New job and just lost my mum - want to quit

[Time4acuppa]

Need a hand hold / advice and maybe a slap across the head.

Ive had a very tough time over the past 3 months or so and i am totally burned out.

I lost my job of 17 years through redundancy in November. I did have a fairly decent package which is sitting in my savings. I decided to take December off so I could gather my senses and let the dust settle a little.

3 weeks ago I was given a job offer which I took. Tbh looking back, I think I was so desperate to work, (to get DWP off my back) I took the first one. Anyway, it’s so stressful and just doesn’t quite fit right. People are ok, other than moaning about others in different departments. The role is ok, very repetitive and a lot of phone calls (Sales ledger/Credit control - which I haven’t done much of)

A week and a bit in I caught that god awful stomach bug that resulted in 3 days off. Any more and I think I’ll be up for a disciplinary. My manager has already had a few words about my sickness in the back to work interview.

Now last Thursday I lost my mum. It wasn’t totally unexpected as she had blood cancer and has been fighting it for around 20 years but in the end it happened very quickly so was a bit of a shock. The past year has been horrendous and we almost lost her this time last year.

I feel like I want to quit. I have 2 days bereavement. One for the death and one for the funeral. My dad is in his 80’s and is absolutely heartbroken. Me and my sister are doing what we can, but my dad is 160 miles from me, and my sister 140 miles in the opposite direction. I so want to be there for my dad. It’s absolutely heart breaking seeing him so upset and lost. My sister works part time, so she kind of has more time out of work, but I dont want to over burden her as its not fair or right.

I have had it. Losing my job was stressful enough, but the loss of mum has just pushed me over the edge. I have enough savings to live and pay bills for about 6 months.
My manager was ok when I got the call from Dad, but its more time off. I dont feel ready to go back. Trying to be strong for Dad, but inside im in bits.

Has anyone quit after a loss? Thinking about phoning the GP, but when I was struggling after losing my nan 25 years ago, I was pretty much told to get on with it and stop making a fuss.

Sorry for the ramble. My head is all over the place at the moment.

I’d ask for some unpaid leave

So sorry for your loss x

get signed off sick to buy some breathing space x

I think most people would get signed off sick with stress in your situation. Ask to see a different GP at the practice, I’m really sorry you’re having such a horrible time. Be kind to yourself

Absolutely go on the sick, doctors will give a sick note in this situation. You really need time to grieve and be there for your dad.

Bit different these days, I hope. I lost my MIL very unexpectedly about 16 years ago, and I was signed off for 2 weeks. Yes, I was upset, but I just couldn't be away from my partner. We needed each other.

I'm sorry for your loss. You are right to say it's been incredibly stressful.
Will you get any paid sick leave? I stupidly took zero leave when my dad passed away and I wish now I had taken more to put some more support in for my mum.
I'd perhaps get a sick note for 2 weeks as space and assess then.
Hope you find the right path for you and your family x

That's very sad about your dm.
You've only been in the job three weeks, I'd quit, it sounds like they'll end your employment anyway if you get signed off.
You've got some money, take a month at least and get yourself straight, go stay with your ddad, take some time to support him and your dsis and allow yourself time to grieve.
Then look for another job, you can explain to a future employer why you were only there for such a short time.
You'd just started, dm passed and you needed to go home to support your ddad.
Be kind to yourself

I wouldn’t get signed off sick you want to leave. Ring and tell them due to a change in circumstances you won’t be back.

You won’t want to go back to a job that isn’t right. You’ve got the money. Your dad needs support. This is a no brainer

I’d leave and not look back. You say you have enough funds for around 6 months - concentrate on yourself and your family and take as much time as you need. 🌹

I think ask for unoaid leave. If that falls get signed off then take it from there. So sorry, it sounds a very difficult situation

Six months money will go very fast. Get signed off sick for a few weeks, then after the few weeks look for another job.

Would there be any use in asking yoyr employer for a month off without pay given tve circumstances. Just to give you some breathing space. Or even let you work 2 or 3 days a week?

So sorry for loss of Mum and job before that 💐my Mum just had enough and packed in her weekend job when her Mum (my nan) passed.

Please get yourself signed off sick op, be there for your Dad, be kind to yourself, and eventually have a look at other jobs you could apply for, as a fresh start but only when you feel ready

Two weeks off is pretty standard for loss of a close family member. Take your time.