Time off work again

[bumblebubble23]

Is it bad to be off work again!! ?? My daughter (5) raging temp reached 41 during the night she’s settled now at 38 with calpol etc up all night. Got her in the doctors at 8.30 this morning but I’m on a temporary contract at work, had 5 days off with her 6 weeks ago, he’s just seems to pick everything up. Yes, I have mentioned this to the GP numerous times about her being poor often and high temp they tell me it’s normal. Do you think work will not keep me on, this is their week to decide as my contract runs out this week. I’ve rang family etc this morning no one else available to have her, but also I’d rather take her to the appointment and look after her, as she’s poorly and will want me.

No one an indicate if you're work will keep you on. I hope your wee one feels better soon.

Can her dad not look after her

I guess it'll depend on the quality of your work when you're actually there, what the job is, if your contract needs to be extended anyway, how understanding your temp employer is. There's a lot of aspects.

Hope your wee one recovers soon.

Gosh, that is a lot of time off. What is your long-term plan re-absences? Because you only have so much annual leave. If your daughters other parent is not taking half of the hit then this is unfair, of course if they are not on the scene then thats off the table but you need a plan because you will have no leave left for the school holidays (and you can only cover half as it is!!).

I work in a school luckily, and also take the time off with my daughter unpaid. My partner, her dad, thinks me earning less than him means I should always be the parent who stays at home if she’s ill.

And that’s all well and good until you get fired for poor attendance at work.
Sometimes sharing it even if it means you lose a bit of money short term is better as you still guarantee that second salary.

Well this simply isn't sustainable. He needs to accept his responsibility as a parent and take time off also. Why should your career suffer?! You will at best become resented by your colleagues because they are always picking up the slack, at worst you will be dismissed.

It's also worth remembering that unpaid emergency leave is there to give you one or two days to make arrangements, parental leave is to be taken in week-long blocks booked in advance. So your employer does not have to give you 5 days off when your child is sick. This is why you split it with your husband.

In that case, it doesn't look good from any employer's point of view.

I'd be buggered if I'd employ someone who wasn't a single parent but expected me and my team, to keep taking the hit for a feckless dad.

As an employer would not be happy about this

This is your problem.

As an employer, I'm very understanding towards parents who need time off for sick children, but if there are two parents in the picture, I would expect both to share the load. I am afraid I would lose patience if you were sucking it all up while your partner did fuck all.

Is he usually a misogynist prick?

I would add, it's very worrying that you said partner and not husband. If you aren't married, I certainly wouldn't be compromising your own earning potential by picking up all of the slack with childcare.

He's right in principle, as long as he's able and willing to support the family as the sole breadwinner if you lose your job due to poor attendance. Is he?

Yes and gets very annoyed if I point it out

This is the problem. At my work this would lead to them not taking you in. A sick child can’t be helped but my work expects you to share equally with your partner which is fair enough.

OK, that's difficult, OP, but very important in that case that you retain your own earning potential.

Sounds like you'd be better off out of the relationship than in it?

Not really, last night when I explained all of this to him he said well you need to find a better paid job anyway? Me thinking a better paid job but one where I wouldn’t get school holidays and would need to pay childcare, I go round in circles with him.

Sounds like the childcare issue is the tip of the iceberg, OP.

I know this about our relationship, that’s a different thread. I think he would extremely difficult if we were to split. In regards to asking for joint custody etc even though I do 95% of childcare and house work as well as working full time. I do every, dentist, doctors A and E visits when needed. Make tea every night clean up after, bath and bed time. Make kids pack lunches. All the clothes washing etc as well but you know he’s in construction and his job is so physically tiring 🙄 I just feel like this is my life I’m afraid until kids are older then we’ll separate

I work in a school and it is really hard when people are off frequently. As a member of support staff, we don't usually get a supply to cover and yet the work still has to be done. I am supposed to attend some important training related to my role this week, but I've had to cancel it as a couple of people have called in sick today and I cannot be spared. At times, I have also been called away from my usual role to cover sick colleagues and this then has a knock on effect on the children I would normally support. Although you are taking the time unpaid, that still doesn't help the work get done.

Cool, so tomorrow you go into work and tell (not ask) him that it's his turn today.

Problem solved.

Hhmmm I'd be a bit pissed off with that attitude. Does he get emergency leave at work? My DH and I share it, I out earn him by around £30k but don't use this as a way to shirk