Feeling very teary and overwhelmed at work

[ForTealBee]

I am in my mid twenties, a trainee solicitor at a large regional firm and currently studying for the SQE exams. For those of you who’s aren’t familiar, these exams are hard.

I constantly feel overwhelmed. I’m waking in the night and having nightmares about failing my exams. I can’t concentrate at work, I feel tired and teary and like I’m constantly getting things wrong. I just feel totally overwhelmed.

but at the same time, I don’t see how I can be. I don’t have kids, a house to maintain or anything like that. I just feel so lost. What do I do?? I can’t go off sick, the team is too busy.

Do you have a manager who you can talk to to talk
through how you are feeling? Do you have any employee assistance programme or equivalent? Can you take a couple of days off from studying? Are there any bite size trainings you can be given? I would not suffer in silence.

Are the team you work with supportive? Is there an issue there that's causing a bit of your confidence crisis?

They’re definitely supportive. I feel like this because I’ve made a few small mistakes lately. Nothing catastrophic but it’s all because of how overwhelmed I feel with my exams. Between working all day, getting home and studying, I feel like I have no downtime.

Does your firm offer a 4 day work 1 day study contract, or are you expected to complete the SQE fully in your own time?

If it’s fully in your own time then it’s no wonder you’re feeling burned out.

But I’d try and look at it as a short term difficulty for a long term gain (assuming you’re enjoying working in law, it’s a bit marmite and I’ve known trainees drop out, or move industry shortly after qualification). If you really want it you have to find a way to push through - adequate and proper relaxation, mindfulness, exercise, whatever helps.

Its a tough industry in the early years though. I’d say it’s worth it in the end, but you do sometimes really have to power through.

The other option is to leave, complete your SQE, then reapply to law firms.

First and foremost, check in with your physical health and wellbeing. Look at the fundamentals: sleep, exercise, time outdoors/in nature, non-screen time, nutritious food, alcohol under control, no drug issues?

Next, any underlying health issues? Anaemia or vitamin/mineral deficiencies? Side effects of any medication?

Third, any outside stresses - relationships, money worries etc.?

If not, do speak to your boss for some support.

Just because you don’t have a house, kids etc does not mean you are not entitled to feel overwhelmed. Your feelings are as valid as anyone else’s. Your exam result doesn’t define you or any of the great work I’m sure you’ve been doing in your traineeship. From the amount you clearly care about about it, there’s no way you’re putting in anything less than your all which means you’re unlikely to fail. Take a bit of time to think about all the good stuff you’re doing. You’ve got this.

No drug issues

sleep has gone to shit the last few days. Always does before exams and this is it for the next two months. I try to get outside everyday, work is a screen and studying is on a screen. No drugs, I don’t drink alcohol. Try to eat as nutritiously as possible but it sometimes goes when life gets tough.

im trying to keep on top of my vitamins but I feel like I forget more times than I take them. I’m just so tired

OP please open up to someone at work. I work in the law (large regional firm like you) and I would hate to think that one of our trainees was feeling like this and was keeping it to themselves. It doesn’t necessarily need to be your direct manager but someone you feel comfortable talking to about this. Nothing is insurmountable.

It's a moment in time, think of what you want long term and work towards that.Don't tell people you will want to promote you and/or write your reference that you are struggling.
Find the easiest thing to do each day towards your revision and do that one thing.
Have an easy dinner every night eg jacket potato with salad and ham or slow cooker casserole and microwave rice.
Watch one episode of a sitcom every night so you can switch your brain off and relax with something that makes you feel good.
Remember how much you have already achieved and use that to propel you forwards.

Do go and see your GP and ask for a blood test. Do you have heavy periods? Check iron, B12, vitamin D. Take omega 3 fish oils and magnesium. Implement good sleep hygiene. Drink lots of water. Take time away from both work and study.

I'm a solicitor in a top 50 firm. I have colleagues doing SQE, thankfully I qualified under the old system.

Doing SQE while working is tough, be kind to yourself. Do you get a study day? Or do you have to work 5 days without time off to study because that is brutal.

