Should DH change jobs?

Birchwoods · 2025-03-05T16:28:01+00:00

DH enjoys his job, earns a good salary, has an established client base, decent bonus and colleagues that he considers friends. He's been there ten years. Company is a medium-sized land development company. He has been offered a job doing the same thing but at a global bank with a real estate division. Salary will be around 20% higher and the pension will be 22.5% (compared to the 6.5% he gets now). He's might not get a bonus for the first couple of years as he'll likely have to build up his client base from scratch, but the potential bonus is also higher than he gets now, although he's likely to have a very good few years at the current company. Why does the decision feel so hard? On paper it seems like a no-brainer, but in reality he's finding it hard to click send on his resignation. He's had several conversations with his current employer about salary and they know the package he's been offered but can't match it. His colleague is desperately trying to keep him. What would you do? He's quite ambitious and is not happy to just bumble along when he knows he can earn more but there are so many unknowns. It would be much easier if he hated his current job!

Mrsttcno1 · 05/03/2025 16:35

To be honest I do think it’s a big picture thing with changing jobs and it’s not as simple as just comparing the figures. If the extra money is essential then that really makes things simpler, if you absolutely need the extra cash to keep the house/food/heating etc then it’s easy, the job with more money wins and there’s no real debate. Where the money would be nice but isn’t essential it is harder, and some things are worth more than money can buy.

I was in this position last year, offered a new role elsewhere for 15k more, all seemed like a great opportunity, but I like where I am. Having colleagues I like, working somewhere that I feel valued, no awful management, being comfortable and happy going into work was worth more to me than the 15k because although that 15k would have been a nice holiday or savings boost we didn’t NEED it and I was very aware that an extra 15k wouldn’t make me feel better if I ended up absolutely hating the job and miserable.

As I say, if we couldn’t afford our bills then the decision would have been made for me, I’d have taken the job. But when the money isn’t essential it is worth weighing up, would 20% more make it worth it if he ends up hating the role and miserable going into work? Maybe, maybe not, only he knows.

Original poster

Birchwoods · 05/03/2025 16:39

Mrsttcno1 · 05/03/2025 16:35

To be honest I do think it’s a big picture thing with changing jobs and it’s not as simple as just comparing the figures. If the extra money is essential then that really makes things simpler, if you absolutely need the extra cash to keep the house/food/heating etc then it’s easy, the job with more money wins and there’s no real debate. Where the money would be nice but isn’t essential it is harder, and some things are worth more than money can buy.

I was in this position last year, offered a new role elsewhere for 15k more, all seemed like a great opportunity, but I like where I am. Having colleagues I like, working somewhere that I feel valued, no awful management, being comfortable and happy going into work was worth more to me than the 15k because although that 15k would have been a nice holiday or savings boost we didn’t NEED it and I was very aware that an extra 15k wouldn’t make me feel better if I ended up absolutely hating the job and miserable.

As I say, if we couldn’t afford our bills then the decision would have been made for me, I’d have taken the job. But when the money isn’t essential it is worth weighing up, would 20% more make it worth it if he ends up hating the role and miserable going into work? Maybe, maybe not, only he knows.

I wouldn't say we need the money, no, but I'm self-employed and don't currently pay into a pension, so DH is keen to invest the extra money for our retirement and kids future.

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Mrsttcno1 · 05/03/2025 16:46

Why aren’t you currently paying into a pension?

Original poster

Birchwoods · 05/03/2025 16:48

Mrsttcno1 · 05/03/2025 16:46

Why aren’t you currently paying into a pension?

Partly because I haven't got round to setting one up, partly because I can't really afford to. I pay a bit into a LISA.

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Mrsttcno1 · 05/03/2025 16:50

Birchwoods · 05/03/2025 16:48

Partly because I haven't got round to setting one up, partly because I can't really afford to. I pay a bit into a LISA.

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It sounds to me like you both need to sit down and have a proper conversation about future planning and what that looks like.

HelpMeGetThrough · 05/03/2025 16:59

Current climate, I would stay put. If he's given the chop, he'll get redundancy where he is.

