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Original poster

New graduate daughter can’t find work

371 replies

Bluelagoon02 · 11/03/2025 18:55

This is my first post so please be kind to me. I’m writing about my daughter who graduated last July (2024). Although she managed to get some interviews she hasn’t been able to secure anything yet. Her moods are quiet low and she also lost touch with most of her Uni friends. I’m seriously concerned for her physical and mental wellbeing. She was always very shy but Uni life really helped her develop. She was totally transformed and happy too. She also lived in Spain for a whole year which was part of her Uni business course. This is so frustrating but I can’t get upset with her. She has been looking for anything and keeps receiving rejection after rejection. It’s so heartbreaking to see her so sad and alone in her room all the time. I also looked for jobs for her but she does prefer to keep looking herself. She also applied for volunteering work with no success. I am very scared to lose her if something doesn’t come up soon. Any advice is truly appreciated. Thank you

OP posts:
Original poster
Bluelagoon02 · 16/03/2025 11:08

SteveTP · 16/03/2025 10:01

@Bluelagoon02 Some ideas to add for consideration…

For immediate here and now money, she could use her language skills and provide online conversation practise and coaching to pupils studying at GCSE/ A level. Also, she could coach students doing Business Studies at A level. Companies like Tutor Crunch - there are a few good ones - are worth talking to.

Tour guiding companies always need guides that are fluent in European languages. My sister guides visitors who are French and German who arrive via Dover and Southampton and day-trip to London, Canterbury and other south coast places of interest.

Casinos are always looking for people to train as croupiers - there is a high dropout rate because of the antisocial hours.

For medium term money, she could train as a management accountant or an auditing accountant. This would directly support her Business Administration aspirations and they take people at all levels (GCSE, A and degree level). The thing with accountancy is that progression is based on passing professional exams - similarly for Purchasing and Supply specialisms. Companies like AZETs and RSM are always advertising for trainees. They seem to have a rolling recruitment process.

I would also echo those who suggested the Civil Service. They train you well and training in being a commercial/ contracts person is directly transferable to the private sector.

Finally she could also consider the military. And apply for a short service commission or one of the admin trades. Both would give great training and don’t necessarily involve being sent into harm’s way.

It is very dispiriting being continually knocked back. I hope she gets something soon.

@SteveTP many thanks for the above. Any suggestions given is appreciated.

OP posts:
TheWildZebra · 16/03/2025 13:31

This is so tough, and something I struggled with from my BSc through to Masters so I can sympathise. It’s taken me 5 years to find the right role for myself after many many rejections. I’m now hiring people this age and many of them have generic degrees like your daughters (generic doesn’t mean bad, actually it should be seen as an opportunity because she’s not overly specialist in a particular area so it keeps her options open).

when I’m hiring I don’t look for “experts” or “specialists”, I’m looking for people who can demonstrate they:

  • turn up to work on time
  • are dependable
  • work honestly
  • are curious to learn and see a job as more than something that pays the bills
  • show initiative
  • have some kind of a vision that drives them of a world they want to be part of.
My first jobs were:
  • working at a stables mucking out horses (dependable, showed up on time, committed). I got this through messaging people on Facebook.
  • working as an admin assistant in a summer school, got this through a local recruitment agent.
  • volunteering as a community litter picker (not a job obviously but showed initiative as starting something myself because I saw a problem that needed fixing, demonstrate i got others to help).

most of all, it sounds like she needs to build her confidence, and that’s not going to be very easy if she has poor mental health and anxiety.

good luck, everyone’s journey is different. She’ll look back in 5/10 years time and it’ll be a distant memory and she’ll thank you for all the support! ❤️

Original poster
Bluelagoon02 · 16/03/2025 14:37

TheWildZebra · 16/03/2025 13:31

This is so tough, and something I struggled with from my BSc through to Masters so I can sympathise. It’s taken me 5 years to find the right role for myself after many many rejections. I’m now hiring people this age and many of them have generic degrees like your daughters (generic doesn’t mean bad, actually it should be seen as an opportunity because she’s not overly specialist in a particular area so it keeps her options open).

when I’m hiring I don’t look for “experts” or “specialists”, I’m looking for people who can demonstrate they:

