Just seen a FT job I really want: want to cry!

[Laugs]

I gave up work about a month ago to be at home with DD (18mths). I really love being at home, but can't disguise that I am also ambitious. I keep finding myself on job sites in my free time.

I've just gone and found my dream job, which is full time and would be really hard work. I was short-listed for a similar position in same company 4 years ago, and nothing as good has come up since. Part of me feels like I have to go for it , the other part thinks I'm really f*ing stupid for looking at jobs when I do want to be at home. I also promised myself I'd never ever work full time until DD was older.

I'm so confused! Does every mother have to feel they are enormously compromising either their career or their home-life, or is it just me??

Did you give up partly cos you didn't like the job you were in, or was it the home life balance ?

If you're looking at job sites, sounds to me like you'd like to be working to some extent.

If this is your dream job, and they don't come up often, then is there any way that they would consider a job share if you wouldn't want to do part time ?

FWIW, I work FT, and a large part of that decision is that my job isn't a part timeable one, and that they don't come up at all frequently (only a handful in this country). And I love my job.

I gave up because my DP had been at home full-time since the end of my mat. leave and he got a full-time job. I wasn't ready to put DD in nursery and I felt I'd got as far as I could in my current job. Also, the commute was awful!

I would like to be working to some extent - I am doing tiny bits of freelance, and more of that is the ideal, but I'd have considered PT. I couldn't do this 'dream job' part time, sadly.

Would the commute be better for this job ?

Would a nanny be a reasonable proposition for you ?

Even though your dp has just started a new job, could he go pt so that your dd doesn't have to go to childcare full time. BTW how old is dd?

Why not apply and see if you get it then you can make your decision. If you don't get it you can carry on as you are without building up resentment for not going for your dream.

I think most mothers feel that they are compromised in the home/career balance. I have chosen to work pt in a less demanding role than i was used to before kids and still look at job sites every week. Deep down I know I wouldn't want to leave them all day 5 days a week especially as I would almost certainly be working very long hours. I consider myself fortunate however as most of the mums I know have had to chose between working ft or not as all as there are just so few decent pt jobs around.

I feel for you! I'm currently looking for a job, and also trying to work out if we could afford for me to stay at home, both in terms of my sanity and our finances.

It is REALLY hard, I only want to work part time but keep seeing really good jobs come up for lots of dosh, but they're always FT and/or involve a long commute which makes them impossible. And I start wondering if I could be someone who put their child into full on wraparound care to pursue their career, and I know I'm not really that person, but sometimes I want those jobs so much it hurts!

So I have every sympathy. It is a compromise. Anyone who says women can have it all is LYING. (Unless they're Nicola Horlick, who has stacks of cash and can afford nannies and to live near her high flying job)

I am a full time working mother with two children (10 and 6). I work for a large company which prides itself on flexible working practises.

Although I have a group of customers to look after (and visit) I am home based. This doesnt mean I could have worked at home with very young children (ie 5 or under) in the background as I need to be on the phone alot during the day.

I would go even further and say I wouldnt have had my second son if it wasnt for the company policies.

The childcare costs are huge (£45 per child per day) but the children are now at school and it has got easier.

I think the key to any job when you are a mother is that it has to be close by. Dont commute more than half an hour at most. Any more and you will be constantly worrying about the traffic and whether the nursey will be charging you for being late.