Is it normal to be this exhausted by work?

[ChangingRooms2000]

I work full time in a middle management position in the public sector. WFH 2 or 3 dpw. The job is good on paper but the organisation is badly funded and there’s an unhappy work culture.

anyway, I am EXHAUSTED by work. This is my first full time job since having children - am I just out of the game? I homeschooled 3 kids during Covid, have nursed 2 elderly family members through ill health and death, and worked part time (3 to 4 dpw) that entire time, but this is much, much worse.

on the days I go into the office I am so tired I can’t do anything except come home, eat and sleep. On the days I work from home I’m in a foul mood from staring at the screen and feel physically disgusting.

Ive tried to pinpoint what is different from other jobs and i think it’s the amount of meetings and an overbearing workload. Also when i worked 3/4 dpw before i had more control over my time, whereas working full time im expected to be available for everyone all the time. But this is by no means the worst job I’ve had so what’s going on? Or is this just normal and I don’t realise? Are there any strategies I could use to make it easier?

I’ve just had 2 weeks off over Easter and now - on day 15 of my time off, is the first day that I actually feel ‘me’ again. The thought of going back to work on Tuesday is horrendous

OP you sound like you've been through a lot in the last few years and maybe it's caught up with you a bit? Add to that the workload and increasing hours it can feel overwhelming.

Public sector is being decimated at the moment and it's something I know well. It's not the cushy job people think it is and we are now doing the jobs of 3 people. I think maybe you need to speak to your line manager about your workload and potentially see your GP for burnout - maybe you need some time off?

It sounds like you might need to start setting boundaries and not just be available for everyone all the time. Also I’d ask your manager about doing a stress risk assessment.

I’m in a similar situation with workload and recently had time off so know how you feel. Try pushing back and setting boundaries - if that doesn’t work then I think you need to leave. That’s my plan anyway.

Good luck!

You sound exhausted, which doesn’t have to be triggered by work but could be a build up of everything that’s happened over the past five years. Can you stick to 3 wfh days per week and take it easier on those days? Focus on eating well, good sleep hygiene etc?

I would get your bloods checked, as I suppose it could be anaemia or something.

Otherwise it sounds like burnout from psychological overload, and/or from being in entirely the same wrong job.

So it’s setting some boundaries and very possibly looking for a new job. A good coach can be quite helpful in this.

It took me a long time to get used to work full time into, as it current my job is also more demanding, client facing, corporate, frequent deadlines.

I had to learn to disconnect, listen to music when I finish, meditation, yoga, connect with nature, walks. treat it as just a job, I don’t get pay to worry on my time off. Prioritise self care, self love. I sometimes used my headphones in the office too with calming, concentration music.

Easier saying than done but still working on it. I was so exhausted too that needed Saturday to sleep to recover.

I also take magnesium, vitamin d, vitamin c. Get a blood test and ensure your vitamin levels and everything else is good.

I think your point about the public sector is very valid. The underfunding and poor work culture are the reasons behind your exhaustion. I would ask your manager for a stress risk assessment and possibly occupational health referral.

Gosh do you know what I feel the same. I wish I could run away most of the time even from DP and my job which sounds similar to yours!!!

I also work full-time over 4 days in public sector and on the days I’m at work I have no energy for anything other than work. It’s exhausting. I’m just kinder to myself now and my DH gets home earlier than me so he sorts the kids and cooks dinner etc. On my days off I get plenty of exercise, do yoga and try and recuperate as much as possible.
I was hoping now the days are getting longer than I’d feel more like going for a run or a walk on the beach in the evenings but I haven’t felt up to that yet!
I don’t drink any alcohol in the week, take magnesium an hour before bed and try to go to bed by 10. That just about keeps me right.

Oh wow, it’s good to know I’m not alone but also quite depressing! Am curious about the stress risk assessment - I haven’t heard of that. I don’t know if I can self refer to occupational health but will look into it. (My management is horrendous - that’s another story)

at the moment I’m thinking I might HAVE to go part time. As a matter of survival. And just be brutal about not being available on my days off

Worth getting your bloods done to rule out any issues. It also sounds like you might be more of an introvert rather than an extrovert so all those meetings are sapping your energy.

Yes, I’m definitely more of an introvert. I wish I could change jobs but it’s obviously a really bad job market out there and I’ve only been in this job for 18 months so it feels flakey to quit. Dh and I are equal earners so we rely on my income, but I just don’t know if I can continue to work like this.

I’ve worked full time with kids for years and been exhausted for years 🤣 I’m also doing a degree level qual alongside my job and getting another pet. I’m a glutton for punishment. I’m just used to it by this point. Sorry no advice!

Sure that helps op.

It's very normal for the public sector. Me and all of my colleagues are knackered and most of us have grown up children. It's constant and never ending.

"And just be brutal about not being available on my days off"

Abso-bloody-lutely. You're not senior management with salary to match, and you are not being paid to work (or even think about work) on your days off.

Another thing is that you need to train yourself to switch off completely the minute you leave work, and don't switch on again until you start work again the next day. I used to be freelance and had to do this because it dawned on me that my clients were not paying me to think about their business when I wasn't actually charging them for my time. It took a while, but I got there in the end.

Lidl vitamin drinks keep me going.

Could it be perimenopause?

I think it might be your job op.

Exactly the same.

Permanently exhausted. Weekends are wasted as I have no energy for anything other than chores/food shopping.

I’m sympathising with her FGS! Sometimes helps to know you aren’t alone and not the only one struggling.

It does sound like you are excessively tired. I have a similar set up - down time and self care are important.

On your wfh days listen to relaxing music if not in a meeting. Don't wear headphones ever when wfh - I find headset calls much more tiring - just use the laptop mic. This one simple thing makes a huge difference to my energy levels. Lots of mugs of tea!

I try and schedule my in office days for lighter meeting days so I'm not on a headset and video calls - it's much less tiring.

Yeah the incessant meetings! …. I think my laptop drains the life force out of me.

ok so I’m going to try: better boundaries around timekeeping and thinking about work outside of work; fewer meetings; concentrating on relaxing after work. I might try to see if I can do something on the commute to help me unwind. Not sure what as I find the commute quite stressful. But when I’m wfh I might try to have an end of work ritual too

Sympathies OP - I’m the same but I don’t have kids! Also public sector middle management and doing at least two people’s jobs.

I’m late 40s so perimenopause definitely a factor. I did a burnout questionnaire and scored almost full marks, shortly afterwards I got signed off with work-related stress. I have made the tough decision to step down and sideways to see if it helps. It will be quite a drop in salary but the alternative was resigning with no job to go to.

I am trying to not feel bitter and angry about how I’ve been treated, because it’s nothing personal, it’s just how things are at the moment. Not going to get any better any time soon either.

I’m so sorry you feel like that @JurgenKloppsTeeth maybe it’s a public sector thing more than anything else. I used to work in the charity sector which was worse pay and conditions (on the face of it) but a much much more positive environment