Likely to be dismissed performance meeting scared

[Purpl]

Can anyone offer me any advice or sympathy I had a big error at work one I should have known better on. It will cost the company finanical penalties. I royally fxcked up. The job is so pressurised I’m always working over my allocated hours. I’ve had enough I’m mid 50s and the high pressured job is continually making me ill. I want to leave the whole industry now.
however I’m a worrier and people pleaser and I have to attend a meeting in a weeks time entitled performance management and I’m si worried. Whatever the outcome I’m leaving.
what should I say in meeting just apologise I made an error I have no clue why? My levels of anxiety won’t cope for a week.
can anymore make any suggestions to help me please. My head is just so very tired

Hi Op, sorry you find yourself in this position. You do know that everybody makes mistakes, don't you? Stop blaming yourself.
It does sound as though a change of job is needed, I would hand in my notice before the meeting if you've definitely decided to resign. You might want to give a few months' notice so that you give yourself time to find another job. In the meantime, slow down, stop working unpaid overtime.
In your meeting, acknowledge your error and apologise but do state that you beleive the expectations/demands are unrealistic - not much more to say is there?
Good luck.

What's your financial situation if you leave immediately @Purpl , would it be doable? Are you in a union that could give advice and support? It is far better to come clean and admit a mistake, which you are planning to do.

No job is worth this level of stress and anxiety if an alternative is at all possible. Forget about being a people pleaser, try to take deep breaths and know that whatever happens this is a temporary problem and you will get beyond it

Thank you. I have been struggling with my job for 6 years & I’ve changed company too to see if any different. It’s just the industry I’m in. I’ve seen so many colleagues have heart attacks young. So many people chronically overweight borderline alcoholics etc. I don’t want this I’ve always kept healthy but my mental heath is making me ill. I just feel gutted as I’m literally walking out on my career and the pay and package. I had planned to overpay mortgage and leave to a lower paid admin or retail job in 5 years but I can’t last that long.
Thank you for your kind words

You have rights even if you have messed up. Would you be able to negotiate a severance? 💐

I’m in a. Industry that doesn’t have unions. I’ve researched acas etc though. I have a 3 month notice period so I’m sure they will want me to work that especially as we are 2 men down atm.
financially we have a lot of equity in the house so we could downsize although still have 2 young adult kids living with us.
my pension isn’t great as worked part time for years but it’s something. I can’t take it for good few years yet.
we have wasted and enjoyed our salaries on holidays and giving kids chances like private tutors which I don’t regret. A lot of money I wasted is the result of binge eating booking holidays trips clothes mainly driven by being unhappy with stress levels, I do have minimal savings which would be burnt though quickly.
my problem is I’m in a highly technical role and just ti move to a lower level basic admin job or waitressing or something at my age mid 50s woukd I defo get work ?
oh and my car belongs to the company so I need to prob buy another one at some stage,
I just keep thinking if I was diagnosed with cancer like some friends tomorrow woukd any of this be worth it and the answer is no.
Thank you for your support I really need it today

Performance management doesn’t necessarily mean sacked. Can you just be open about the mistake annd pressure - ask to be redeployed ?

I think you can only go, apologise (but don't grovel - maybe prepare a statement that is short and sincere) and make plans for the future whatever the outcome. Agree that asking to be redeployed elsewhere could be one angle if that's possible? Say you were burned out by this role but have an idea of somewhere you could contribute that would be a win-win for everyone.

Good luck.

If you go into the performance meeting, are honest about your mistake and explain the stress levels you're under, will they listen? I'm guessing not from what you've said. It doesn't mean the end though and might give you a stop gap to find your way out.

Start working on your CV and making it have wide general appeal, concentrating on and evidencing your strengths and abilities and perhaps not too much the technical stuff that only applies to that industry. I thik there is help out there to refine a CV, I know it will probably cost but if it helps you while you're feeling so low it might be worth it.

The approach to management sounds quite impersonal. Good practice would be for your line manager to speak to you to let you know the meeting is going into your diary and a bit about what it's about. At least some of your anxiety, surely, is from not knowing what to expect. Could you ask your LM or HR this week as a way to bring your anxiety levels down and prepare with more focus?

Not a lawyer but if you've been there 6 years you can't be dismissed on the spot, I don't think a mistake would be considered gross negligence and it would be a high risk to backfire into a wrongful dismissal claim.

Can you ask if you can take a friend, colleague, adviser etc.?

I think you should go to the meeting and really not say very much. Definitely don't admit to anything or offer any excuses. Definitely don't quit on the spot, or even before. Just listen to what they say, tell them you want some time to think about it (whatever "it" is).

It's in your favour that you have 3 months notice and they are short of staff. It buys you time to look for another job whilst you are still employed - very important. And maybe you'll get a severance deal to stay the full 3 months.

Brush up the CV, update LinkedIn and ensure it says "open to offers". Don't think about downgrading your job, look for something at the same level. Try to move on (if necessary) to your schedule, not to theirs.

I don't know how big your mistake was, once about 20 years ago I made a mistake in a spreadsheet formula that meant the company couldn't pay a dividend of $80 million that it had been promising to shareholders... I didn't get fired or even carry all the blame, because there should have been more checks and controls over the spreadsheet that I had written from scratch.

Oh wow. Yes my error was similar. I glad it worked out for you.
my cv and linked in are up to date already thankfully as I have been looking for a little while.
there’s no denying I made an error but it’s happened. I am sure the company can get out of this though.
ironically I had a really good appraisal 6 months previously.
the 3 months definitely buys me time and maybe I can try and find a similar position.
thank you for sharing your story.

I discussed the mistake yesterday with no real problems to be honest. I already apologised and started working on rectifying. I wasn’t due to work today but I always scan my emails and the invitation to the meeting was there first thing. No mention of HR. It’s in person at the office although I work remotely.

Already mentioned last month twice and got standard reply other people have more. They are stressed too !