He'd get nothing in the first couple of years in the new place and easy to get rid of, if they needed to reduce headcount.

Sunisshine · 05/03/2025 18:10

How old are you and your husband?

I get you; it is hard starting a new job; but if he is ambitious and it seems you don’t have much pension it seems worth considering. 20 percent increase salary and 22 percent pension is very good. do calculate what is the difference after tax though.

Perhaps check what the culture is in the new company first? And write all pro and contras. Can he give himself a bit more time to think about it.

notapizzaeater · 05/03/2025 18:15

If you can't afford to currently pay 8th your pension then you're not flush - how much would the bonuses he might miss out on be worth ..

Original poster

Birchwoods · 05/03/2025 18:56

I've only been self-employed since Nov 2022 so I do have a state pension, I just haven't set up a private one yet. My outgoings are high at the moment as I have a toddler at nursery, which I pay for. I probably could afford to pay into one, I just don't know which one to set up really.

We're early 40s. He is a high earner. He will get a signing on bonus after six months at the new job and a bonus in a year, so for the first year he'll probably earn the same money or a bit higher than at his current job, but with the potential to earn about £100k more over five years.

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Original poster

Birchwoods · 05/03/2025 19:01

It's the pension that's the big draw really.

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ByQuaintAzureWasp · 05/03/2025 19:03

I'd tell him to take the job.

Original poster

Birchwoods · 05/03/2025 19:06

I think the hesitance about whether it's the right move is emotional rather than practical as he loves his team and the job is pretty easy. Career-wise and financially it's the right move I think, he'll just be really sad to the leave the company and his colleagues.

He's pretty much got to the top of where he can get to at the current company and he doesn't feel ready to plod along.

Gah. Why do these things have to be so difficult!

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HappyHolidai · 05/03/2025 19:10

So you can't afford a pension because you are paying all the nursery fees? That doesn't seem at all fair.

As you are so dependent on his money what about the death in service benefits from each job? Sick pay? And healthcare? Do you have other life insurance in place? Because if he falls under the proverbial bus you could be in big trouble. (Obviously hope he won't!)

Original poster

Birchwoods · 05/03/2025 19:29

HappyHolidai · 05/03/2025 19:10

So you can't afford a pension because you are paying all the nursery fees? That doesn't seem at all fair.

As you are so dependent on his money what about the death in service benefits from each job? Sick pay? And healthcare? Do you have other life insurance in place? Because if he falls under the proverbial bus you could be in big trouble. (Obviously hope he won't!)

He pays the mortgage and bills, I pay for the kids and food, which is significantly less. My earnings aren't low, probably £50-£60k net, so I'm not completely reliant on him, but he's able to pay for holidays etc. We have life insurance, yes.

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Original poster

Birchwoods · 05/03/2025 19:29

HappyHolidai · 05/03/2025 19:10

So you can't afford a pension because you are paying all the nursery fees? That doesn't seem at all fair.

As you are so dependent on his money what about the death in service benefits from each job? Sick pay? And healthcare? Do you have other life insurance in place? Because if he falls under the proverbial bus you could be in big trouble. (Obviously hope he won't!)

The new job has lots of good benefits. Private healthcare etc.

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HappyHolidai · 05/03/2025 19:34

You earn that much and he earns loads more and you can't afford a pension?! Wow, you must spend a LOT of money between you.

Original poster

Birchwoods · 05/03/2025 19:52

HappyHolidai · 05/03/2025 19:34

You earn that much and he earns loads more and you can't afford a pension?! Wow, you must spend a LOT of money between you.

We don't spend on 'stuff' at all really. He saves some money every month, we have a few holidays a year and the last few years have spent quite a bit on our house after moving in, and large-ish mortgage. The figure I have for my income isn't net, I got it wrong. That's just after expenses but before tax. And my money comes in fits and starts, it's not a regular amount each month, so quote often when I get paid it all goes on paying bills.

Our finances are quite separate, which probably seems strange to some people.

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