I am HOPELESS at job interviews - please help!

[daffsandcrocuses]

Had an interview yesterday for a role that I'm very well qualified for. However, for some reason, I go to absolute pieces in interviews - I really cannot fathom why this is. I am currently freelance and have to meet new people and present/pitch quite regularly - I am absolutely fine with that, sometimes people say I'm great at it!

But put me in front of an interviewer, particularly if there's more than one person asking questions, and I just get SO nervous. My mind goes blank, I ramble on, I sound shaky and fail to make myself clear.

I've read and listened to various things about interview technique and staying calm beforehand. I always prepare really well, have notes, questions lined up etc...and yet, I am awful at it.

Can anyone relate? I've had a couple of interviews lately - been turned down for each of them - and they seem to be getting worse. Weirdly this one yesterday was the best match for me but if anything, it was my worst interview yet.

I am beginning to feel hopeless and really down on myself. Can anyone relate or offer any guidance?

I would either, at the start or end of an interview, explain yourself just as you have done here. It might come across a little weak or they could appreciate your candor. Either way you can’t do yourself anymore harm than performing poorly. I don’t know if it did me any good, but my last interview at the end I just said this was my first interview in 25 years so apologies if I’ve come across a little nervous, I got the job.

I find when I get stressed my mind goes blank too, not good for interviews. I found it helped to not think of it as an interview, treat it as a chat with someone who wanted to know about me and my skills/experience etc, like just meeting someone new at work. I also didn't put too much importance on getting the job, even if I really wanted it. Just a "what will be, will be" attitude. Not easy to do but with practice gets easier. Also ask for feedback after unsuccessful interview. Good luck.

I used to be terrible at interviews. So much that my last boss told me that she’d have never had hired me based on it. I used to get a sweaty face, rush my words, mumble. It was awful. I then spoke to my friend who changed my mindset; an interview is a chance to decide if this is a job for you. For you to judge the working environment and the people to see if you think you’d fit in.
I’ve also spent a couple of months unemployed and it made me realise that no one would die if I didn’t get that particular job. There will always be another one.
Good luck OP, I hope you find what works for you.

I sympathise, I’m terrible too. It’s ironic in the extreme given I’m a senior professional who does loads of interviewing of others, but knowing what to do and managing to do it in interviews for yourself are two different things! So I totally relate. I have not yet found an answer unfortunately, it’s hard. I’ve started looking on the internet for TED talks, etc to see if I can glean some insights into how to be better. Fingers crossed for us both op.

I’ve had loads of interviews is the last couple of months, some good, some disasters.

are there particular types of questions you get stuck on?

I do OK on the ‘tell me about a time’ type of questions but I’ve got a bank of answers for most types of questions.

I do badly at strengths and weaknesses, what do your friends and family think about you, how would your colleagues rate you type of things. Im not great at selling myself.

To prepare I usually upload the JD to chatGPT and ask it to write interview questions which gives me a starting point to prepare answers.

I can be prone to rambling on and forgetting the question and the point I’m trying to make, so to have prepped answers really helps me.

You’re obviously good at selling yourself if you can pitch to potential clients.

Thanks so much for the advice and solidarity! @Slawit - at the first of my recent interviews, I did say to one of the panel as she showed me out at the end 'sorry if I seemed really nervous'' and she said that I didn't at all! However, I didn't get the role and I have only been getting worse since 😔

@Peaceloveandhappiness and @Chocolate85 - thank you. I try to do both these things, see it as having a chat, and also to keep in my mind that I'm also seeing if it's right for me. But I never seem to quite pull it off. It's awful! But it's good to know, @Chocolate85 - that you DID get your role in the end! I know I put in strong written applications, and hopefully my past experience counts for something.

It doesn't help though, that an element of the roles I'm applying for will always involve a degree of meeting new people, pitching and so on. I feel as if they're thinking 'how will she come across to clients?!' I always want to say 'I'm honestly NOT like this when I'm not being interviewed, trust me!' 😂

Anyone else got any tips to share?

@freshprincess - thanks so much. I hope that you have found a new role now, or are you still looking?

I tend to often stumble over the role specific questions, the sort of 'how would you propose to do xyz?' questions. That is a brilliant idea to upload the JD into the chat GPT though, I will do that next time...though I absolutely dread the thought of future interviews.

I also really don't like the 'tell us about your experience' when they have my CV in front of them anyway, I don't know why but I always just ramble on and forget to highlight the things that are most relevant!

Weirdly I don't mind the strengths and weaknesses/how would colleagues describe you type questions.

Interviews are about being genuine and making people like you. If you're qualified for the job, they know that already. Stop thinking that you have to come up with the perfect answer that is written on their sheet. If things are this bad, I'd recommend explaining this to the hiring manager via email before the interview.
'I'm very keen on this job and excited to interview. However, I must tell you I get quite nervous in particular for interviews because this matters a lot to me. Please bear with me'
Something like that. You've then set the stage and actually taken pressure off yourself.
If it's a job that doesn't require you to be in meetings with clients etc and speak under pressure then this shouldn't be an issue. However if it's a job where not having the ability to confidently blag an interview would affect your ability to do the job, I'd say it'd be tricky to get around.
Good luck, interviewers are just people. You've gotta imagine what they were doing before the interview, imagine them checking their phone, eating their lunch etc. They just wanna have a nice chat and get to know you.
In interviews I really like to ask them about themselves, people LOVE to talk about themselves. Then suddenly the interview time is up (their fault) and they really like you because you've been interested in them.
Good luck

Thanks @Rubyrhi123 - all great food for thought. You are so right about getting people to talk about themselves. I find this is a bit trickier when there's a panel, but yes...x

I get that. Maybe have some questions prepared for them that you can throw back at the panel end of an answer if you can't get to know an interviewer personally 1:1. I found the questions below with a Google search. Getting them to open up and talk instead of quite a robotic Q&A style interview might also make things feel more relaxed. You should be able to throw these in at the end of your answer. Say they ask you how you've overcome a challenge at work; give your answer then ask them what are the biggest challenges the team are currently facing. They'll probably love this and it'll give you some more information and set up for what they might want to hear in your next answers.
What kind of jobs are you interviewing for? Sounds quite serious if you're in front of a panel xx

What are the key priorities for this role in the next 3-6 months?
What are the biggest challenges the team is currently facing?
What does a successful person in this role look like?
What are the opportunities for growth and development within the company?
Can you describe a typical day in this role?
How does this role contribute to the overall goals of the company?
How does this team typically collaborate?
How is performance measured in this role?