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Hard changes

5 replies

janewayxchakotay · 18/03/2025 22:26

Basically been managed into handing in my notice. That’s done now and I don’t want to discuss it further but how does one deal with leaving a job essentially you don’t want to leave?
im taking a huge career step back into a role I enjoyed but with no responsibility and what I did at the beginning of my career. I took it as I needed a job but everything I worked for all these years has pretty much has gone.
then another part of me feels that the pressure will be less and my life might be easier. But I’ll be back to working some weekends and seeing bf kids less. But I might be a better mum with less stress.

i feel so muddled by it all. A friend said it was a mourning process and i tend to think this might be right.

OP posts:
holycrumpet · 18/03/2025 22:36

You’re struggling with a change you know is coming because you don’t want to leave.

but bottom line is you are leaving. You’ve handed in your notice.

you say you don’t want to discuss it further. I’d suggest to do you best to stop thinking about it too. If you don’t want to try and rescind your resignation, tell
yourself CHANGE IS COMING.

its inevitable. And be sure to also tell yourself that if it doesn’t go to plan, you’ll find something else.

itll be ok, just takes some time to get our heads around something unexpected

janewayxchakotay · 18/03/2025 23:04

This is so true. For me they won. They got what they wanted but it wasn’t my choice to leave I felt forced. 2.5 years I loved the role but managed awfully. Huge impact on my MH. Maybe I need to look at this as getting me life back and reducing stress
thank you for commenting

OP posts:
AcquadiP · 18/03/2025 23:09

My lovely Nan used to say to us about our various disappointments, "it wasn't meant to be, something better will come along." The older I get, the more I see the wisdom in her words. I agree with your friend, you're mourning the loss of your job which you obviously worked hard at. That's a horrible position to be put and tbh I don't think it reflects well on your old company. However, all the skills you've acquired on the way are still there and transferable. The job market we all know isn't good at the moment but in 6 months time an opportunity could pop up for you that's ideal for your skill set. In the meantime, try to stay positive and see your low stress job as temporary and a bit of a recharging exercise. Good luck.

groovergirl · 19/03/2025 02:30

Happened to me to, OP, tho within a shorter time frame. Interviewed by two people. Hired. By the morning of the first day it was clear that of those two interviewers one did not want me there. Unfortunately, she was designated my direct manager. She gave me no induction, misled me on simple questions and failed to brief me on basic matters such as permission to drive the office car. I struggled on for four months, then quit.

Had she been my employee in my previous job, I would have managed her out. But in this case, the roles were reversed, so off I went.

Sometimes you hit a bad work situation and all you can do is coolly and gracefully resign. Sounds like you've done that. Alas, these happenings are now a la mode in the shitful modern workforce. Please do not internalise this, hard tho it is to handle. It can be a personality thing, an employer-being-disingenuous thing or a numbers on the payroll thing.

If you're reverting to a less-pressured role, have a look sideways at some new skills you might acquire. Look at emerging industries such as security.

I started full-time work in 1985, and the workplace is so, so different now. Employers (in my experience) used to be brilliant in training and promoting their people. Now they just whinge and gripe and demand to bring in low-paid migrants instead of looking at who of their current workers has useful experience and could be quickly trained to do a new role.

TooManyNiblings · 19/03/2025 13:23

Can you look at it as going 'back and around' like you would in a team sport? You've taken a step back to step forward again in a slightly different direction?
This is how I am trying to look at my situation; rather than wasting 5 years in the wilderness, I have moved backwards to ultimately end up back in the career I wanted but at a higher level.
Edited to add: I wouldn't have seen it like that 5 years ago! I felt a complete failure for being managed out but I am more accepting now as I have the new job secured.

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