How to deal with a bad line manager - any tips?

[B2210]

Hi all,

I’m in the civil service and a few weeks ago my line manager was threatening to put me on a PIP (performance plan) and whilst she’s changed her tune and hasn’t put me on a PIP I feel like I can’t do right for doing wrong with her and wouldn’t be surprised if she raises it again, despite me doing what I’ve been asked and more.
(The reasons for the pip where that I’m not engaged with the team and I’d made a mistake on a chart and didn’t understand an ask from another seo so did part of the work incorrectly). It’s made me so unhappy in my role to the point I’ve had two panic attacks and the Gp has prescribed me anti anxiety medication, something I’ve never needed before.

I can’t approach the current G7 as she’s very supportive of the Seos but they’re retiring soon and of course I don’t want to make a bad impression on the new 7 either (they’re not entirely new actually but it’s a merging of teams) I don’t think my LM is like with the other Heo she manages but we’re a national team so it’s a bit hard to tell.

Obviously I’m looking for another job but it’s slim pickings where I’m based and can’t relocate areas

I’m following any meetings where it’s just the two of us with an email to confirm actions and what was said but anything else?

Does anyone have any tips for dealing with an unpleasant, unapproachable and just generally not very competent line manager? Just daily things I could/should be doing and to be mindful of?

Thanks all 😊

Do you have a positive relationship with any of your colleagues or those in management ?

Yes very positive with the other heos and the one other seo on the team.

You need to make a record of the incidences you think are unfair and why. At the moment, this reads like you did have some problems with your work (made some errors, not engaging with team) and so it would be fair for a manager to look more closely at your performance.

You’ve said you feel like you can’t do right, and it’s made you anxious, but I can’t actually see what your line manager has done wrong here. Do you feel confident about your work, or are there areas where you could do with some support?

If you think you are being treated unfairly, you need to document these incidents, gather any evidence, and speak with HR.

How long have you been there? How long has she been your manager?

Thanks, I’ve been keeping a record of work I’m doing/tasks done each day and have noted the discussion we had where she threatened a pip in an email.

Id made a very minor mistake during the early QA stage of a project (literally a chart had a duplication that I hadn’t noticed) so it just felt very harsh to then phone me out of the blue a week later and say she wanted to put me on a pip for this.
I also raised her issue with my engagement because, whilst I am naturally a bit more introverted I speak and participate in our meetings, give updates, attend in person meetings, attend any training etc so I’m unsure what she means by that, and when I asked she didn’t clarify.

In terms of what I feel my LM has done wrong is just such a heavy handed approach, making feel uncomfortable to ask her for help and the engagement thing feels quite personal as others on the team don’t even put their cameras on for meetings but she’s not raised anything with them. It’s not so much it’s that she’s queried the mistake, it’s that it was a very minor one and she straight away wanted to put me on a formal plan.

the role is new (totally different from when I started before mat leave two years ago) and so it’s a learning curve but it’s also new to her so when I’ve asked her for help she isn’t able to provide any and often just sends a link to video or sends me to another seo.

Others on the team were each given a project but I wasn’t as I was told there just wasn’t enough to go round and that’s just how it all fell. However I’m now accused of being behind others , which I sort of am but I’ve only just got my first project whereas others are much further ahead. When I raised this my manager just wasn’t understanding of that at all.

2 and a bit years but a year was on mat leave. She’s been my manager nearly 6 months

Reading your original post, the relationship sounds very top-down, with you being 'done to'. Are there ways you could take some control, eg by asking her at the end of one of your 1:1s how things are going from her perspective, if there is anything she would like you to do differently? Is there something you could take on on your own initiative to show what you capable of in addition to the work she gives you - a proposal to improve ways of working? analysing the impact of a project that has already been completed?

Thank you that’s all really good advice. I feel I used to be more proactive but got criticised so much for it it’s really sapped my confidence.

Are you having monthly one to ones? That's a good way to keep track of stuff. If you're doing a lot if stuff it keeps track of it.

One mistake in a chart is not enough to have you on a pip. It's just one mistake. We are all human. What else did she say was her reasoning behind taking action? It can't be just one thing. She'd be laughed out the brownies.

Sounds like she's out of her depth in her post snd also as a line manager. Can you get any advice from her line manager about this situation or are you not close with them?

Join PCS union. Now. Do not delay because if this goes further you want to be a member prior. You can't run to the union on the day you have a problem as it's too late then and they can refuse to help you. It's a maximum of twenty quid a month or something. Join online today.

It is confidence-sapping for anyone if they are constantly being criticised. The 'Is there anything you would like me to do differently?' question would be a good place to start because you're starting things off but putting the ball in her court.

Thanks for the extra detail OP! This is now a lot more clear to why you feel this is unfair, and I would totally agree. It isn’t good enough for a manager to just critique you, but give you no actual detail or ways to improve.

Keep a document as mentioned, as if this continues, I’d go to HR and raise a grievance as you feel you’re being treated differently and unfairly. It could be classed as bullying if it continues, and there’s evidence that you’re not getting the same treatment as others in the team.

In the short term, I wouldn’t let her get away with not providing you with more detail and context. If she has a critique, ask her if she can expand on this via email, with ways she’d like you to improve, so that you both have a record and can follow up.

thanks for your reply, I really appreciate the advice.

We do have monthly 121s and I’ve also asked for weekly catch ups and for us both to take notes and email them to each other after the meetings to check understanding. She wasn’t really onboard and roles her eyes about it but has done it so far.

Her reasons were the chart, that I’d misunderstood an ask from another seo (which is related to the chart) and my lack of engagement with the team, she was really unclear on that but then said I needed to give more detailed updates in meetings (even though a lot of the team
just feedback weekly highlights).

she’s quite friendly with her manager so don’t think I’d get far by approaching them for advice.

im a member of pcs and have spoken to my rep about this, he’s advised to make sure any and all communication is written and clear and, whilst he doesn’t think it’s at grievance level yet if it continues it could be. Although tbh I don’t want to raise a grievance and go through all that, I just want to be able to do my job and be left alone.

Sounds like you're doing all you can. Be interesting to see what she puts in your EYR as it's that time. Let's hope it positive.

As for the misunderstanding, if you don't understand something she should help and support you not just come down on you.

She sounds horrible. She shouldn't be rolling her eyes at you either.

These crap bosses need training but if it's not mandatory (or crap content that doesn't really educate just to tick a box rather than improve someone) then she's the kind that would day she's too busy.

Defo keep looking fur another post. Update your CV just now ready!

With respect. see more

Honestly I don’t know why people get so excited about pips
I’ve been on them and put people on them

by the sounds of it you’ve made mistakes and there is room for improvement

pips done properly can be really beneficial I learnt loads got clear instructions on areas I needed to improve and regular reviews and my progress measured

this is what managers are for to get the best out of you by helping you improve

If she said she was putting you on a pip then didnt that's strange. Sounds like it was almost a threat? If she has said one of the reasons is engagement with team then can't clarify that... it all sounds a bit strange. Could there be a personality clash?

I really think my LM doesn't like me (he runs the place via personal relationships, friendships etc with people and id rather turn up, work and leave). I make sure notes from 1:1s are reflective of discussions, I am friendly but aside from a brief 'how's the fanily' I keep the conversation to work and needs must. I try and do anything remotely important via teams as he has a tendency of 'forgetting'. A couple of people who worked in our team have pretty much just disappeared, presumably after not getting along with this lm.

Sounds like your lm may be similar and it may be a little personal? My take is just to do a decent job, get feedback in writing. Its not ideal- we all want a relationship with a boss where you support each other but its another always to be.

Good luck x