  • turn up to work on time
  • are dependable
  • work honestly
  • are curious to learn and see a job as more than something that pays the bills
  • show initiative
  • have some kind of a vision that drives them of a world they want to be part of.
My first jobs were:
  • working at a stables mucking out horses (dependable, showed up on time, committed). I got this through messaging people on Facebook.
  • working as an admin assistant in a summer school, got this through a local recruitment agent.
  • volunteering as a community litter picker (not a job obviously but showed initiative as starting something myself because I saw a problem that needed fixing, demonstrate i got others to help).

most of all, it sounds like she needs to build her confidence, and that’s not going to be very easy if she has poor mental health and anxiety.

good luck, everyone’s journey is different. She’ll look back in 5/10 years time and it’ll be a distant memory and she’ll thank you for all the support! ❤️

@TheWildZebra Ohh bless you ❤️

I know it’s going to be difficult. You finish Uni with some kind of ideas and the desire to finally be independent. But the road is very steep full of obstacles.
You are right though, her degree in International Business and Management with a Modern language is generic. However, being able to speak three languages and advantage, so we thought. She never wanted to continue her studies by doing a Master. Research suggests that it’s not often necessary to get a decent job. Plus the prospect of increasing her current student loan not an attraction. In the end it’s about finding yourself in the right place at the right time willing to give the very best of what you got, in terms of knowledge and skills.
All I can say is that at first she did amazing at her interviews with some impressive companies too. One was based in NEW YORK CITY with offices near Covent Garden, London. She managed to go through to three interviews process but in the end they went for somebody with more experience.
She also received many rejections. Often she doesn’t hear back at all which it’s very sad and soul destroying.
I hope that she’ll smile again soon. She is a lovely girl with so much to offer.

Thanks for your beautiful words 😊

OP posts:
SpringLambie · 16/03/2025 16:49

When you say the other people had more experience, where these new graduates the same age. If they are then she needs to be chasing the same kind of experiences. I’m assuming either generic work experience or internships.

BooneyBeautiful · 16/03/2025 20:06

After my DS finished at university, he got quite depressed. Apparently, this is quite common. For at least three years they have been busy studying for their degree, then all of sudden they are having to focus on finding employment. He went to the GP who put him on citalopram which really helped.

In the meantime, he was doing a bar job that he had also been doing when he was home for the holidays. He registered with a recruitment agency and after about 16 months he found a local job relevant to his degree. He did really well there and was able to move onto another job with more money and was able to gain more experience. Hope your DD finds something soon.

Original poster
Bluelagoon02 · 16/03/2025 21:12

SpringLambie · 16/03/2025 16:49

When you say the other people had more experience, where these new graduates the same age. If they are then she needs to be chasing the same kind of experiences. I’m assuming either generic work experience or internships.

@SpringLambie No idea I’m afraid.

OP posts:
Original poster
Bluelagoon02 · 16/03/2025 21:17

BooneyBeautiful · 16/03/2025 20:06

After my DS finished at university, he got quite depressed. Apparently, this is quite common. For at least three years they have been busy studying for their degree, then all of sudden they are having to focus on finding employment. He went to the GP who put him on citalopram which really helped.

In the meantime, he was doing a bar job that he had also been doing when he was home for the holidays. He registered with a recruitment agency and after about 16 months he found a local job relevant to his degree. He did really well there and was able to move onto another job with more money and was able to gain more experience. Hope your DD finds something soon.

@BooneyBeautiful Did your son go to the GP on his own ? Meaning did he understand himself he needed help ?
So glad things worked out for you in the end.

OP posts:
Original poster
Bluelagoon02 · 17/03/2025 15:07

Dillythedallyduck · 11/03/2025 19:01

Sorry to hear that, it can be tough with no experience. What sort of thing is she looking for?
Is she holding out for work from home or hybrid jobs? If so they tend to be much more competitive than in person jobs.
Which area are you in and would she be prepared to move areas to get a job?

Maybe she could join an agency and do some temping as a way to get experience and make contacts?

@Dillythedallyduck She looked for anything. She is not fussy just wants to build up some experience related to her studies. It's hard going. She was full of vitality and happy too.

OP posts:
Original poster
Bluelagoon02 · 17/03/2025 15:08

Dolambslikemintsauce · 11/03/2025 19:01

My dd got herself a bar job... And a job opportunity came via a customer! She has been in that company for over 10 years and is high up now.... And well bloody paid!!

@Dolambslikemintsauce Very lucky indeed.

