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Torn between two job offers

19 replies

Pleasehelpme90 · 26/03/2025 14:02

I know it’s my decision but I am truly torn. I was made redundant recently and have thrown myself into applying for jobs. I work in the legal profession and have spend the last 7 years studying. I have three children both primary and secondary school ages.

Job 1 -
In the city. Bigger company so very secure. Driving would be 50 minutes each way, or I could get the train which would take 30 minutes then a 10 minute walk to the office. So 40-45 minutes.

Here is the drawback. In my current job I have been able to take my children to school meaning my husband can work early morning. He is self employed and if I take job 1 he will have to take the kids to school. This will result in a loss of around £30 earnings for him each morning as it is his busiest time. He wants me to do the job I want to so said he will deal with this. However it is £600 a month we will lose as a household. I couldn’t take the kids to school then get there on time, even if I reduced my lunch hour to 30 minutes. They have said after probation I can work one day a week from home.

As well as hubbys earnings being reduced, I will be paying £25 for the train each week.

Salary is £2k less than job 2, but salary progression will be better upon qualification and experience. Also bonuses once targets are met.

I have been in twice and they seem lovely. I had a chat with a staff member and she said the culture is great.

It is in the department I want to be in. I have done this type of work for a few years now and am very passionate about it.

Job 2 -
Smaller company in a nearby town. 15 minute drive door to door.

Salary £2k more than job 1. Maybe some progression over time but likely not as much as job 1.

As it is so close I would be able to continue taking the kids to school, enabling my husband to continue his work morning as usual so no losses there. Fuel will be around £15 per week.

The people seem lovely as with job 1. They seem very supportive and we had a good chat.

it is still in the legal sector but a different department to what I want to do. They have said they have started doing the type of work I want to do 6 months ago but it hasn’t taken off enough for me to work in this area. However, they would like me to help grow the department with the view of me swapping over once it grows.

I was on minimum wage at my previous role (where I was made redundant) so both jobs increase my salary by either £8k or £10k. Practically job 2 makes more sense as it is close and we wouldn’t be losing anything, so I would see more of the salary increase from my previous role. But job 1 is the area I want to stay in within the sector and what I have the most experience in. I just don’t think the financial losses will work. I’m gutted about this. Any help/advice would be great. As they both seem really nice this makes it even harder. I’ve worked and studied hard for a long time to get an opportunity like job 1 but job 2 makes more sense financially and practically.

OP posts:
Whoarethoseguys · 26/03/2025 14:10

I would definitely go with job 2. It is much more convenient for you , you will be better off financially and time wise and even though it's not in your preferred area they have said they want you to develop that area.

Comfyland · 26/03/2025 14:27

It seems you want job 1; what does you gut feeling tell you?

Can you get a childminder/student/another mum to take kids to school? For £10 to £15?

Your kids will grow up and become more independent.

Can children do breakfast club? How old are they? Can they not take themselves to school? Or olders take youngest ones?

Which company has more flexibility though? There will be take off for appointments, sickness, etc.

Pleasehelpme90 · 26/03/2025 14:35

Comfyland · 26/03/2025 14:27

It seems you want job 1; what does you gut feeling tell you?

Can you get a childminder/student/another mum to take kids to school? For £10 to £15?

Your kids will grow up and become more independent.

Can children do breakfast club? How old are they? Can they not take themselves to school? Or olders take youngest ones?

Which company has more flexibility though? There will be take off for appointments, sickness, etc.

Edited

This is the thing, I have never felt more torn with a decision. My gut tells me job 1 will take me to where I want to be in my career. But that job 2 is easier for family life.

They could do breakfast club. That will be £4 per day each so £8 but hubby could still work the busy mornings.

Regarding flexibility, as job 2 is closer that would be easier for getting the kids if they were ill. However my husbands job is flexible and he has always been the one to get them as he works very nearby so that’s not an issue. Annual leave is the same for both.

OP posts:
Comfyland · 26/03/2025 14:36

Go for job 1 and make it work; lots of parents do; otherwise you will be resentful for your husband and children. You were already in a low salary anyway,

YeGodsandLittleFishies · 26/03/2025 14:36

Flip a coin.

if the “wrong” choice comes up, you’ll know it.

Comfyland · 26/03/2025 14:39

Pleasehelpme90 · 26/03/2025 14:35

This is the thing, I have never felt more torn with a decision. My gut tells me job 1 will take me to where I want to be in my career. But that job 2 is easier for family life.

They could do breakfast club. That will be £4 per day each so £8 but hubby could still work the busy mornings.

Regarding flexibility, as job 2 is closer that would be easier for getting the kids if they were ill. However my husbands job is flexible and he has always been the one to get them as he works very nearby so that’s not an issue. Annual leave is the same for both.

Basically you have a solution and know what you want. Stop worrying about the money and go for it.

NewMe2024 · 26/03/2025 14:44

Tell job one that you have a competing offer and ask them to up theirs by £5K to offset your losses. Go on, OP - be brave!

EasterIssland · 26/03/2025 14:45

If you put your children in breakfast club don’t forget you can’t get the 20% off for each one from the government. So a bit cheaper

notgettinganyyounger · 26/03/2025 14:46

Job 2. You can always progress once you arw jo longer doing the younger school run

Milly16 · 26/03/2025 16:46

Definitely job 1

Catopia · 26/03/2025 18:02

Honestly, I would take job 2 all day. Taking you on may be the push they need to take more work in your specialist area, and an opportunity to market that fact - and indeed, if you have a reputation and may bring clients with you that may provide stimulation to that growth area. I would take job 2 but make clear that it is stipulated that the growth area is your primary practice area.

I suppose the other option is take job 1, but be very honest with job 2 that you really want to work there but in your area but please contact you when they are ready to hire in your practice area, and hope that job 1 will be a stepping stone whilst allowing you to build experience.

But working in the legal sector myself, it's the people that make it bearable, and I'd pick the nice team for the sake of sanity.

PickledElectricity · 26/03/2025 18:05

Job one without a doubt. Make it work, it's better for you long term.

Hypercatalectic · 26/03/2025 18:40

Your husband sounds supportive and there are ways to make it work. Primary school drop offs & pick ups won’t last forever. Definitely go for job 1 - there’s more than one way to look after your family and investing in yourself is one. Agree with a PP about asking them to maybe match the salary of job 2.

nodramaplz · 26/03/2025 18:47

I’d go with job 2. However, can u ask job 1 for a salary match?
TBF I could not do that travelling every day with job 1.
that wud send me over the edge

Bellavida99 · 26/03/2025 18:48

How many years of school run have you got til the kids are year 6 or at senior school ? If it all seems to daunting I’d take the local job with a view to apply for something like job 1 in a few years. But if you’ve only got a year or 2 to go until kids can get themselves to school I’d go for job 1. It’s a tough decision but whichever way you choose it doesn’t have to be forever so you can rethink after a year or 2. Well done getting 2 job offers

Crankyaboutfood · 26/03/2025 18:51

ai think i would take job 1 until my kids were just a little older. Long commutes get old fast.

Creu · 26/03/2025 19:54

100% I’d go for job 2.

stanleypops66 · 26/03/2025 20:01

Job 2 no brainer. More money and closer to home/ school.

Lassango · 26/03/2025 20:13

Job 2. The difference between a 30 minute and 90 minute round trip commute. For me convenience and a bit more money are most important when you have young children.

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