My ego or something else?

[HireAndHigher]

Looking for some perspective because I’m struggling to make sense of where I’ve ended up. I’m caught between gratitude and frustration, questioning whether I’ve made the right choices.

Here’s the short version (keeping it vague and I've namechanged): I spent nearly two decades at my previous job before the business closed during Covid. It was a tough loss, but also a needed push... I probably wouldn’t have left otherwise. The pay was poor for the sector, there was no real room for growth, but I was trusted and had a lot of responsibility.

During the pandemic, I started a business with friends in the same sector. It didn’t last due to unforeseen challenges, but I loved the work.

After that, I took a job with great pay and benefits, but it was an incredibly toxic environment with brutal hours and terrible leadership. I lasted just over a year before an opportunity came my way - lower pay, fewer perks, but a chance to actually make an impact.

Fast forward a year... The team is small but deeply set in their ways. There’s a lot of complaining but no drive to change anything. Leadership is resistant to new approaches (but maintains otherwise!), and I’m being micromanaged into the ground. The business needs modernisation to survive, and while people acknowledge the issues, nothing changes. And I've grown lethargic and irritated, which isn't like me.

So here’s where I need advice: Am I just being impatient? Is this my ego talking? Do I stick it out and keep pushing, or is it time to move on—even if it means another job change in a short space of time? I’m exhausted, but I also see glimmers of potential here. Just not sure if it’s worth the fight.

Would love to hear any thoughts—WWYD?

I’d cut your losses and move on tbh. It doesn’t sound like it’ll get any better unless there’s a significant change at the top. Lethargic and irritated is very hard to come back from.

He might retire, but he's more likely not to. I'm not sure his wife wants him to be at home.

Odd advice but I'd wait a month to decide.

I think we all feel lethargic, irritated, and exhausted by end of February - my motto is never do nowt irreversible in February ... this may well just be me though!

I know it's March but only just.

Nowhere's perfect and too many changes in a short time won't look good. I think you should stick it out for a bit. And maybe pick one area to focus on improving and ask if you can make it your project to do so. Sometimes if people are busy it can feel overwhelming to try to sort everything out at the same time.

Loving that moto! To be fair it's been simmering for a while...

I'm overthinking this because of my impulsive move (very out of character!) from the other firm.

Sage advice, thank you.

You are right - nowhere is perfect. And I know that it will impact on how I'm viewed by my next employer... it is hugely demoralising.

The legacy of mismanagement has a huge impact on me, (and everyone else actually) and any attempt to streamline, and make changes are met with a wall of resistance even though it's TERRIBLE for the business. It's palpable, honestly. It will not thrive, and very possibly not survive. And this is where the question comes in - is it just my ego? I'm so used to being left to fix things up, and get things done - it just seems like a HUGE step backwards.

Thank you for the advice, I'll give it a go on a project by project basis. We have to meet in the middle at some point, eh??!

@HireAndHigher - I do love a treble negative, it always gives pause for thought!

I left a company where I literally "grew up". Spent many years and accumulated enormous amount of knowledge about the business and the people. But then over years, the business has just gone downhill but by bit. Everyone knew something should change.

And at one stage, before they sold the business to the current owner, they took a bunch of "consultants" who did lots of changes - for the wrong reason. People who cared and wanted it to be done right were bullied and humiliated in public. Toxic, toxic and very demoralising.

After it finally got sold, all the golden paint falling off quickly and it took years for the company and the workforce to recover. So people almost were grateful there's no more drama and what slowly simmers was this sense of hopelessness. So depressing. It's obviously every new management just want to live off from the legacy with no courage or incentive to introduce real change.

I decided enough is enough and jumped ship. Is it better? Oh hell! Four months in the new job, I'm desperately to leave. Another toxic environment but in a different way. I could have made a wiser choice if I knew...but I didn't - a leap of faith for something bigger until it wasn't.

I kept asking myself if I regret it and if it would have been better to stay put at previous company where I was respected and was able to make a difference. Especially when it's much harder to land another job right now, without mentioning no guarantee if any chance for better choice. But I don't regret. The depressing environment was more problematic to me. I wanted to explore new avenues even though I knew it might mean changing job every year instead of having the comfort and security of being in one place for ten years. I wanted to learn new things and wanted to push myself to expand.

So no, I don't regret. But this may not be what you would choose as we all have different priorities.

Good luck, OP, whichever way you choose. But know what matters the most and make plans to address the gaps, given that a different goal in the same place or ways to adjust for expectation if a new place isn't exactly how you would have planned.

@Return2thebasic thank you for sharing that - I can totally relate to "grew up" in, and actually your whole first sentence.

I get you and thank you for your response. Truly.

I'm going to wait until the end of the month before making a final decision. In the meantime, I will sharpen my CV and try not to rage quit! I want to earn a living, push myself to expand. Another realisation this morning: this place is riddled with inertia and it is exhausting and depressing. My own inertia is giving me anxiety. Perhaps my decision is made, after all.

Always better to make start when you have choices. Remind yourself, there's no urge to make a rushed decision to jump to somewhere you don't feel right. Take your time.

No need to wait till the CV is "perfect" either, as a few months down the line, you will bit by bit find new ideas to improve it. Same as interview skills. Learning to improve by going through it.