OP posts:
Original poster
Bluelagoon02 · 17/03/2025 15:18

hereismydog · 11/03/2025 19:05

Is she only looking for jobs relevant to what she’s just done her degree in? If so, I’d encourage her to look for any job to close the gap between finishing uni and starting work and continue her search for a job that she actually wants in the meantime. Gets her earning and shows future employers that she’s adaptable.

Also when you say ‘lose her’, do you mean you are afraid she might try to take her own life? If you are truly concerned that her mental health is so poor that she might do that, she needs help ASAP.

Edited

@hereismydog I am concerned about her mental health but won't be able to do much because she is an adult. I spoke to a gentleman from the CAMHS adult team he confirmed that she would need to acknowledge her issues for them to offer her support. Hopefully things will improve soon but this is how it works unfortunately.

OP posts:
mathanxiety · 17/03/2025 15:36

With her languages, she could probably get an entry level job on a cruise ship and see a little of a few nice parts of the world too.

Original poster
Bluelagoon02 · 17/03/2025 15:55

TheOTC · 13/03/2025 14:59

Going to a top university doesn't even guarantee a job. My DS has a 2.1 from a really top tier 1 UK Uni. He then went to a tier 2 uni (but still RG)for master's and got a merit. Still found the job market incredibly hard

@TheOTC I know it's just insane. I don't think I could advice her to do a Master given what I heard.

OP posts:
TheOTC · 17/03/2025 16:10

Bluelagoon02 · 17/03/2025 15:55

@TheOTC I know it's just insane. I don't think I could advice her to do a Master given what I heard.

Show quote history

My DS did one because it gave him something to do for a year and allowed him another year of being allowed to apply for grad roles. It did work out in the end

Original poster
Bluelagoon02 · 17/03/2025 16:23

PattyDukeAstin · 13/03/2025 12:32

I am I right in thinking that both you and your daughter appear to be very anxious. You talk about being 'scared for your daughter'. She's at home, healthy, eating, helping around the house and achieved her degree - lots to be pleased about. You mentioned another poster being harsh but surely you realised how hard the job market is (has been since covid) and that graduates rarely 'step into a job.' I would suggest any job, any hours - cleaning, tutoring, a few hours here or there. I have a friendly, charming son with disabilities - SS allocated us 6 hours a week support to get him out of the house - we couldn't get anyone because the hours were so low... we just wanted someone to take him to the cinema, the park...but it would work for your daughter..6 hours support, some hours tutoring, some hours cleaning..still time to apply for jobs/undergraduate schemes. I would say she needs to take the pressure off, build up some hours in different places, breathe a bit and accept she has to play the longer game.

Edited

@PattyDukeAstin Our anxiety is so totally different. I am just a worried Mum who wants the best for her child and is so very sad to see her broken. I understand that Covid made the job market very difficult. Brexit too. It's just hell out there. Young people really need to fight twice as hard to get somewhere. However it's the loneliness and isolation that concerns me the most. That it's something I can not fight of change much. A young 22yrs old lady wants to be with people of her own age not with her parents . And it is sad to see that most of her friends abandoned her just because she doesn't work. Although I feel that she stopped seeing them because she feels embarrassed about it. Thanks for the advice anyway.

OP posts:
Original poster
Bluelagoon02 · 17/03/2025 16:29

LadeOde · 13/03/2025 11:50

@LadeOde I checked them both. Sadly she is too young. They need 26 years old +. Thanks anyway.

OP posts:
Blissfulsunnyday · 17/03/2025 17:14

It must be heartbreaking. It is hard to get that first job but she should not give up. I would suggest getting into a routine, a couple of hours job hunting per day and then occupy herself with other things she is interested; online courses, reading, gym, a sports club, etc.

I would also recommend mindfulness. There are some good meditations in YouTube from the mindful movement.

m.youtube.com/watch?v=DWEDGO3kpt8&pp=ygUUbW91bnRhaW4gb2Ygc3RyZW5ndGg%3D

jeanne16 · 17/03/2025 17:14

Has she looked at Teach First? With 3 languages, she should be sought after.

PattyDukeAstin · 17/03/2025 17:16

Bluelagoon02 · 17/03/2025 15:18

@hereismydog I am concerned about her mental health but won't be able to do much because she is an adult. I spoke to a gentleman from the CAMHS adult team he confirmed that she would need to acknowledge her issues for them to offer her support. Hopefully things will improve soon but this is how it works unfortunately.

