How to build back my confidence at work?

[Hotgoose]

Hi,
I’m hoping for some tips/advice/words of wisdom on building my confidence back at work.
Long story short my role changed massively when I came back from mat leave. And after that it’s been a series of little things that have really left me with no confidence anymore. But because it’s lots of little things I feel it’s hard to explain/raise at work.

A few key things were that I wasn’t given a project when others were, then spent awhile without any real work, I do now have a project but am behind my colleagues then my managers have said they don’t know what I do all day, but I can only do the work given (I have repeatedly asked for more work).
When I do my work it’s picked over to the nth degree, wording changed (not corrected, often just stylistic) and am told that it isn’t good enough. I’ve asked my manager for help but the role is new to her too and she’s not willing or able to be helpful.

I feel I can’t do right for wrong, am struggling to learn the role as I’m not being given a lot of helpful guidance, and I’m finding it’s knocking my confidence even more. I’m just walking on eggshells the whole time and it’s such an unpleasant atmosphere to the point I’ve had to speak to the Gp about anxiety.

I’m desperately looking for a new job but there’s not a lot out there. I can’t afford to quit.

The job itself is really interesting and I do enjoy it.

Is there anything anyone can suggest I do in the meantime to build up my confidence in this role? Or just to navigate the situation better? I’m hopeless at office politics and it feels all a bit like one manager has taken a bit of dislike to me and then the series of little things ((that have come from her) have mounted up.

thanks! X

lets leave the manager for a min. It might be a bit of a self fulfilling prophecy in your head in that you’ve come back from Mat leave feeling disconnected and different / less confident (been there). Then everything that happens you’re thinking oh that’s because no one likes me or I’m shit at my job … and so on. Whereas if you had been there all along you might not be as sensitive to feedback.

Now The boss may be awful too - many are! And that doesn’t help.

you need to take your power back. My advice would be what I do. I slap on a huge smile and am overly nice to everyone (even when I can’t stand my job or any of the people) and then look after yourself! Sign up for some leadership courses or management programmes. This will improve your confidence, improve your CV and you’ll meet other wonderful people outside of this office.

look out for any opportunities - side projects, training, networking - anything that makes you move in wider circles.

try to remember a job is a job and people are usually thinking about themselves rather than you.

j hope that’s useful!

Taking aside the specifics - what helped me during bad patch is a little positive book of quotes where I pick one daily, listening to motivational podcasts, using really positive self talk every time I catch a negative thought. Plus therapy.