Feeling very overwhelmed currently. I'm a freelancer, who's work for a few reasons has dried up. Some of it relating to maternity leave and being out of the loop, some of it down to me not maintaining work relationships because of the juggle and some of it external factors like the industry itself being quieter and over saturated. When at its best I could be earning 50-60K. you can even earn more if youre just in the right network but currently I am struggling to make anywhere near that. I worked twice in February with two pencilled jobs not going my way.
DH works but if we relied solely on his wages we would maybe just about scrape by and I mean scrape! But I also worry because he finds this level of pressure hard and it really effects ever facet of our relationship.
The pregnancy was a surprise as contraception failed and there was a lot of discussions about whether we could do this. But in the end the idea of a termination was just too much. I knew that continuing would also be a struggle but I really imagined I would've got more work to help with this. things could change as it all comes in last minute but this sort of anxiety is really not good for me especially pregnant.
I have debts that need to be paid also which I really wanted to clear before maternity so at least the measly statutory I'd receive could help with the mortgage but now its looking like I may still have debt at this time and potentially incur more as I still have the 2 other DC to fund and care for.
It's getting me down so much because Im so experienced in my field but despite having good qualifications and a degree, I'm also not really qualified to walk into another high paying professional Job. The skills aren't really very transferable on paper. I've looked at other things like retail but worry that it won't even cover the extra nursery or wraparound care i'd need to implement to even work but not only that, as I'm pregnant and showing would they even hire me?
I just need advice on anyone who had a similar situation where they needed to work whilst pregnant, was it ok etc? Or even clever money saving tips? I feel extremely trapped by situation because I want to do something but emails go ignored when I do mail outs, and my circumstances mean I can just up and do any job any hours. I just desperately want to provide and contribute. Its making me feel helpless, lonely and a failure....hardly any of my friends have kids so I dont feel like they understand :( any ideas or advice? Thank you in advance!