Fed up need help

[ByDenimFox]

Hi all,
Im a long time lurker but have never posted but seeing how helpful some/most people are on here I'm really stuck and in desperate need for some help and advice.
I work in the NHS and Im really struggling at work. Since coming back from maternity leave, things have been really difficult, and I dont know what to do next.

I first asked for flexible working, but it wasn't handled properly i never got anything in writing, just a vague verbal decline. After reading the policy and ACAS guidelines, I realised this wasnt right, so I put in another request. Instead of dealing with it fairly, I was put on a capability plan, and my request was refused again. I appealed, but I haven't heard anything back. The ACAS two-month deadline was up today but I still dont have a date for when Ill get a response.

I also feel like im being treated unfairly at work. Other peoples mistakes seem to be ignored, but mine are always pointed out. My manager documents every conversation we have, but not always in a fair way, and when I try to explain, my words get twisted. This makes me feel like I cannot speak up or defend myself properly.

This whole situation is really affecting my mental and physical health. I feel anxious all the time and struggle to concentrate. My sleep is bad I either cant switch off or wake up feeling exhausted. I feel drained, stressed, and like Ive lost all motivation. Its now affecting my home life too. My partner has started complaining that Im always talking about work, but I cant help it because its constantly on my mind. I feel mentally exhausted and dont know how much longer I can keep going like this.

Im in a union and my rep is helping me but I dont want to keep nagging him as he has not responded to my email i sent last week.
I cant leave as i financially cannot afford to which is adding to my anxiety. Im really struggling and dont know what to do next. Id be very grateful for any advice.

Thanks in advance

What do you do in the NHS?

Could you move to a different department?

I think it’s time to job hunt tbh, i’m sorry. They clearly don’t want your flexible working and I think once a manager’s made their mind up about someone like that, it’s not going to get any better.

Hi, thanks for your reply Im a service desk tech. Cant move as my skillset wouldnt align with any other post in similar banding.

Are you able to ask for more training so there aren't issues with mistakes?
Is there an option for retraining to a different role?

This is all i know its my only expertise, i have been looking for other jobs but its very difficult to find something in this field adding to my worries. .

I dont require training im doing well in my job, Ive been doing it for 6 years. By mistakes i mean for e.g. a spelling or grammatical error, forgetting to tick a box which is made worse under the pressure of all this.

Everything was fine prior to mat leave there was no issues with anything. Its only since returning and requesting FW that suddenly all this has come on.

Sorry, I wasn't trying to be rude, it's just you said they were calling you out on mistakes, put you on a capacity plan, and you felt you had to defend yourself, made it sound like more things were happening.

Sorry @DaftyLass I wasnt clear about it, no its more just little excuses almost. I feel im being managed out but not sure why. My last PDRs all state over achieving. As mentioned previously ive never had an issue its just been since putting in my FW request and made worse since appealing it.

If you asked for FW they probably think you’ll end up leaving soon as it was declined so managing you out is the next best thing for them.

Different field of work but since complaining about some situation in my workplace - mostly unfair treatment - I’ve suddenly been mostly out of work and stare at walls all day because my work is being passed on straight to the person under me. Pretty sure it’s because they know I’m likely to leave (which funnily enough is only making me more sure I have to).

I have no intention of leaving and have not implied this to management either i believe im within my right to request fw as other colleagues have in my rejection they have not provided any evidence for the rejection just a what seems like a copy and paste from the acas website.

@ByDenimFox I had no intention to leave either, when I brought up the situation it was to get a clarification, but I suspect sometimes employers/management just take it the wrong way.