New graduate daughter can’t find work

[Bluelagoon02]

This is my first post so please be kind to me. I’m writing about my daughter who graduated last July (2024). Although she managed to get some interviews she hasn’t been able to secure anything yet. Her moods are quiet low and she also lost touch with most of her Uni friends. I’m seriously concerned for her physical and mental wellbeing. She was always very shy but Uni life really helped her develop. She was totally transformed and happy too. She also lived in Spain for a whole year which was part of her Uni business course. This is so frustrating but I can’t get upset with her. She has been looking for anything and keeps receiving rejection after rejection. It’s so heartbreaking to see her so sad and alone in her room all the time. I also looked for jobs for her but she does prefer to keep looking herself. She also applied for volunteering work with no success. I am very scared to lose her if something doesn’t come up soon. Any advice is truly appreciated. Thank you

My God @greatfrontage I appreciate honesty however, out of the people who replied under my post you are the only one who sounds very harsh.
Like you I think that her degree is rather generic but she can speak three languages and fluently too. She got a 2.1 and worked very hard for it which I am terribly proud of. In my initial post I asked to be kind being my first one. I am hurting terribly to see my child suffers so much. My advice is to try to be kinder because you just don’t know who you have on the other side. Thanks for your links btw.

Kindly, I don’t see anything harsh in that post @Bluelagoon02

It’s just advice.

@OP, Pls pass on this volunteering role to her:

Volunteering Opportunity: Marketing/PR/Journalism/Creative writing with The Harpenden Trust | Communities 1st

@OriginalUsername2 Really ? Do you think that it’s totally ok to tell someone that their degree is generic and for that it is not surprising they haven’t landed into any jobs yet ? I would invite you to read the post again. Having said that it might as well be true. It is not my fault if uni courses lead you to believe the impossible. In the end you live and learn.

I am I right in thinking that both you and your daughter appear to be very anxious. You talk about being 'scared for your daughter'. She's at home, healthy, eating, helping around the house and achieved her degree - lots to be pleased about. You mentioned another poster being harsh but surely you realised how hard the job market is (has been since covid) and that graduates rarely 'step into a job.' I would suggest any job, any hours - cleaning, tutoring, a few hours here or there. I have a friendly, charming son with disabilities - SS allocated us 6 hours a week support to get him out of the house - we couldn't get anyone because the hours were so low... we just wanted someone to take him to the cinema, the park...but it would work for your daughter..6 hours support, some hours tutoring, some hours cleaning..still time to apply for jobs/undergraduate schemes. I would say she needs to take the pressure off, build up some hours in different places, breathe a bit and accept she has to play the longer game.

@Bluelagoon02 Could she go back to her university careers service for advice?

Okay, so a generic degree means that it teaches broad skills, as apposed to something narrowly specialised. It’s not an insult, it’s a term.

It’s not surprising to the poster because of the way the current job market is operating.

This is no reflection on your DDs efforts. She’s done very well!

Apologies if I’ve missed it but I don’t think you’ve said if you’re actively seeking mental health support for your daughter? I appreciate you want to help her with her employment but I think as well as supporting her job search you should be helping her to gain the tools to manage challenging times without them posing a risk to her life.

What a strange response. A broad degree such as you have described your daughter having IS generic, and usually - especially these days - needs to be finessed a bit at the postgraduate level. It's not a judgement, it's a fact.

I have a very bright child making her uni choices soon, and she is keen on just such a degree, and I am actively encouraging her towards it because it gives her space to work on her languages and broader skills, as your daughter has done, and then she can pick a niche 3 years down the line when she has a better idea of what she wants to focus on, and choose an MA or vocational qualification accordingly. That is a very normal academic trajectory for lots of very clever young people.

Lots of us back in the day did degrees known as "General Arts" and then followed it up with a career specific MA - I did myself. You didn't even have to put a subject down on the equivalent of the UCAS form - you literally ticked "Arts" and then wandered along to some lectures in October.

My suggestion is simply that your daughter needs to pick that career niche, and train in it.

@Zilla1 thanks for your advice 🙂

@wishfulthinking93 I know it’s odd but she tried very hard. Constant job search.

@LurkyMcLurkinson no I haven’t yet but briefly discussed it with our GP.

Then I’d strongly urge you to. If you’re both putting all your energy in to her finding work and this being the solution to her emotional difficulties, is it any wonder that she’s struggling to gain perspective and realise that despite a challenging time this isn’t the end of the world, she can navigate hard times and things can get better.

Always welcome. If any of the barely coherent summary I sketched out quickly doesn't make sense or you want to clarify if/after you discuss with your DD or want more detail then please let me know and I'll be happy to help.

Good luck.

@LurkyMcLurkinson maybe so. Let me tell you we aren’t putting pressure on her the way you described it. But hey I just let her rot alone in her room instead. Fab 👍

Or alternatively you could continue to support her with her employment search AND seek mental health support.

I agree - I can spot Chat GPT in a CV - it's a style it follows and I wouldn't progress an applicant that uses it.

@greatfrontage it is not odd at all. This is what you wrote :

Her degree is extremely generic, so unless she got a 1st from a top tier university, I'm not hugely surprised that she is struggling right now.
Having a BA is all well and good, but if she can top it up with a postgraduate qualification, she will be better positioned for a job, and a better paying job, so if she got a 2.1, would she consider applying for a Masters somewhere? She's cutting it fine, but I'm sure some are still open for this coming October.

Sounds very harsh to me but maybe you are right !

Better off doing a proper apprenticeship these days.

It's a long journey. In some circumstances being a graduate can be like setting off much later on that journey and after having bought a much more expensive car. The graduate might take longer to get a job and not initially earn much more than a school leaver or an apprentice. For some professions/degrees/universities/personalities, their careers might not diverge significantly from that school leaver or apprentice, for others there will still be a significant graduate premium. Some careers need a degree, some post-graduate study and some not.

Generalisation is rarely meaningful and will often lead to the parents of graduates or apprentices taking things personally.

@Bluelagoon02 - 'I'm scared to lose her if something doesn't come up soon' ...what exactly do you mean? Your daughter has been job hunting since July.

@PattyDukeAstin Sadly so, although she had some great interviews in the interim.

There aren’t enough apprenticeships available.

Degree apprenticeships are incredibly competitive

Thete isn’t really a true choice

@Bluelagoon02 you are at perfect liberty to not quite answer my question. I just hope it's all drama on your part rather than a rational fear.

The mentorship I got at that time was

A. Analysing job ads together, deciphering jargon, refining applications. Is your DD getting interviews? If not, she's probably not giving examples of how she meets the essential & desirable criteria. E.g. if it lists 'ability to work in a team', she needs to write "I have the ability to work in a team. For example, in my role as student union bar staff, I worked collaboratively with my colleagues to ensure X, resulting in Y." She needs to do that for all of the criteria.

B. Having a routine. A weekly appointment made a difference.

C. A person who isn't a parent giving you feedback relevant to today's job market. It didn't come with the 21 year baggage of being a child, and the parent's idea of what getting a job is like. I know my mum meant well but she hadn't interviewed for many years - in her words, all you need to do is turn up 😅 she never prepared any answers!