Anxiety about a staff member

[ilovedogsme]

Just need some advice really on how to manage my anxiety - I have a member of staff off sick at the moment, due to have a meeting with them next week to see how they are getting on (off with stress). Thing is, if they do come back from sick, they will be getting suspended for something they did immediately prior to going off sick. A lot of other things have come out of the woodwork when we have done the investigation. Also has a suspected drug problem which was apparent before going off. They are volatile and when i last saw them they were all over the place mentally. If they decide to come back I will have to have a meeting with them face to face and go over all allegations and interview them. It's not the first time have had issues with this member off staff and last time he tried to throw his colleagues under the bus, I feel he will try this tactic with me.

I do not like confrontation and i've not slept for weeks worrying about how they are going to react and what they are going to try and say. If it goes to disciplinary are they going to say stuff about me. I have done so much for this member of staff, but i think they will be like a dog backed into a corner and attack anyway they can.

I want to say - I am not heartless, but this person has been found to be underhand, has been lying, undermining authority, strong accusations of stealing, working whilst off sick but no physical proof, etc.

Just dot the i’s and cross the t’s keep it factual,professional and procedural

this may sound harsh and cynical but our union advises anyone in trouble to go off with stress and MH as then HR proceed with kid gloves and caution

Thank you

Have you had any difficult conversation training? It can be really useful for situations like this.

No, no training, I'm a Manager but worked my way up, I have no formal qualifications

Do you have an HR function? I'd want HR in the meeting too and, potentially, my boss as well. I'm an experienced manager but wouldn't be facing someone who is potentially volatile alone.

Do you have an HR department? If so ask them for support.

I work in a large organisation, we don't investigate our own staff - another manager does it. It removes potential conflict or bias. Managers are often witnesses too. Are you sure you'll be the one required to do it?

I have to take a statement from them to get their version of events and a few questions about other allegations, then suspend pending further investigation.

Another Manager will then do the actual investigation before providing doing the outcome hearing

HR will be on the online meeting next week and will be involved in the outcome meeting but just me doing the interview with them. We do have security onsite.

I’d separate the two things. The being off sick is what is being discussed so stick to that, let them talk and give you the info needed.

Once back in work, follow the hr procedures carefully and closely for the other issue.

Follow procedures carefully. The two issues are separate. Do the return to work and complete that action.

get support from your manager about the other part and explain to them how you are feeling. Can you have an independent person there for protection of both you and the person under investigation? You don’t deserve to be this stressed at work or you will be off too

speak to ACAS

If it’s a gross misconduct level meeting then you need accompanying by someone from the business to take minutes and and/or act as a witness to protect yourself and the company from any employment claims that may result. That is standard business practice and you would not be seen badly for raising that request to the business. Likewise he should be offered the opportunity to have a witness with them.

They don't have a right to return to work if they are to be suspended for other reasons. I would say to HR that you don't want to do the meeting alone. That's reasonable.

Don't meet 1:1. Have another person there to take notes (be your witness). Before the meeting, explain that X will be taking notes so that everything is recorded. That way they can't say they were ambushed.
Good luck.

Investigation completed and disciplinary hearing imminent. I am trying to talk myself down off the ceiling, I feel sick. I am not going to be in on the meeting but this person is all over the place and volatile and I am dreading him saying things to try and get me as his Manager into trouble. To be clear, I am a worrier, i've tried to calm down and my stomach is just one big knot. Who knows what he will say

Sounds like a staff member I have !
Keep it factual and professional.
Try to remove your emotions if you can as if staff members like him spy weakness they play on it.
I think we all dread these type of conversations if I’m honest but unfortunately it’s a part of managing staff.