Any Advice

[Avidreader12]

Feel stupid writing this, found job 16 months ago, had necessary skills experience and although when I joined the team there were massive issues with backlogs, morale and staff dynamic things seemed to turn around with good working environment, in last 6 months 1 colleague raised grivance against my manager I didn’t know I was called as witness and faced 2 formal HR meetings.

I got advice from Union but I could not ask for help from boss as she was part of it.

I am not a manager but a consultant customer service role but my direct boss has employed a colleague same level as me who is her best friend then when we needed a temporary member of staff the same colleague got her daughter the job in same team.

so to get to the point yesterday Friday Around 4pm the mum (colleague) similar age to me in her 40s shouted at me in front of another temp stating her daughter was a hard worker and I should be answering all her questions even though I said my boss had not asked me to train her, think call centre open plan office where I am expected to take inbound outbound calls and admin tasks so very little time to train people unless it’s on a rota. The same mum reduced me to tears and she twisted it around to say I had upset her she was fuming citing I wasn’t a team player she stood next to me towering over my desk. I resigned copying in HR and left at my finish time crying as I left the building I then went straight to my doctors and said I was being bullied at work. I thought I was good at my job but I’m worrying constantly about other people how they perceive me and who will react next.

I'm a bit confused. It doesn't sound like a great place to work, but are you saying that your resignation was about one incident yesterday with this other employee? Why didn't you go to a manager about it? This colleague isn't your boss - why didn't you just tell her that you don't have time to traion someone and to take it up with the manager? Or train her herself?

It sounds somewhat like this was the final straw because you don't feel confident about how others see you. Is this something that is always weighing on you, or is it about this specific workplace?

Sorry My direct boss wasn’t there and there was no managers in as supervisor was working from home, my colleague Y is throwing her weight around acting like a boss. My colleague laid into me citing her daughter isn’t like X who made a grievance against my boss. Colleague Y is best friends with the boss. I have attended grivance meetings where I was asked if there had been bullying in the team. I think my colleague was out of order and yes it was the last straw for me. I have also had similar run in with this person before where she pushed me by sending me teams message which was inappropriate think personal and against company rules I went through HR only rescinding my regisignation if the team atmosphere was ok to go back. I went back to work but my boss her friend never said Y had been pulled up on it. In fact Y continued to act like I was in the wrong. On Friday when this incident happened after she verbally laid into me she returned to her desk and started laughing with others like nothing had happened. My boss is not in this week half term I am supposed to work my notice but due to my state I can’t return to work Monday hence the doctors as I am stresssed out by everything.

I did say that I had not been asked to train her daughter but Y continued to argue with me it was totally unprofessional. I work for a large company financial and I’ve worked for them in the past but I believe my manager has not helped the situation by employing Y her best friend and Ys daughter in the same team. When I took the job I was told you have to have experience but Ys daughter is fresh out of school. It doesn’t affect what happens now but giving the background.

So this is the second time you have resigned?

Whether or not your boss is this womans friend, it would be very inappropriate for her to discuss anything about her with you, so she would not be expected to say whether she had been "pulled up" or not.

Given what you have said, I doubt if they will offer to rescind your resignation again, so probably best to move on now.

Update work asked me if I wanted to make a grivance I said no as creates even more stress, manager said I am to resolve between me colleague and her daughter. The manager was supposed to have had HR advice when she called me Friday but is now saying HR were on holiday (I do not believe that as we have hundreds of staff working for us) they asked me to come into office Monday for informal meeting but then back tracked and said it can’t happen as manager is working from home. I told them I do not feel comfortable returning to office with no team leader about as my colleague is likely to create more problems and it is a horrible team atmosphere. I asked if I need a sick note for Monday and she said no. Contractually I am now in my notice period is it not better to get further sick note? As I am going round in circles with no real resolution in sight.

I am going to be upfront about this - you won't like what I am about to say.

You are being impossible and whilst the colleague may be toxic, you are not helping this in any way at all. You have resigned twice - and again I am being honest - and seem to regard this as a "threat". If someone doesn't do what you want / like then you will resign. You pulled this once, said you were only coming back if they dealt with "it" and then went back to work. You have now done it again - resigned, expected them to "deal with it" but refused to submit a grievance. They are not your parents. You can't threaten to run away from home every time someone does something you don't like. You had the right to submit a grievance so they could deal with it properly, and you refused. They cannot deal with it unless you are willing to stand up for yourself, stop resigning at any slight, and act like an adult and either deal with it yourself or submit a grievance.

If I were your manager, your second resignation would have been accepted, end of story. This is not the way an adult manages their working life. If the work environment is toxic - and some are - then leave. But stop see-sawing like a diva, with "i resign but I'll come back if you want me to but I won't submit a grievance and... and.. and". Your last sentence says it all - "As I am going round in circles with no real resolution in sight." It is resolved. You have resigned and intend to be off sick until you get your own way until your notice period ends.

If you do not intend to return to work then you can self-certify sickness for one week, and after that you must have a sick note that covers any absence. If, instead, you intend to return to work, then "woman up", submit a grievance if you want the matter dealt with; and if you won't submit a grievance then accept that that is your decision and you are allowing your colleague to speak to you in a way you don't like, so you need to develop a thicker skin.

I no way I am a diva my work takes allegations of bullying seriously. I am following ACAS advice by asking work to investigate and resolve informally before I would contemplate persuing a grievance. On what planet is shouting and threatening someone in a professional place of work surrounded by witnesses ok? I do not need to man up by having a thicker skin I’m not sure what workplace you work in but it’s not normal, My colleague reduced me to tears and she laughed about it. You may think it was me but I’m old enough to know the difference between a colleague bullying me and a colleague losing it for no reason. Yes I do not need to return to work and can certify or get a doctors note for my notice period but why should I do that. Work wish to resolve this for me so I’m giving them the chance that’s me being reasonable I’m not playing games but bullying costs businesses in experienced staff and the manager could not find any reason for her behaviour. I’m glad your not my manager as obviously your not familiar with work place bullying.

Your version of events does seem a little one sided.
Why did you refuse to train the new person.
In my team we all help each other. It’s teamwork.
Sounds like a rather childish approach.

My colleague shouted in my face that I should be training her daughter, my colleague is not my boss. My contract does not state I am a trainer. It is not in my job description to train staff who has been set tasks to complete by my boss I am not completing work for colleagues when I have my own work to do. My colleague also has tasks to complete. My colleague does not run the team my boss does. Maybe it does sound childish but I am on a lot higher pay than the temporary staff for a reason my tasks are much more complicated than theirs. I have no problem with training if my boss had asked me to and I was given time away from my day to day role to do it.

If my post screams anything then it’s I’m not happy with work. I do not run away from situations I stood my ground on Friday but cost me emotionally why would I return to a work place where people think that’s ok and try to guilt trip me by citing the team.

I think it is for the best that you just walk away. Repeated resignations are just not healthy for you or the company.

Yes, ACAS say resolve informally if possible, but they don't generally tell you to formally resign until/unless your employer has resolved the issue.

(Also not sure how handing in your resignation is less stress than putting in a formal grievance unless you actually go through with actually leaving and don't return.)

Rescinding when everyone knows you've resigned over an issue instead of handling the matter through a grievance process is not the best way of handling the situation.

Anyway, you can self certify for Monday if you are genuinely too ill to work on that day.