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Original poster

Civil Service Bereavement Leave

10 replies

Asvan · 17/04/2025 22:23

Hi everyone,

Just need some advice please. I work for the Civil Service and I am currently off on annual leave for the Easter holidays.

Unfortunately just at the beginning of the holidays my MIL passed away. Me and DH were prime carers for her as she lived on her own.

We've already had the funeral and I am due to go back to work on Tuesday but I'm just not ready for it. My DH is devastated and needs my support. We also have to do all the admin stuff and start clearing MILs house out. I will have to lead most of this as DH is in no fit state to do so.

I don't really know much about the different types of leave in the Civil Sevice, but does anyone know if I could ask for compassionate/special leave? Or would this come across as cheeky as we've already had the funeral?

Or would it be better to take sick leave? And how does this work? I've never taken sick leave and I have only had 2 sick days off in total in 5 years. I wouldn't want it to hit any absence triggers.

Any advice would be appreciated.

Thanks.

OP posts:

HairOfFineStraw · 17/04/2025 22:39

Speak to your line mgr and check the staff handbook. I should know this but it's def a few days.

HairOfFineStraw · 17/04/2025 22:40

And take it as bereavement not sick, this exists for a reason! You don't want sick accruing and then you actually get sick and it counts against you. Sorry about your MIL

madgreenlemons · 17/04/2025 22:41

Get in touch with your line manager asap and explain that you’ve had the bereavement, and why you didn’t get in touch before. It’s pretty reasonable to use some bereavement leave for this period but they might need to check the policy before considering how it applies in this situation. I don’t think sick leave applies here- unless of course your grief has brought you into a period of depression. Hopefully your manager will be understanding but if not you can ask them to send you a copy of the policy on special paid leave.

Zanatdy · 18/04/2025 13:42

It’s a max of 5 days special leave, which covers bereavement so you could request that.

Bjorkdidit · 18/04/2025 17:29

There are no set rules. I had about 3 weeks off when my dad died but his funeral wasn't for ages (can't remember if I went back in between).

It was probably a mix of sick and special leave.

LadyLapsang · 19/04/2025 12:13

I had two days off when my DM died - the day she died and the day of the funeral. I definitely went back too soon, but no one would have picked up my work if I hadn’t worked and that would have caused more pressure. With DF, my manager (different, more senior) insisted I took a week off and my work was covered. It is hard, DH (private sector) has already dropped down to 4 days pw to help care for his very elderly DM who lives alone with carers 3 times pd, but he often works some of his NWD.

I have seen colleagues take more than a week, but mainly for parents. How long is your DH taking off work? How long do you think you need? If you want to take a long time to do admin and house clearing, you could ask for special unpaid leave.

Harassedevictee · 20/04/2025 17:29

Retired CS HR - talk to your manager apply for bereavement leave. Once that runs out you can either phone your manager and self certify sick for the first 7 days or contact GP for a fit note for 2 weeks. Make sure the fit note or your self certificate states “bereavement leave.”

Ideally you would have let them know on the day or next working day as you could have got your leave back and taken sick instead.

Everyone reacts differently to bereavement, some people go back to work because that is right for them, for others they need some time. No judgement.

lizzyBennet08 · 20/04/2025 20:15

My work allows 2 days off for in-laws but more for actual parents .

jetlag92 · 20/04/2025 23:08

In rhe private sector I wouldn't take time off for my MIL.

TartanMammy · 20/04/2025 23:22

jetlag92 · 20/04/2025 23:08

In rhe private sector I wouldn't take time off for my MIL.

She's not taking time off for her mil, she's taking the time off because she's had a significant bereavement and her partner also needs her support. My mil died a couple of years ago, and I was devastated as were the rest of the family. I'd have been no use at work and I was needed to help the family with arrangements.

There are no medals for soldiering on, take as long as you need op, speak to your line manager about bereavement leave, it's there for a reason. I'm so sorry you're facing this.

At my workplace they would also replace my annual leave with compassionate leave or sick leave, up to 5 days.

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