Finished maternity, will this affect my bond with baby?

[Kittyxx]

I know it’s a little silly but I’m just looking for reassurance I think from other mums because others just don’t understand!

ive just finished my maternity and officially back to work! I spent a whole 14 months with my baby girl which I loved more than anything but I’m now back to working :(

i work as a nurse so I work 13 hour shifts 07:30-20:30 or nights 20:15-07:30. I’m 30 hours which is I was already on before having my baby. I just feel guilty for leaving for so long I end up missing her whole day! I cuddle her at night when I get home but that’s it and sometimes I’m back the next day and it’s just repeat! Plus side with the long hours I’m only working 3 days one week and 2 the next.

I just want to know do you think returning to work and being away for so many hours will affect my bond with my baby? She seems like she’s doing fine at home with my mother in law and husband which I’m glad for but then I also get sad that she’s happy without me and that our bond isn’t as strong anymore! She cries and gets really clingy in the morning when I’m leaving which is hard because she knows and I just leave her! I feel awful in her eyes :(

I also feel guilty that I’m okay at work and I forget about her and home sometimes, makes me think am I a bad mum? Maybe my bond to her is decreasing too with the space. I did want to drop my hours to 2 days a week (24 hours) but the pay drop just isn’t right for this period of is saving for a house and things.

I don’t know what I’m wanting to hear back, just some reassurance and maybe people who relate!

Thank you xx

No advice, but I'm also a nurse (in the community) and will be going back to work full time in June after a year off with my girl. I'm dreading it and feel wracked with guilt 😭

I think your bond will be okay. No matter what, you're her mum and place of safety. That won't change. She'll still absolutely adore you.

It won't affect your bond at all. It is great that you are able to leave her with close family. Her being happy without you doesn't mean your bond is affected, just that she has a bond with the other adults in her life, which is a massive positive for her. There is nothing wrong with getting absorbed in work, and not thinking about home, it suggests that you know she is being well looked after, so you know, subconsciously you can switch off, and focus on work.