Please be gentle with yourself. Try and use some annual leave to buy yourself some time.

Speak to law care, they are completely separate from your firm but specialise in supportive struggling lawyers. As a trainee you will be entitled to their assistance.

Look up whether you have an employee assistance programme or private health care that might help.

Speak to a colleague, preferably your current supervisor as they can help you manage your workload in your current seat and you'll move on in six months so won't be dealing with them long term. If you can't speak to your supervisor is there an NQ or junior solicitor who you trust? What about a fellow trainee? Don't suffer alone.

It is a tough industry but you will get through this. Lots of trainees are perfectionists put lots of pressure on themselves and struggle. For a long term sustainable career you need to learn that you can't be perfect and do everything all the time.

Please use this link https://www.lawcare.org.uk/contact-us/
@ForTealBee

I’ve put in a form at my doctors surgery, because I just don’t sleep at the moment.

I don’t know what they’ll say

So the doctor just wants to sign me off sick.

That’s normal viable in the slightest

Do speak to lawcare as they understand the industry and the pressures. Open up to someone at work too. Generally (unless you are very unlucky) management want you to succeed and recognise the difficulty of studying and working. They don't want to lose someone to stress and would rather work with you before things become unbearable.

Hi OP. Very similar situation to you. I am a trainee, have passed SQE 1 and am awaiting SQE 2 results. Things are better now as I’m not actively studying anymore (will have to again if I don’t pass of course). I know how this feels. I was signed off for 2 weeks last year despite trying to push on. I do have three children as well but whether you do or not is irrelevant, these exams are brutal whilst working. Your feelings are valid and normal. Happy to talk this through with you if you like.

I'd share with your manager the pressure of working and studying and how the GP wants to sign you off but you don't want to. Ask if you could have more work time to study.

The risk for work if nothing changes is you'll have a crisis, go off sick for longer with no notice, and end up not being able to do your exams.

OP - I would push your GP for a blood test at the very least to rule out any underlying physical issues.

It’s not physical, it’s entirely stress related

Sorry to hear how stressed you are. I qualified under the old regime, but worked recently with several trainees studying for the SQE2 and it was even worse for them (if that’s possible!) as they were in-house with no structure for learning and development, time off to study and no pastoral care to speak to about it.

As someone who also loses sleep near exams, my best advice is:
*make sure you’re getting 3 square meals a day and not under fuelling yourself. Despite what we lawyers think, coffee is not a meal and your brain will be switching off.

• I also get insomniac with stress. Is there something you find helpful to tire you out? A short run or going the gym or a home workout (takes less time!) may knock you out. Alternatively, perhaps a hot bath, watching a movie before bed - something to switch off from work might help? I know the gym helps me if work is stressful to make me too tired to think about it. *hydrate and drink plenty of water - again helps with your brain function! *who is your training principle/partner and do you feel you can you speak to them about how you’re feeling? That’s what they’re there for but I know some who shouldn’t have taken the role as they aren’t approachable!

It’s easy to say, but if you can “just” do 1-2 hours MAX each day after work, then shut the books and get on with your evening you might feel better? Or split it like gym training, pick 3 nights a week for 1-2 hours, 2 nights off then maybe a Saturday or Sunday morning pop to a coffee shop or the library for 1-2 hours? That’s plenty of revision and a lot more manageable, compartmentalises the revision and will probably let you switch off the rest of the time.

Please speak to Law Care and see if they have any other advice for you too.

Am an accountant who studied under similar pressured conditions 30+years ago. I had to find a way to have downtime, generally took Friday night and Saturday off studying as it was unproductive. I needed to structure my time to give me a bit of balance and a study timetable helped me control that. I learn better when I write things down so would take those notes on my commute.
My training partner was supportive and being understood helped, as did the odd study day /work rebalance when it could be arranged.

I do have to say I’m feeling a lot better today.

I’ve sat and revised one of my worst topics and I remember more than I thought. I slept well, I’ve done a nice long walk down to the harbour and got some vitamin d, I had a good yoghurt bowl for breakfast and I’m feeling slightly better