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Original poster

Is employer allowed to say this?

21 replies

monathevampire · 12/05/2008 22:54

In appraisal - that I am 'often distracted by my responsibilities outside work' - ie. my 15 month old baby?

OP posts:
pinkteddy · 12/05/2008 22:57

Well I would say it is completely inappropriate but it depends in what context. Why do you think your boss said this? Have you taken a lot of time off work to sort out child care etc for example?

Original poster
monathevampire · 12/05/2008 22:59

no, no, it was more in a "can be distracted" but no performance issues relating from it, or to back it up

don't know how annoyed to be. and whether to make a fuss.

he said it because he is naive about familt responsibilites, I suppose

have never raken time off illegally, etc etc

OP posts:
PeaGreene · 12/05/2008 22:59

Depends on what you're doing. If it's once in a while that you ahve to sort out your home life I'd say that's fine. If it's a regular occurence, could it be affecting the amount of time you spend actually working?

Did your boss specify what the problem is?

Original poster
monathevampire · 12/05/2008 23:00

no, no prblem, in fact got a really good appraisal

just feel quite irked about it still

OP posts:
PeaGreene · 12/05/2008 23:01

sorry, x posts. If there's no performance issues relating to it, then it's seems completely irrelevant. Is it in the actual notes or was it verbal?

fym · 12/05/2008 23:02

I'd go to HR and get it removed!

Original poster
monathevampire · 12/05/2008 23:05

in the notes

OP posts:
Original poster
monathevampire · 12/05/2008 23:06

you can ask for voluntary feedback from various people, and I did, and that's what got put in

OP posts:
Miggsie · 12/05/2008 23:07

If this is truly a problem for them then:
it should have been mentioned to you previously outside the appraisal
Commenting on personal issues is not appropriate for an appraisal
An appropriate comment for an appraisal would have been "difficulty concentrating in work environement" but still, it should have been mentioned to you previously outside the appraisal.
The phrasing is poor and you should ask for it to be withdrawn or rephrased.
Was this comment followed by a SMART target to address this "performance problem"?
This was the wrong forum to bring this up.
What is their overall attitude to mothers with young children or those with care responsibilities, is it systemic?
Are there other people who, say, organise their social life during work hours (my office has a few)...are they upbraided about this?
Ask them to be specific about your job performance. If you were consistently late or leaving early they could complain, but again, not in an appraisal, and again, it should be couched in work terms such as "consistently late" NOT "spends too much time at the nursery" or similar.
Ask for it to be withdrawn.

Original poster
monathevampire · 12/05/2008 23:10

thanks, Miggsie

I really think I am going to have to pursue this as I have never had ANY performance issues, in fact quite the opposite

do I go to HR in first instance? haven't even told dh yet, he'll go mad

OP posts:
PeaGreene · 12/05/2008 23:11

If it's in your notes and has no relevance to your performance, I'd definitely ask to have it removed. I've done similar myself.

pinkteddy · 12/05/2008 23:13

Agree with miggsie, didn't realise it had actually been put in writing! I would definitely ask for it to be removed. Is this an isolated incident or have there been other subtle or not so subtle comments that could be deemed discriminatory?

Personally I would keep a secret note of it in case I needed evidence to make a discrimination case later but up to you!

Original poster
monathevampire · 12/05/2008 23:13

I "think" it can easily be removed as the feedback thing was a voluntary addition to the appraisal - just feel it's really below the belt

OP posts:
PeaGreene · 12/05/2008 23:13

I'd start with the person who did the appraisal. Ask why he needed to put that in there, explain that an appraisal should be about performance and that this isn't relevant. If you get no joy there, then go to HR but hopefully avoid that. Sounds like a misunderstanding on his part, naivety as you say.

Original poster
monathevampire · 12/05/2008 23:13

Pinkteddy - my initial thoughts exactly! as one day I may be in that situation....

OP posts:
Original poster
monathevampire · 12/05/2008 23:15

yes, I mean, I am getting the highest-level bonus, so it's not a perf issue, I suppose, but it is REALLY annoying

OP posts:
gomez · 12/05/2008 23:16

If it is feedback then is it not from a co-worker rather than your employer? If so I am not sure really what you want done with it - if you do a 360 degree type thing don't you need to take it on the chin that in fact that is what someone thinks?

Apologies if I have misunderstood.

Original poster
monathevampire · 12/05/2008 23:18

Gomez, yes, it is 360

but someone above me

suppose I feel put out!

OP posts:
gomez · 12/05/2008 23:24

Aye, see those 360's are a bugger!

Don't feel put out - work out why they feel that way and deal with it. It clearly hasn't affected your work - hence good appraisal - but if a superior has that view then it may have an impact further down the line, regardless of whether valid or not.

They may of course just be grumpy gits - in which case not a lot you can do but maybe there is.

Enjoy your bonus!

Original poster
monathevampire · 12/05/2008 23:33

yeah, they are voluntary still too!

why did I do it???

OP posts:
gomez · 12/05/2008 23:36

Better to know tho' and deal with it surely?

Or at least repay the compliment should the opportunity arise.......

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