Show quote history

I don't understand why you would speak to someone from CAMHS as your DD is an adult. Also, why does she need mental health support - surely she's just a bit unhappy because she's yet to secure a graduate job or have I missed something.

Original poster
Bluelagoon02 · 17/03/2025 17:32

FrozenFeathers · 12/03/2025 09:22

This is unfortunately pretty common for recent graduates. Companies want experience, but you can't get experience without a job. That initial hurdle can be really tough. I think at this point any job is good, even if it is not remotely related to her degree or aspirations.

@FrozenFeathers It's deffo very hard these days no matter how hard you try.

OP posts:
Original poster
Bluelagoon02 · 17/03/2025 17:38

WifeofBathtime · 12/03/2025 09:34

Thanks for your reply. We are in Herts. My daughter applied for virtually anything, prioritising marketing which is her main field. She was hoping to find some temp work during the Christmas period but worked out that jobs in shops especially, are given to younger people. I mean it might not be the case for most shops of course but that’s the trend. She recently joined a couple of temping agencies. Her CV is uploaded all over the place, including LinkedIn and Indeed of course.

I don't think it's true that shops employ younger people. Many do take on A level students but your DD is just 21/22.

I hate to say it but it does come over as if she's not trying that hard to get any work. She will have left uni 9 months ago. I know it sounds harsh but she's left it late to join agencies.

She needs to consider volunteering- your local government website (for Herts) has lists of opportunities. Many charities often want volunteers with marketing skills.

Or, literally walking into shops and cafes and handing over her CV, asking if they have vacancies.

She has to stop 'just' applying for jobs related to her degree, as any work experience is better than none.

If she has no work experience at all (ie when she was at school or uni) it won't look good. Soft skills are as important as a degree.

I also suggest she gets someone to look over her CV- she may not be presenting herself as well as she could.

Take the advice here - she needs to contact the careers dept of her uni and talk to them.

As I said, both my DCs who went to Russell unis and got great degrees did 'menial' work for 6 months while they were registered with agencies.

One was offered very menial temp work (through an agency) in a company aligned to their degree, got chatting to someone in the staff cafe who realised they had a science degree, was interviewed for a job within the company (and got it.)

Please encourage her to do more and not expect anything to fall into her lap.

Edited

@WifeofBathtime Trust me she has tried ever so hard. Although your comment is somewhat true it is also not very fair. She never expected anything to fall into her lap.😐

OP posts:
Original poster
Bluelagoon02 · 17/03/2025 17:42

PattyDukeAstin · 17/03/2025 17:16

I don't understand why you would speak to someone from CAMHS as your DD is an adult. Also, why does she need mental health support - surely she's just a bit unhappy because she's yet to secure a graduate job or have I missed something.

Show quote history

@PattyDukeAstin It was a gentleman I found at the Employment Hub last week. I never wanted to speak to someone from the mental health adult team. He was very supportive and kind though.

OP posts:
PattyDukeAstin · 17/03/2025 18:12

@Bluelagoon02 - sorry, you did say you spoke to someone from the CAMHS adult team' which was a bit confusing. Also, your daughter is an adult maybe be a bit more careful about sharing her information.

Woollyguru · 17/03/2025 18:22

I really feel for her because I was kind of in a similar situation after being SAHM for a long time, trying to get back into work was very very hard and I did get quite depressed.

I volunteered for a year at a local charity which I really enjoyed and it 100% helped with getting my first job.

I find it hard to believe that every single one of her friends has got a job given how hard it is. Are you sure that's the case?

If you think she is depressed you should try and gently broach the subject with her and let her know there's help out there. She could go to her GP or there are lots of great charities like Mind or YoungMinds which will definitely be able to offer support.

Original poster
Bluelagoon02 · 17/03/2025 19:04

Woollyguru · 17/03/2025 18:22

I really feel for her because I was kind of in a similar situation after being SAHM for a long time, trying to get back into work was very very hard and I did get quite depressed.

I volunteered for a year at a local charity which I really enjoyed and it 100% helped with getting my first job.

I find it hard to believe that every single one of her friends has got a job given how hard it is. Are you sure that's the case?

If you think she is depressed you should try and gently broach the subject with her and let her know there's help out there. She could go to her GP or there are lots of great charities like Mind or YoungMinds which will definitely be able to offer support.

@Woollyguru Sadly it is the case. I find it incredible but they all do something or further studies. This time last year my daughter was preparing herself to run the London marathon for Dementia UK.

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