able to talk about themselves for 5 minutes and I would be unhappy if one of my team point blank refused.
i used to hate presenting so I went to a business group and practiced as much as I could, now I present to thousands at a time and get paid to talk about specialist subjects. It’s a life skill, give it a go!

I think write yourself some bullet points and practice practice! Just because you’re 50 and haven’t done this before doesn’t mean you can’t challenge yourself to something new. You might feel a huge high afterwards for your new achievement

it wouldn’t fly at any company I’ve ever worked for, for someone to say they wouldn’t present. It was expected of everyone and when I managed people, everyone on my team would have had to - it was just expectation.

I assure you I am not minimising it. In a professional capacity, I worked with a woman who worked for a large corporate and who had the greatest imposter syndrome I have ever seen. That included being terrified of presenting. Over a period of weeks, we worked together on a presentation she had to give to a large group of colleagues. Right up until the last moment, she told me she couldn't do it. But she did, because she knew she was limiting herself and was determined to overcome her fear.

Unless you have a real phobia of public/formal speaking you really can't grasp just how terrifying it is. I tried to power though with beta blockers, coaching, different techniques but just ended up vomiting, passing out or going into full panic attack. It's not for everyone and that's completely ok. I can't even present to a small group and I even get jolts of nausea and panic sitting around a desk with the senco and dc's teacher. I completely understand op.

OP I totally get it and feel exactly the same way as you, I really feel for you. Everyone saying take Beta blockers, practice and you will be able to do it has not got a clue.
Like you I have social anxiety and I just cannot stand up in front of people and present, everyone looking at me is not something I can subject myself to. It takes me back to many times at school when I had to stand in front of the class and I would just be ridiculed for how I looked, it was so humiliating and I still get triggered by having an audience.
Please OP speak to your manager on Monday and tell them you just can't do this, there is no shame in it and they should understand.
I totally get it is a hill you are prepared to die on because I would rather resign than have to give a presentation.
Stand firm OP what is the worst they can do, sack you? Please be honest, please tell them it is not happening and please don't feel bad about it. It might be a reasonable request but it is also reasonable for you to decline.
I really hope you get this sorted OP.

Firstly, I completely understand how you feel about presenting. I wouldn't be able to get over it either. I've tried, I can't do it, there you go. I've read the books, visualisation, practicing etc etc, it's not happening.

However. Is there any chance you can do the presentation online, via Teams? Would you find it easier??

If not, just do what dbd1975 said

The worst they can do is fire you

Which, they won't.

I think you need to raise it with the SLT member in the group, rather than your manager, as she's not involved in the project.

If you raise it with her, she has to contect her own SLT member, and that can become a to and fro via her re what can they do to make you more comfortable etc.

I've been in this position as a manager with a team member flat out refusing to give a presentation, so I had to give it. I had some sympathy, but I did expect her to work on her neevousness, eg reporting in our unit meetings etc.

You're obviously not an admin nobody as you're seen a member of this team, you need to build on your self-confidence and look to further your career.

I give presentations daily as part of my job role and I still get nervous after 20 years! When someone has a fear of presenting it shouldn't be minimised.

Have a chat with your SLT, explain that your fear is so bad you'd rather resign. Hopefully they'll allow you to put a PowerPoint together and someone else will present it on your behalf.

Why are you selling yourself short? Just do the presentation, it doesn't have to be 8 minutes, and you'll actually be surprised at how fast time goes. Here's a little secret most people's fear is public speaking, more than death! You won't be the only one who is scared to do this. Also, as part of this ask to be sent on a presentation skills course as part of your professional development. Better, join a Toastmasters club they are lots of fun. I hate doing presentations too, most people do. But please do it, you'll surprise yourself and make yourself proud.

I had this fear as well OP. A combination of social anxiety and never doing it before - never had to present at school. In my 30s I had to speak in a group setting, not even a presentation, at work and had a panic attack, which really cemented the fear.

I went back to university in my mid 30s as a mature student and couldn’t avoid it any longer. I went to acting classes to get used to speaking in front of people. They were fun, and lessened the fear. I’m mid 50s now and have to present occasionally at work (as a PA, so not often). I still don’t like it, and tend to rush through it. I manage though by practising out loud several times in the couple of days before. And also by thinking of it as ‘just a chat’ and ‘no-one is listening properly anyway’. I also did a couple of presenting courses at work.

All of which to say is, please speak to your manager to be excused, as there is no reason to put yourself through this stress. But please don’t write yourself off as incapable of doing it. Practice to your DH if you do have to do it, it makes it so much easier when you do it for real. And it is very satisfying when you do achieve it.

Stop thinking of yourself as a nobody.

Then remember that you’re all humans - if they can give a presentation then so can you. It’s just talking to other humans. It’s just people. It’s fine if it’s a bit under 8 minutes.

If you really don’t want to do it then you need to admit to your boss that you’re afraid of public speaking… which you are if it’s so paralysing you can’t stand up and talk for less than 10 minutes to 6 people in a room.

Hopefully she will understand. If not, you said you don’t have aspirations there anyway so who cares.

If you cannot talk about your role for 8 mins then there is an issue? Sending a power point is not completing the presentation task. We spend so much time at work i am sure an 8 min presentation will fly by as a lot to cover.

OP, ignore the idiots on this chat who haven't got a clue how traumatic this can be for some people.
Those who say you're being dramatic about resigning should consider that people do commit suicide over this.
Talk to your line manager and if necessary do the recorded video.

Following because I'm in the same boat! I'm in a senior role and have a big presentation to do this week to my executive committee that I'm absolutely dreading! My strategy is to write a script and rehearse, rehearse, rehearse until I know it off by heart, then I can bring it alive on the day. I also dread even more the Q&A that follows, which you can only minimally prepare for 😬

I am probably not the person to advise, as a lecturer who regularly faced 400 18 year old engineering students. I do remember my first ever presentation to 10 fellow students where I could barely breathe. I’ve also seen literally thousands of students do presentations. I know the fear and anxiety is real, but what is also real is the feeling of elation when you manage to do it. Even if you only talk for two or three minutes, even if the only way you can do it is by reading a script and not making eye contact, even if you have to stop mid way to gather your senses, discovering that nobody cares about any of that is so liberating. Everyone who is listening to you will be willing you to succeed, it’s not them against you.

Is there any way you could participate which makes you feel nervous but you think you could do at a push? For example would you be happy to put a presentation together, have your manager deliver it and you are asked questions at the end or you stand at the front whilst your manager presents? It’s good to push yourself a little if you can, for general confidence both inside and outside of work. Any decent manager would work with you on this, it’s good for their own professional development too.

OP please please speak to your manager about this. I’d be horrified if I discovered one of my team was being caused so much anxiety by a work task. Mind you I’d have discussed it already with you and probably we’d have agreed you don’t do it, or agreed what support you need to do it.

Could use narration on your PowerPoint so they could play it with you talking?
You prepare it in advance. It's quite easy to do.

Feel the fear and do it anyway.

It's 8 minutes of your life, that's all. It doesn't matter if you stumble over your words etc, nobody will mind. Don't think about the people you're presenting to as SLT, they're just people.

If you resign over this I think you'll feel wretched.

Often for interviews you’re asked to do presentations :)