Returning to work

starryeyed19 · 2025-04-21T12:42:17+00:00

I’m due to return to work after maternity leave and I’m feeling quite anxious about it all. My baby is going to a nursery five days a week, which is a new childcare arrangement for me and apart from all the “How do I do my job?” and trying to catch up with all the changes, my flexible working request has meant that my working pattern will change to 100% wfh and I am worried about how the rest of my team will react to this. It’s a bit of a long story but historically, our department has not been great at letting us wfh (we only get one day per week when the rest of our organisation gets two as standard). Does anyone have any advice about any of this before I explode with anxiety?

FleaBeeBob · 21/04/2025 14:18

I’m very jealous of people who can wfh, in my job I can’t unless I’m sick to which I always say if I’m sick why would I work! But the other 2 in the office can if their kids are off school or they have lot to do (we’re all bloody busy) or they got up late and their kid doesn’t feel like school. Pisses me right off especially when one is wfh and comes back and says how tired they are. My response has gone from oh I’m sorry you’re tired to ignoring the bullshit and staying silent. The other 2 have husbands who could step up and be off, god knows why it’s always on the women to be off

Original poster

starryeyed19 · 21/04/2025 16:24

It was working from home or having to quit. And my line manager helped out by suggesting I put in an application rather than handing in my resignation. But yeah. I suspect the rest of my team are not thrilled about it. I just hope it doesn’t affect our relationships.

OP posts:

NameChange202525 · 21/04/2025 16:31

Assuming you are a single parent with no help from family available - hopefully your team will be sympathetic to this

GuestSpeakers · 21/04/2025 16:34

It’s not what you want to hear but I’d be annoyed, especially if you’re being paid the same and not incurring the costs everyone else does because they have to be in the office.

I’d understand if it was 3 days a week but 5 is ridiculous from a company that insists nobody else can wfh more than 1 day a week.

Original poster

starryeyed19 · 21/04/2025 16:47

The company has a general rule that everyone is in three days a week but people’s working patterns vary vastly depending on how front facing they are. There are other people across the department who work from home full time but none in our department. Our department is the only one across the organisation where we’re only allowed to have one day per week.

I’m also taking a pay cut now my working patterns has changed.

OP posts:

Dwells · 21/04/2025 16:47

FleaBeeBob · 21/04/2025 14:18

I’m very jealous of people who can wfh, in my job I can’t unless I’m sick to which I always say if I’m sick why would I work! But the other 2 in the office can if their kids are off school or they have lot to do (we’re all bloody busy) or they got up late and their kid doesn’t feel like school. Pisses me right off especially when one is wfh and comes back and says how tired they are. My response has gone from oh I’m sorry you’re tired to ignoring the bullshit and staying silent. The other 2 have husbands who could step up and be off, god knows why it’s always on the women to be off

Edited

Leave and get a job that suits you then. Life is too short for this kind of bitterness

NameChange202525 · 21/04/2025 16:50

starryeyed19 · 21/04/2025 16:47

The company has a general rule that everyone is in three days a week but people’s working patterns vary vastly depending on how front facing they are. There are other people across the department who work from home full time but none in our department. Our department is the only one across the organisation where we’re only allowed to have one day per week.

I’m also taking a pay cut now my working patterns has changed.

Do they know you’ve taken a pay cut.

maybe they will see it as a good thing you can WFH, progressive. if it works for you then no reason they can’t ask the same in due course?

Rafting2022 · 21/04/2025 16:56

How far are you from the office? Can you not show willing and go in a couple of days a week as you have full time childcare?

Is the other parent involved to share drop-offs and pick-ups?

Original poster

starryeyed19 · 21/04/2025 16:58

Rafting2022 · 21/04/2025 16:56

How far are you from the office? Can you not show willing and go in a couple of days a week as you have full time childcare?

Is the other parent involved to share drop-offs and pick-ups?

I can go in for the first few weeks but I’m moving to another town in July/August and commuting from there five days a week won’t be financially possible.

It’s also a trial so will be reviewed in three months.

OP posts:

NameChange202525 · 21/04/2025 17:01

starryeyed19 · 21/04/2025 16:58

I can go in for the first few weeks but I’m moving to another town in July/August and commuting from there five days a week won’t be financially possible.

It’s also a trial so will be reviewed in three months.

Show quote history

I would go in for the first few weeks then, to ease the anxiety and help you settle back without the extra worry of what colleagues think.

Cantgetausername87 · 21/04/2025 17:02

Some of the hate of WFH on here's outrageous! I would be grateful your employer has been flexible and able to offer you this. For your colleagues, it's their issue to take up and the fact you're WFH will only strengthen their cases too.
I think any employer flexing to allow women to return from maternity leave is bare minimum in this day and age, and people moaning about it are simply jealous!
It's going to be hard enough returning, don't put your working location on top of that! X

Olika · 21/04/2025 17:04

I WFH full time after maternity leave whereas the rest of the team had to attend office twice a week. I am sure they felt it was unfair but that was my agreement with my manager/director, and I didn’t discuss or think any further about it with anybody. I just concentrated on doing my job and made sure I was active in our meetings online to engage with the others.

WhereIsMyLight · 21/04/2025 17:08

I think people will react one of two ways: jealousy over you being about to work from
home when they can’t or seeing it as a case to wfh more generally as a team. I would encourage you to go in as much as possible in the first few weeks whilst you can. Over lunch I would talk to a sympathetic but gossipy coworker and I would make it clear that your new working pattern includes a pay cut and is a trial for 3 months. I would then emphasise that if it works for you, there is a case to support others in the team working more flexibly.

oustedbymymate · 21/04/2025 17:19

Firstly. Don't worry what others think. Secondly if you're happy to share you've taken a pay cut.

I was a teacher when I had DC1 and returned 3 days. I got all sort of comments about how lovely it must be to have a long weekend etc. I told them they could have it too if they gave up 40% of their wage.... so stopped the comments.

After DC2 I changed jobs. I no longer work in teaching and work 5 days but put in a flexible working request to go term time only pro rata. Was agreed. Again I had comments about how lovely it was to have two weeks off over Easter again I pointed out my wage was pro rata!

It will take some getting used to going back and finding your groove.

Some things that helped me:
Firm routine
Prep everything the night before no matter how tired you are
Online food shopping and set same slot each week.
Meal plan and save lists for one line delivery and just add weekly essentials. Or add and remove before checkout. I order my weekly shop a month in advance
Research slow cooker meals so that you can have tea ready when you get in

Good luck

BethDuttonYeHaw · 21/04/2025 17:23

You are happy and your line manager supports you. That’s what matters.

if colleagues don’t like it then they should put in flexible working applications too rather than behaving unprofessionally towards you and if they do then they are arseholes - report them to HR.