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Original poster

Returning to work after mat leave

8 replies

FirstPregnancyWoman · 10/02/2025 22:56

Hello

Just wondering if you could please let me know your thoughts on the following and whether I screwed up...

I tried to return to work after 9 months of mat leave, doing 3 days with the view of going full time. After 3 weeks, I started feeling miserable, not being able to do things with my little one and the thought of nursery, not to mention that I am not enthusiastic about my workplace (only good thing is that it is remote work).

I started crying during a meeting with my line manager, and was honest in how I felt (perhaps too honest). They offered me to go on unpaid leave for 2 months or so. I have had another meeting with them, where I put forward a request to permanently work 3 days a week. This has been badly received, as they say that my role is a full time role, and with deadlines and work continually shifting, it would make the handover to a freelancer very difficult (I am an editor, and basically get given things at the very last minute, with continuous delays). In other words, they need someone there full time to do the work due to unpredictability of work....

I can see how their behaviour has changed a lot too...even with HR asking how I am going to meet deadlines if my baby is ill in nursery etc...

Have I screwed up with my emotional behaviour? Or are they pushing me out?

Thanks so much

OP posts:
NosyJosie · 10/02/2025 23:06

I think they have been fair and considerate when you had a meltdown.

I am not minimising your feelings - BTDT but the reality is that you have a job and it sounds like it isn’t suitable for part time or job sharing?

So the solutions are either you change the way you feel about being back at work and manage your emotions or you reconsider what you want to do by way of work and earnings.

It is super hard to leave your baby after may leave but it gets easier.

Original poster
FirstPregnancyWoman · 11/02/2025 00:33

Thank you - I am so sleep deprived and baby is still breastfeeding through the night (teething?), not to mention 5 drop off and pick ups - I won't be able to work full time...

Plus the thought of leaving my baby at nursery makes me sad, even 3 days are too much in my opinion for a 1 year old, we have no family around and we cannot afford a nanny...

Should I simply quit?

OP posts:
Bazel95 · 27/05/2025 20:32

FirstPregnancyWoman · 10/02/2025 22:56

Hello

Just wondering if you could please let me know your thoughts on the following and whether I screwed up...

I tried to return to work after 9 months of mat leave, doing 3 days with the view of going full time. After 3 weeks, I started feeling miserable, not being able to do things with my little one and the thought of nursery, not to mention that I am not enthusiastic about my workplace (only good thing is that it is remote work).

I started crying during a meeting with my line manager, and was honest in how I felt (perhaps too honest). They offered me to go on unpaid leave for 2 months or so. I have had another meeting with them, where I put forward a request to permanently work 3 days a week. This has been badly received, as they say that my role is a full time role, and with deadlines and work continually shifting, it would make the handover to a freelancer very difficult (I am an editor, and basically get given things at the very last minute, with continuous delays). In other words, they need someone there full time to do the work due to unpredictability of work....

I can see how their behaviour has changed a lot too...even with HR asking how I am going to meet deadlines if my baby is ill in nursery etc...

Have I screwed up with my emotional behaviour? Or are they pushing me out?

Thanks so much

Currently going through something similar. Unfortunately just reinforces how replaceable we are. I would just leave the role, the best way you can, and maybe find something else part time? Baby is more important ♥️ don’t feel bad about getting upset. It’s horrible when they make you feel valued then use it against you

Legend1 · 28/05/2025 01:57

It sounds like they are not pleased with you changing your hours, and they are looking for your exit. Work the hours on different time until you find more work. Once you become unemployed with extremely difficult to get back into work. It takes alot of compromise and prayer to overcome this.

Tbrh · 28/05/2025 02:59

I think the issue is your work isn't a part time job, that only works when the work is predicable and can wait for days before it is completed. Arr there any other roles in the company that might suit you better?

Seoidin · 28/05/2025 05:28

It sounds like you want to just leave it, as that’s what you’re asking.

it’s a fairly short sighted decision though.

yoi Need to rationally set out your 1, 3, 5-year goals.

what do you want to achieve for yourself and your child?

how will you fund this?

childcare is not an insurmountable problem, you need to think about the present and the future and have a clear vision of what you want your life to be like, so you know why you are making any decision.

good luck!

goldenretrieverenergy · 28/05/2025 05:42

Can you afford to live on one salary? Could you find a freelance work with your skills?

I was in a similar position and didn’t feel like I could return after 12 months, so I decided to stay at home for another year. My DC is now 2 and starting kindergarten part time. There was a big difference in how my DC was as a 1 year old and how they are now, I feel much more comfortable about childcare at this age.

I don’t think your work is being necessarily unreasonable, it sounds like your job is not suitable for part time hours.

AliBaliBee1234 · 28/05/2025 05:54

It depends on your finances and what you need to provide. I have returned full time and my baby is going to a childminder a couple of days a week and seems to love it. He's much younger than yours.

With the cost of living and me wanting him to live in a nice school/area with a great school. It's what I need to do regardless if it makes me happy.

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