New Job - difficult 1-2-1s

[Finetoday]

Any advice welcome as this could well be me !

I’ve been in new job 4.5 months, and had minimal handover into what is essentially a new post. It became quickly apparent that the ones who knew anything related to my role were done training within the first month. So basically I’m learning as I go and getting through.

I have 1-2-1s every week with Line Manager and I literally dread these now. He jumps on something and won’t listen to details regarding what I’ve done and why.
I am a professional in my field, so have a lot of knowledge, but am just not familiar with their processes and deadlines, etc. He basically calls me out on things with loud laughing and makes me out to be a liar or a fraud or something. It’s horrible. I literally feel like a loser who can’t perform basic tasks.

Im also not getting information when I should - but the resulting lateness of what I do is my fault.

He’s also questioning why I’m not going into the office even thought it’s meant to be a remote job.

Gosh it is me isn’t it - what should i do ??

I would make extra efforts to learn the processes

I do feel that it is extra hard to learn the ropes remotely though

I would start by asking colleagues for a Teams meet and screen share with you when they are going through any processes you need to learn

Your boss does not sound like a very nice man

If you meet over teams ask to record the meeting for transcript purposes so you know what you allegedly need to work on - his attitude during the meeting may well change

thanks for quick reply - I would go onsite but it’s a massive commute. I need to do it tho don’t I.

It’s the way he speaks to me and go off like a bottle of pop and won’t listen, and then makes me feel like 💩
I can’t see that getting better tbh

Your manager sounds like a right tit.

Haha thanks I needed this 😂

I would never treat a new stater like this. I love training people. I don’t really care if they’ve made mistakes so long as they say, and we can correct it together, and they learn from it.

He’s just to angry that he’s having to show me stuff (for the first time!). I feel like I can’t say anything to him. I’m already dreading next week’s meeting.
Ive applied for a new job today 🙈

He sounds like an absolute bully. I would definitely ask to record the meetings and say you find that very helpful in order to be able to review them to learn the processes and think about what he needs you to do. If he knows you've got a recording of it his attitude might well get better - and if it doesn't you've got good evidence of how bad he is being.

Does he have a boss that you could go and talk to? Or someone in HR? I suspect if he is like this, then he is well known to the company and you are not the first person he has treated in this way.

We've got similar issues of micromanagement and ongoing low-level bullying in our place and there are several of us who have experienced it. It really helps to realise you're not alone in this.

Also useful to send an email after each meeting you have with him setting out as a numbered list what he has said – what he criticised about what he wants you to do etc. you then have ongoing documentary evidence about the way he is treating you and if you do need to escalate it you've got email proof. Then if he also comes back to you and said you haven't done what he said but in fact it is what he said your proof too.

Dress it up as something like just further to our meeting this morning, I'm writing to confirm that you want me to do the following things… And you were concerned about the way I handled XYZ so I will do as you advise and do ABC in the future.

I love the idea of recording meetings but I think he’ll object or start questioning me and calling me out on the reason 🙈 I will definitely do the follow up email thing though.

Ive already reached out to 2 other direct reports - very professional, just asking how to get the most out of Mr X, how to go about this issue, that issue. Very breezy and positive, and definitely got the message that it’s not just me.
I left a long term perm job for this. I actually don’t think I’ll pass my 6 month probation. I don’t think I want to ☹️

Look for a new job seriously jumping through so many hoops in order to pass probation doesn’t sound good for your well-being. You can always say you weren’t a good fit with that company if you do get something else.